Knight_Ctrl Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 I got set off tonight, ex's new b/f drove by the second I got out of work. This is the guy she left me for and it sent me into instant rage. Now I'm back at the house, first time in literally like a month or so since I've been alone. Guys I'm a ****ing wreck, this is the first time in like 2 weeks I've really cried over this again.........I don't want to do anything stupid like call her or something. I just needed to make a thread so keep my mind off ****........
lovingalways Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 I'm here for you. Just vent here. Let it out.
starzphalling Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 i think today has been a bad day for a lot of us. don't call, you're stronger than that and it won't do anything but upset you more. and there is nothing wrong with wanting to bash someones head in with a brick...as long as its not my head, and you don't actually do it. but you'll sleep tonight, and tomorrow is another day. i think i may be talking to myself...but im right there with ya today...started good and then went downhill till i ran into a nuke and it decimated the surrounding area...
lonelygurl Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Do you live in a small town? How did he happen to be just driving by when you were leaving?? his he stalking you?? It has been known to happen. I'm sorry that had to happen. I can imagine how horrible you feel. I know if it were me I would have started throwing up instantly. This is such a horrible thing we have to go through. I wish I knew what to tell you to make you feel better but honestly I don't. I can just say that I'm here with you in the same pain. There was a van parked outside of my townhouse this morning and it seemed rather strange since there was a guy sitting in it. I wondered if it was my X in one of the guys at work vehicles. I guess I won't know. I looked at the driver but couldn't tell for sure with the tinted windows and I didn't have my glasses on, plus I had just woke up. after I drove by and he looked at me and then he started the van and left just as I drove down the street. Makes me suspicious.
Helioz Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 dude, i know how you feel man. today was particularly hard for me, especially once i started to reminisce about the good times. I was so f**king depressed! I felt like i couldnt get a hold of myself for a moment. I just gave it time and i feel definitely much better now than i did a couple hours ago.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 its rediculious. I feel like im more pissed at myself than anything because i had myself so convinced that i was over it..........dead wrong.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 Do you live in a small town? How did he happen to be just driving by when you were leaving?? his he stalking you?? It has been known to happen. I'm sorry that had to happen. I can imagine how horrible you feel. I know if it were me I would have started throwing up instantly. This is such a horrible thing we have to go through. I wish I knew what to tell you to make you feel better but honestly I don't. I can just say that I'm here with you in the same pain. There was a van parked outside of my townhouse this morning and it seemed rather strange since there was a guy sitting in it. I wondered if it was my X in one of the guys at work vehicles. I guess I won't know. I looked at the driver but couldn't tell for sure with the tinted windows and I didn't have my glasses on, plus I had just woke up. after I drove by and he looked at me and then he started the van and left just as I drove down the street. Makes me suspicious. unfortunately i do live in a small town. anytime i want to go anywhere i have to drive past where they both work together..........ugh, their cars are always parked next to each others.......
lonelygurl Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 unfortunately i do live in a small town. anytime i want to go anywhere i have to drive past where they both work together..........ugh, their cars are always parked next to each others....... Okay that is just really bad! I don't know how you are doing it. I know I sure couldn't. Thankfully I live in a really big city and my X works at the other end of it, and right now is living outside of the city. I would find it very hard to have to see them and their cars/work all the time. I'm so sorry for you!
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 i had a bad start to the day............i was on facebook last night and one of my ex's friends posted photos...........so i log on, and there's a big photo of my ex on my news feed even though i deleted him ages ago. so i deleted his friends off it. i can't stand to see him happy without me. and i know that's what he is. it didn't even bother me to look at the photo so much, it was leaving it that bothered me................like i had to say goodbye again. felt empowered deleting his friends................. but then i woke up this morning feeling miserable and started crying again. i also started to think about the good times..........................there were so many that i wonder how could things have gone so pear-shaped?
RM0123 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 i had a bad start to the day............i was on facebook last night and one of my ex's friends posted photos...........so i log on, and there's a big photo of my ex on my news feed even though i deleted him ages ago. so i deleted his friends off it. i can't stand to see him happy without me. and i know that's what he is. it didn't even bother me to look at the photo so much, it was leaving it that bothered me................like i had to say goodbye again. felt empowered deleting his friends................. but then i woke up this morning feeling miserable and started crying again. i also started to think about the good times..........................there were so many that i wonder how could things have gone so pear-shaped? That exact same thing happened to me last night! How horrible is it to see their face plastered all over FB. Dang that site!
lovingalways Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 That exact same thing happened to me last night! How horrible is it to see their face plastered all over FB. Dang that site! Close your Fb account?! Just a suggestion. I did mine.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 Close your Fb account?! Just a suggestion. I did mine. holy hell yes, i deleted my facebook and my myspace. staying on there is like asking to get hurt. I wont even be around my friends when they are browsing their myspace or whatever lol.
