seperatingsoon Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Hi Guys you support would be much appreciated my wife is moving out at the end of the month and has already found house share and put a deposit down my story is that she said i always called her names and told her she was a **** wife and i did but only when she neglected me she spended every day and night either on her phone or on the computer with her friend and it was like i didint excist in my own house i told her nicely it is bothering our relationship and she even ignored me even more! There was no way of getting through to her i always ran out of oppotions i started being nasty and called her names she has done this on several occasions in our relationship she never wanted to talk things out and it drove me to loosing self respect an i always use to get nasty and call her names but nothing ever went through to her. She now says all my abuse affected her and that there is to much pain to selvage our relationship. We always use to work out our fights but i always wanted to do marriage councelling after a fight but she was never intrested. She is not intrested now she said she just want to go and never see me again she said there is nothing to save she says she dont love me anymore. About a month and a half ago she was planning a baby with me until she met this new girlfriend and started to neglect me i told her it is affecting our relationship and she sarted doing it even more i kept on telling her nicely that it was afecting our relationship and after a while i started loosing control saying nasty things to her to try to get her attention but it didnt work either it drove her away even more am i a really bad person for getting that nasty or was she driving me to a point where i lost control everytime i do it i feel really bad afterwards it really drained me. I need advise i dont know what to do am i really that bad a person she makes me feel like i am really evil and mean?
BusterBrown Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 my wife was the same way. she was not willing to work on things at all. I hope in your case it gets better, but i can tell u in my case it has not. i've tried every possible thing to fix this marriage. she will not budge. Refuses to work it out or go to counseling(i've been going by myself). i guess when women get to this point they feel it is beyond repair. Reading other peoples' stories on this board, it seems like most of the time when it gets to the point u r at, it is over in her mind and there is nothing u can do to change it. Oh and i know what you mean about her making you feel like it is all your fault. Believe me, it isn't. She is just deflecting. i hope your situation gets better. Keep trying and don't give up, you are not at the end of your rope yet. Unfortunately, i know i am at the end of mine.
BikerBeagle Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 my story is that she said i always called her names and told her she was a **** wife and i did ... ...i started being nasty and called her names ... ...and after a while i started loosing control saying nasty things to her ... am i really that bad a person...?Yes. It's obvious that the two of you need to be - and stay - as far away from each other as possible. It's a respect and maturity issue that, apparently, both of you lack a great deal of.
LillyBlue Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Calling a woman names and being a jerk will not win you any admiration. Even if you thought she deserved to be called names, doing so only pushed her away from you. If you were being neglected, then you must have been very unhappy. Just be glad the two of you have no children and move on.
amaysngrace Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Two people make a marriage work and two people make a marriage fail. It's nobody's fault. It just is. Sometimes things just don't go as we planned. Anyway I'm sorry you are sad about the loss of your marriage. It's a tough thing to go through knowing that everything you hoped for and worked for didn't work out. I don't know of any one person who went through divorce who doesn't think they failed in some way, no matter who did or didn't do what. Even if it was just picking the wrong person to marry in the first place. Try not to beat yourself up too much.
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