BaD_Day Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 This is to follow up with my birthday thingy in the other thread... I basically got a birthday gift (candy/chocolate) + a card from this girl. I'll write some of it out. "... thank you for all the things you have done for me, I really appreciate it. Thank you for being a great friend, hopefully we'll get closer and become even better friends. You're one awesome person, someone who always make me laugh no matter what...." that's a nice way of saying friends only right? The birthday lunch was suppose to be me/her, then at the last minute some guy she knows wanted to tag along (not sure if they're dating, should I ask? it doesn't look like it from what I see). I think he invited himself in and she can't say no, then she tried to invite some other people she knows along the trip... not sure if that's an attempt to tell me. 1) This lunch isn't a date 2) She isn't dating him. At any rate I'm a little steamed up, because she asked me to lunch, and if she's pulling something like this on me then that's pretty disrespectful.
BCCA Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 I mean, she said 'friend' a couple of times. Personally, I wouldnt send that to someone who I was romantically interested in. As for the random dude coming along...if she wanted some 1 on 1 time with you, he wouldnt have been there. Even if he tried to invite himself, she wouldve shot him down if she wanted to be alone with you, trust me. To me, it sounds like she knows you like her more than a friend, but since she is content with the way things are, shes trying to avoid having any serious discussions or you being angry with her. So, shes trying to throw out this 'glad we're friends' vibe to see what your reaction is. You cant think every woman that asks you to lunch, gives you their number, or smiles at you is romantically interested. A lot of women, in my experience, just like the extra attention that being a little overly friendly gets them. She probably NEVER intended to hurt you or be a jerk, but she didnt think about things as far ahead as you did, either. She wanted a friend, asked you to lunch, end of story from her point of view. I would back off and see how she reacts. If she asks you to lunch again or gives you some new signs, let us know and Im sure someone will have some advice. But from what youve told me here, she wants to be friends.
Author BaD_Day Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 I mean, she said 'friend' a couple of times. Personally, I wouldnt send that to someone who I was romantically interested in. As for the random dude coming along...if she wanted some 1 on 1 time with you, he wouldnt have been there. Even if he tried to invite himself, she wouldve shot him down if she wanted to be alone with you, trust me. To me, it sounds like she knows you like her more than a friend, but since she is content with the way things are, shes trying to avoid having any serious discussions or you being angry with her. So, shes trying to throw out this 'glad we're friends' vibe to see what your reaction is. You cant think every woman that asks you to lunch, gives you their number, or smiles at you is romantically interested. A lot of women, in my experience, just like the extra attention that being a little overly friendly gets them. She probably NEVER intended to hurt you or be a jerk, but she didnt think about things as far ahead as you did, either. She wanted a friend, asked you to lunch, end of story from her point of view. I would back off and see how she reacts. If she asks you to lunch again or gives you some new signs, let us know and Im sure someone will have some advice. But from what youve told me here, she wants to be friends. But the thing is, I've backed off before, multiple times, every time I backed out she pull me back in. Either by calling or meseging me. Last time I was so ticked off I backed wayyy off and she left me stupid messages for days (smiley and stuff that's kindda stupid with no meanings). And she invited me to study with her... what the hell. I rather she just ignore me and let me out of the loop, this is a little too much for me to deal with. I'm one of those person that would never say I like a girl in front of their face, and she knows this. She even tell me "I already know you'll never tell a girl you like her even if you do"... and she keep saying stuff like "let's find you a girlfriend"... I was thinking in my head "how about you be my girlfriend?" lol.
BCCA Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 When you back off, and she can pull you back in with a little flirtyness over email, etc...she gets the idea that she knows what buttons to push to make you do what she wants. To a certain extent, she does. Its hard when you want someone to like you, because you kind of end up taking the bare minimum. "let's find you a girlfriend" Ouch! Also not a great sign, honestly. She wouldnt say that if she wanted it to be her. Trust me, if there is one thing I've learned about people its that theyre selfish and will take a mile if you give them an inch. Not everyone, but most people. And if you never tell her you like her, youre feeding right into her hand, because then she can keep playing dumb lol Im sure she has an idea youre interested, guys generally arent hard to read. Shes kind of stringing you along and trying to convince you to go along with what she wants without any discussion. I would say something about it, otherwise, she'll just keep doing this.
zenith Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 you have been FZ'd big time, dude if you are interested in her romantically, I suggest you walk away and ignore her... for good unless you still wanna be her friend
Author BaD_Day Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 When you back off, and she can pull you back in with a little flirtyness over email, etc...she gets the idea that she knows what buttons to push to make you do what she wants. To a certain extent, she does. Its hard when you want someone to like you, because you kind of end up taking the bare minimum. "let's find you a girlfriend" Ouch! Also not a great sign, honestly. She wouldnt say that if she wanted it to be her. Trust me, if there is one thing I've learned about people its that theyre selfish and will take a mile if you give them an inch. Not everyone, but most people. And if you never tell her you like her, youre feeding right into her hand, because then she can keep playing dumb lol Im sure she has an idea youre interested, guys generally arent hard to read. Shes kind of stringing you along and trying to convince you to go along with what she wants without any discussion. I would say something about it, otherwise, she'll just keep doing this. The thing about this girl is that she's a little weird (not sure if that's the right way to say it), very unpredicable and is kindda unconventional IMO. I'm trying hard to read her but it always coming back with mix results, and it's sucks because I read people pretty well. This girl says one thing and do another, she keep asking me "who do you like?" (and I wanted yell at her "you really don't know?". And she drag me in stuff that she's involve in (internship, community activities, studies ect...), which I decline (I think I declined all of them haha) because it's not my thing... Like I said, alot of mix signals, she says friends but she doesn't act like it. I jump out she pull me back in. I'll probably ask her to sit down and talk about this soon, this is wooping my ass, I rather just leave it behind than dragging it on like a dead body.
kashmir Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 I'm one of those person that would never say I like a girl in front of their face, and she knows this. She even tell me "I already know you'll never tell a girl you like her even if you do"... and she keep saying stuff like "let's find you a girlfriend"... I was thinking in my head "how about you be my girlfriend?" lol. Sorry man, but you're in the friend zone and you ain't getting out. Personally I hate girls like this. They want the best of both worlds...they take advantage of a guy's companionship without giving anything more. Since she has no problem or no idea she's taking advantage of you, take advantage of her. Take her up on her offer. Let her hook you up with other chicks.
BobSacamento Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Damn that's brutal man. She better have hot friends.
getchoo Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 "let's find you a girlfriend" I would have shot back "Why, when I like you" in a joking but serious way.
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