smartgirl70 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 I have been dating a man for 7 months now. He insists that we are only dating and do not have a relationship. We are exclusive- don't date other people. We spend plenty of time together. Honestly things are great except for the constant struggle between us over the status of our dating. He just insists that his career has to be his focus for the next two years and will not let himself have a relationship until he has reached some of his goals. He wants to be free to go anywhere his job may take him- alone. He doesn't want to sleep around- it's truly about his work. After that he wants to settle down and have a family. I know he cares for me but he's serious about not letting himself fall in love right now. Here's my question: 2 years is a flash in the pan- do I hang on through this period of self discovery or do I break up with him because he can't give me everything I want right now? It sounds crazy but I want to stick by him even though it's not a true relationship. Am I setting myself up for heartache and lost time? I am 39 and he is 42. I do love him but I don't trust my own feelings right now.
AlektraClementine Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 there's nothing wrong with keeping him in your life while he's focused on his career. AS LONG as you are nurturing yourself also. You said he can't give you what you want right now. Are you keeping your options open in case someone else comes along who might be able to give you what you want?
Author smartgirl70 Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 I go out with friends and try to keep my life balanced. I certainly am not out there looking though. I guess I feel devoted to him and perhaps I need to try to lessen my emotional attachment but it's pretty hard to do. Thanks for the input. I should probably refocus a little more on me this year.
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