diskey23 Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Past: 2002. I was 19, she was 17, from the same place, common friends. Went to the same college (by chance) dated for 8 months and she broke up with me for someone else. It was my first breakup & I handled like a doormat. Well I dated someone else for a few months & eventually broke up with her for my ex. We dated for 2 more years then broke up again before senior year of college. I think it was some what mutual bc we never really tried contacting each other for the most part. 2 years go by, we dated others. Recent: She gets a good job after college in a large city & I move back home where we’re from. 2 summers ago she calls me out of the blue and from there it went great. I was 24, she was 23, it was after college thinking maybe after being apart for so long we had matured. This past Sept, she eventually talks me into moving 4 hours away to where she lives. It was a transition that included arguments and after a month and a half there, I said during a fight maybe we should break up, she kicked me out. I tried to smooth things over but she was apparently thinking the same thing. We talked daily & saw each other a couple times a week for a month. I came back to my home town for the past month or so to work (didn’t find a job there yet). Now: Im 26. We have talked less & less, I know she didn’t like the fact I was moving home for a bit. Im not sure who actually broke up with who officially but I know sometimes I miss her. Although it says im a new member, I ve been reading posts on here for years to know most will tell me to not contact her anymore. Here’s the dilemma: Do I…? 1. Stay in the city where I moved to, I have a roommate, some friends which are all married. It’s a much bigger city with more possible job opportunities. I don’t really like the suburb I live in & the reason moved there is my ex gf. 2.Move back home(also a city but only 200kish) I have at least a part time job lined up, a lot of friends & family, which include female friends, Im more comfortable there & it seems easier away from my ex gf but also probably means the official end with her. Any other thoughts would be appreciated.
Author diskey23 Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 i appreciate the response, thats how im leaning.
BackonTrack2 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Hello Sir, I cannot give you advice as to what to do with your current/ex love interest. I can only give advice based on past experiences that I feel will be beneficially for you in the LONG term. From the sounds of your post, I do not think it really matters where you reside. You happen to be in a city with a girm whom you were/is involved in a sexual relationship with. That relationship went south and now you are deciding weather or not you would like to remain in the city. Given the fact that your only real reason(s) for going to that city was to be with her, and while there you developed a life, it does not appear that you mind either way which routue you take, however back home you have allot of friends, family as well as OTHER possible love interests. In your current city, it appears that you like it because it is bigger, but I don't think that is what is keeping you there. If the reason you are staying there is because deep down, in the back of your mind, you believe you and this love interest can have a possible, 3rd, or 4th, reconciliation, then I would recommend you go back home and start over. If I was you and knowning what I know now, I once tried to start a life with a female by obtaining an apartment in a new TOWN, it failed miserability. In the end, I wasted allot of money, money that I could of used for other things. Other than my wasting the money, I was put in a place where I was depressed and lonely for several months however your situtation and mine are different but the underlying commonailities is the fact that we both went somewhere NEW for someone ELSE. If I could do it all again, the moment we broke up, I would of broke my lease, and left immediately, however I did not, I waited it out in the hopes she would return but she never did and that was over 10 months ago. My lease expires in roughly 41 days and I am counting the moment when this occurs so I may go contiune on my travels and not put my life on hold for anyone, anymore. If I were you, I would go back home, atleast for a few months and then decide as to what I want to do next. The people on this forum urged me to cut my losses and end all contact and give up hope, but I did not listen, and by doing this, I grew more as a person but suffered in life. I do not believe I would give up the knowledge I have gained however, in the end, what I learned was not worth the cost and if I could do it all again, I should of went away the moment the relationship ended because in reality, that was the main/real reason for my MOVE, however at the time, I convinced myself I was doing the best thing for ME, but it was not the truth so if you were to be honest with yourself, do you really want to stay in that city?? or do you really want to go back home for a little while? If you can answer that question honestly, and listen to yourself, you will make the right decision.
Author diskey23 Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 BackonTrack2- im pretty sure i want to move back home. problem is i have to get out of a lease with my roommate who found a job up there. It makes it hard to want to find a job up there when im not committed to living there. i have to go back up at least for a few weeks now & the place just reeks of hopes i had 3 months ago. If this girl wasnt absolutely gorgeous i probably wouldnt have put up with her **** as long as i did. (finished 3rd go-around in 7 years) but i supposed you grow to love someone after knowing them so long. she is a daddys girl/only-child & shows it. everything is her way or the highway after the honeymoon period is over, i promise you that.
Author diskey23 Posted January 8, 2009 Author Posted January 8, 2009 well on my way up last night she texts me to see if im 'back yet'. I didnt get back to her until today. After i responded 'yes' she replies with "A bit delayed in your response". I text her something else meaningless & never got back to me. I went from being in a good mood bc i thought she cared if i was back to now dreading that im back up here (i havent decided how long yet).
BackonTrack2 Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 thats strange.... why don't you go see her? seem like she was upset in regards to your breakup... i think maybe she wants you to be a man and disregard everything she has to say and just pretend like nothing happen. be confident
Author diskey23 Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 well i texted her on friday to see what she was doin that night she replied & asked me the same. i did the same thing last night with the same results then regrettably while drinking at a bar i asked if she wanted to come over. my buddies asked me wtf i was doing. so after an hour of no response i text her "maybe tonights not going to work", 1 second later she responds with "why not". back to NC, i give a week before she tries to get a hold of me.
Author diskey23 Posted January 18, 2009 Author Posted January 18, 2009 well a week passed & she didnt contact me. a first. 75%-ego hurting, 25%-curious what shes doing.
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