RM0123 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Close your Fb account?! Just a suggestion. I did mine. I did it. OMG! I can't believe it. I checked it religiously. Now I just have to refrain from reactivating it.
openbook08 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 well done!! i did the same a few months ago. its one less hurt. feel your pain knight_control, i also live in a small town so does he luckily we work at either sides of the country & i dont socialise here anymore but i know hes had her here a few weekends now early one sun morning, before christmas, i was goin shoppin w my mam, out of town, & i met him on the road, a few mins outside our town comin towards me. im pretty sure she was in car with him (the only other woman hed have in his car is his mam & shes bright blonde so you wouldnt miss her!!) anyway i had to do this crazy squint thing where i had just enough vision not to crash but not enough to make out any figures in his car!! crazy eh?? ah brings it back. . im so not over him either
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Knight_CTRL, man. Man, man, man. You expect too much of yourself by thinking you were over this already. How long did you date and how long has it been? It'll be a good many months before you're over her. And if you tell her you're over her, or expect yourself to be over her anytime soon, then you'll only find a different type of heartache, directed at yourself.
Citizen Erased Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Judging by your avatar you are a H.I.M fan. I suggest you refrain from listening to them. That can only hurt you more.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 Knight_CTRL, man. Man, man, man. You expect too much of yourself by thinking you were over this already. How long did you date and how long has it been? It'll be a good many months before you're over her. And if you tell her you're over her, or expect yourself to be over her anytime soon, then you'll only find a different type of heartache, directed at yourself. We dated for 8 months..........which compared to many of the posts on here isn't very long......but christ did I fall for her. We had everything, never fought. It was so great........obviously not since it ended......but still. I don't plan on talking to her again ever.......and if she gets a hold of me, I dont know
kizik Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Hey dude, you better answer to my post, b/c I think the whole site is ignoring me. 8 months is a long time. So is 3 years. It's all a long time when you loved someone. But listen, this is the first time you've been alone in a month? Dude, you need to start learning to be able to hang out on your own and have fun. There's way more to do, and no one bothers you for it. There ARE ups, and that's what I've just described. Unfortunately you are feeling the downest of the downs right now, and I feel you on that one. You have to be exercising a lot during this time. I'm serious. And if you have a hobby, DO IT - you'll feel f*cking good about yourself. BE BUSY. Don't sit around and let yourself think about it. You have to practice thought replacement. You simply actively reject thoughts or her - ANYTHING about her - when they try to invade your head, and replace them with your special place. Your special place is your happiest memory EVER, WITHOUT HER. Repeat until it becomes natural.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 Hey dude, you better answer to my post, b/c I think the whole site is ignoring me. 8 months is a long time. So is 3 years. It's all a long time when you loved someone. But listen, this is the first time you've been alone in a month? Dude, you need to start learning to be able to hang out on your own and have fun. There's way more to do, and no one bothers you for it. There ARE ups, and that's what I've just described. Unfortunately you are feeling the downest of the downs right now, and I feel you on that one. You have to be exercising a lot during this time. I'm serious. And if you have a hobby, DO IT - you'll feel f*cking good about yourself. BE BUSY. Don't sit around and let yourself think about it. You have to practice thought replacement. You simply actively reject thoughts or her - ANYTHING about her - when they try to invade your head, and replace them with your special place. Your special place is your happiest memory EVER, WITHOUT HER. Repeat until it becomes natural. I guess its a problem with being able to maintain that strength. I have been doing that well, but now that I think about it maybe its only because I was constantly surrounded by friends ( I had one living with me for a while). And now that I'm alone tonight on top of seeing douche bag it just set me way back. Primary hobby of mine is video games, which as geek as it is really does help me......nothing really better to get my mind off of her aside from working out, but currently I'm unable to do that. I'm sure I'll wake up tomorrow and hopefully feel good, but what about next time he drives by, or she does. Or even worse, I see them together....I know its going to happen. Small town is small and no matter how long I try and put it off I know its going to happen....what then.
FeedingOnFever Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 I'm so sorry to hear this. It may seem like a small thing, but I understand. I was sabotaged like this too. My ex decided to drop off something for me and my mom, and who was in his car? The new girl. Right there in the passenger seat, smiling and waving at my mom like she was the queen of Sheba. The ex was so pale I thought he'd puke. The girl was so smug *I* wanted to puke. They didn't even get out of the car or anything, but it was enough to send me into a blind rage, which I am still not fully out of (it happened yesterday). I'm going to karaoke with girlfriends tomorrow and really let myself go. All the breakup, girl power songs I can find. A healthy way to get out that rage and aggression is key. I know just singing won't be enough for me, so I might take up kick-boxing. (Says the 5"2, 115 lb. Asian girl. I can do eet!) Stay strong man. Posting really does help, huh? I've stopped myself from doing so many stupid things by talking about it here instead. Keep it up, and so will we.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 this place has been an outright godsend.......and I'm an atheist lol. Thanks for the help last night everyone, kept me from being really dumb and calling her like I wanted to. Or even worse, calling this ex friend of mine or going to kick his ass. Instead I watched cartoons.
durotto Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 I even sneak in office when I am down ... keeps my spirits up and helps me in my resolve over NC ... thanks everyone ...
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