anya85 Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 So I've very recently gotten into online dating--I joined my first dating site. I've met people online before, but not through a site just for that purpose. Well, surprisingly, I got a *lot* of attention. Like more attention than I can conveinently respond too every day. There's one in particular I've taken a liking too--he just seems so enthusiastic and nice. We've spent a lot of time talking online for the past few weeks. So what's wrong? I'm worried that he's too "pretty" for me. Like he could do better. I'm not knocking myself, but this guy--from looking at his pics is very attractive. I showed my mother his pics and she agrees! She thinks he's out of my league! Not to mention this guy has an awesome job and a very expensive Mercedes! So now I'm having second thoughts about meeting him...that sounds stupid right? But I'm worried that maybe he'll be disappointed when he sees me... I mean my pictures are all very recent, but of course I picked *only the best* ones. I probably do look better in my pics than in real life--in the pics I'm always wearing make up and my best outfits--- I feel "frumpy" in every day life. I'm just not seeing how someone like this could be interested in someone like me in a real-setting. I know you'll all just say to "just meet him already and see what happens"...but that's the problem. He's never met anyone online before and seems pretty comfortable taking this at a slow pace. Not to mention I've gotten some type of skin problem going on on my face right now that may take a few weeks to clear up--a rash that appeared a week ago--but I'm going to the dermatologist tommorrow morning. What on earth do I do???
Adamagnet Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 How do you know that he even looks like his pictures? Either way, you need to get on the phone soon or things are likely to dissipate.
Meaplus3 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 I can see his point about taking it at a slow pace but do be careful here. To slow with setting up a meeting could be that he's not really ever intending to meet. I got involved with someone online once and we went back and forth with communication for many months via email and phone. He mentioned meeting but kept putting it off. Turned out he was never serious. We never did meet and I ended up hurt. Mea:)
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 It strikes me that a person so well-off that way would go out of his way to NOT speak of his high social standing or of all the trimmings. I think you're being duped by an amateur, and that if you meet him you'll likely experience an awkward evening from which you'll be trying to eradicate yourself as the minutes tick away. I think the ideal remedy is MORE TIME before meeting him... see if he ever tones down the superficial stuff and hints at having more actual substance. Good luck.
Shygirl15 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 First, no one looks exactly like their pictures. I also thought my BF was out of my league from his pictures and profile. Once you get to know one another, none of that will matter anymore. I say go for it and see what happens (sorry, I know you don't want to hear this).
eclipseIDE Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 So is that my problem with online dating? Im too good looking?
lovestruck818 Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 If he is THAT good-looking and he's dating online, that's kind of red flag right there- if he is THAT good-looking, why can't he find a date in person? Makes me wonder. Just saying.
lovestruck818 Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Also, I would be careful...the mercedes might not really be his...and no offense, who cares what kind of car someone drives? You seem a bit materialistic.
Meaplus3 Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 If he is THAT good-looking and he's dating online, that's kind of red flag right there- if he is THAT good-looking, why can't he find a date in person? Makes me wonder. Just saying. That's a real good point you make Lovestruck. Anya do be careful. How do you even know if the pictures he sent are of him? When I was speaking with a guy online he sent a few pictures and in the end he bolted with out a word. So now I tend to think the pictures were really not even of him.. but if they were he was real good looking. Mea:)
gopher Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I go along with the talk on the phone and meet sooner rather than later advice. Good luck!!
dmarisca Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 That would be a nice thing to do... take your time, talk on phone. Online dating is not really 100% perfect system to meet with someone. It's just a media to know something about a person. But by this system we can at least start a relationship.
sb129 Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Ahh.. maybe wait till your skin thing clears up and then go for a meeting IRL. That way you get to feel more confident and he gets a little more time. If he stalls then, move on! I got married last weekend to a man I met online.... and neither of us are too shabby looking. (see profile pics). We aren't all desperate ugly freaks...despite what Lovestruck would have you believe.
Mary3 Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I could be wrong but I bet this guy is no pretty boy , does not drive a Mercedes and likely will postpone the real meeting because his fantasy will be over. This is based on the internet dating and alot of the disasterous dates. But then again , you could meet him and be pleased. Ask him : How old are these pics ? Can you send one on your cell phone right now ? Any natural setting pics ? Remember to NEVER get your hopes up because historically they rarely look like their pics and tend to hide weight problems , social problems , psycho problems , still living with mommy problems . In other words alot of them are un~datable...
Shnuggles Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Go with the flo. Emails are fine but if they go on for about 2 weeks then I doubt things are going to improve. Although I dont online date these days my rule was this: 1. Test week - In the first week the person should email\reply to you at least 3-4 times. One sentence emails are not included. If people dont put in effort with email then its not worth the effort at all. 2. Talk or meet week - Use web chat, phone or even web cam. Push the communication boundary a little. If that doesnt work meet up at a cafe' for a quick coffee. You can keep the meeting as short or long as you want. By the end of this you should have a good idea of who they are. 3. End week - By at least the third week you should know each other fairly well and should meet up by this stage. You both should be excited to meet without any doubts that either of you are crazy phycos. Keep the date to a cafe' date (like above). Keep an open mind. After End Week its all good. I only got to this stage once in the year I tried online dating. Relationship was great but we ended up leaving each other due to lack of interests a year later. Still friends though!! ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, One of my ex girlfriends told me she thought I was too good for her too. I was 6 years younger, fit, tall and always seeking attention from her. She loved it. Well, she had me for 3 years and we loved every day of it. She also was the one that asked me out! Sure, she was no goddess but I found many aspects of her attractive and still miss her. Sometimes you just gotta go for it.
D-Lish Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 When I first started online dating I wasn't screening guys properly and had some bad dates. Once I got a handle on what I was doing, I started being way more discerning. I now have a screening process that hasn't failed me- at least in the looks department. I always want to see copious amounts of pictures- see them on cam, and chat for a few weeks on MSN before meeting. If something seems off- I won't agree to a meeting. I have been talking to one guy on MSN for about 8 months now. He's only sent me one pic- a blurry one from a cam. I chat with him because he is fun to talk to, but have refused a meeting until he sends me more pics. Truth be told- you can be talking to ANYONE... You just never know who you can trust.
Mary3 Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 When I first started online dating I wasn't screening guys properly and had some bad dates. Once I got a handle on what I was doing, I started being way more discerning. I now have a screening process that hasn't failed me- at least in the looks department. I always want to see copious amounts of pictures- see them on cam, and chat for a few weeks on MSN before meeting. If something seems off- I won't agree to a meeting. I have been talking to one guy on MSN for about 8 months now. He's only sent me one pic- a blurry one from a cam. I chat with him because he is fun to talk to, but have refused a meeting until he sends me more pics. Truth be told- you can be talking to ANYONE... You just never know who you can trust. Great Dlish ! I agree ...If they can't send more than one pic in 8 months they are likely hiding a weight problem , might not even BE that person in the pic , could be very fugly...Could be married. Could be a criminal . Could be anything....
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