Phone call from ex after 6 months NC...what does it mean, if anything?

[gummybear]

Back in March, I lied and cheated on my bf and so we broke up for 2 months over it. I continued to call him weekly to chat for those 2 months though and finally we got back together again and I thought it was bliss. However, it only lasted 1 month because his feelings for me weren’t the same anymore and he said he hasn’t forgiven me for lieing and cheating. Basically, he still resents me. At first I begged and begged for a few days for him to take me back but he persistently said no, so finally I gave up and told him that I will always love him but I also wholeheartedly accept the breakup because he deserves better than me.

 

But I called him for the next month or so and gave him a birthday gift and drove him to the airport and everything because I felt like it’s the least I can do after being such a bad gf, but then I went NC because I knew I had to let him go. 3 weeks after that on my birthday he called me just to say happy bday to me (first time he initiated contact to me since the breakup) and we talked for a few minutes over the phone. That was in July. I never called him after that because I wanted to move on and he hasn’t called me either. After 6 months of NC, he called me on Christmas and left me a voicemail wishing me Merry Xmas. When I heard his voice, there was still some resentment in it. It was like he didn’t really want to call me because of what I’ve done to him in the past but for some reason he called me anyway. He doesn’t talk to any of his exes, and I’ve also told him that I don’t talk to exes at all. Why did he call me? What does it mean? I know some of your answers will hurt me, but I want to hear them anyway. Thx.

[gummybear]

anyone? pls? thx

[OhWell]

he's tryna keep attached. basically black booked on a lonely night

[Crestfallen_KH]

Why don't you ask HIM??

[gummybear]

I haven't replied to his phone call...I fear talking to him might bring back emotions. If it's just a friendly phone call, I think I can live without them. But I wonder if it's possibly something more...dunno.

[kizik]

It's so hard for me to care about a cheater enough to respond. Maybe he feels the same way.

[BCCA]

I think for some people, the holidays are a time of forgiveness. You want to let go of all the resentment and bad blood from the past year, and go forward with a clean slate. If he doesnt talk to any ex's, like I dont, I dont think this means anything more than "regardless of whats happened, merry xmas".

 

The funny thing is, we all have come to this board looking for explinations of what someone means, and why they do this or that, but at the end of the day, when someone really likes you - you dont have to wonder.

 

I wouldnt take this to mean much. Maybe he doesnt hate you, but I dont feel like its much more than that.

[Crestfallen_KH]

Well, we can't read his mind either.

[californiadreaming]

I agree with some of what BCCA said. At the same time who knows what he feel. All of this is new to me. I can't figure out how one person could spend all of this time with another person, but when they break up it is almost like a game.

 

I just wish it was a easy as "Ok I or you screwed up, we're either going to call it quits for good, or Ok I or you screwed up, but I love you, and forgive you. lets talk and see what we can work out".

 

But unfortuantely it is not that way. So who knows what he feels? Should you lay your love on the line for him? idunno. That is something you have to decide for yourself. Is it worth being sent back to square root one-which you probbaly alreayd are near that from this contact- But idunno sweety, you have to think about how hard the 6 months was, and look at how far you have come.- Maybe give it sometime, and see what happens in a few weeks, maybe he will contact you again wondering why you hadn't contacted him and confessed your love.

[EmperorR]

I can't really help a cheater, but why not just ask him, what do you hve to lose?

[gummybear]

BCC - Perhaps you are right, perhaps you are not, I don't know.

 

California and Crestfallen - I agree with the two of you. Really, we have no idea what he is thinking. And lately I've come to the conclusion that I may never know but that is ok. At this stage, it is best to take it for what it is.

 

California - I like how you had me look in retrospect and definitley I think I've done better in the past 6 months. I stopped thinking bout him until he called me on Xmas. As of now, I do not feel that it is worth it to call him back, as I don't want feelings to come back moreso.

[gummybear]

I can't really help a cheater, but why not just ask him, what do you hve to lose?

 

6 months of NC has been alot for me, so if I call him again, I can lose alot of the progress I made over these past 6 months.

[californiadreaming]

You have gone along time. I honestly can not tell you what to do. You have to follow your heart. I know this all sucks for us here whether we were jerks, cheated, or whatever. Being the dumpee is no fun.

 

But it is what it is. learn from it, better yourself, and pray. Thats all I have is prayers. As the world becomes more of a horrible place all I can think of is wanting to not leave the face of the earth without my ex. So I pray. I repent, and ask the lord to forgive me for what I have done, and because I feel so strongly in my heart that she is the one, I pray for a second chance at the completion of my life.

 

Good luck-

[Crestfallen_KH]

Well, we can sit around make assumptions, but that's all they are; you know the guy better than we ever would, as strangers on a message board, so I think the only way to find out "what it all meant" is to ask him directly.

 

If you feel that would set you back, then ignore the call.

[gummybear]

It has been almost 2 weeks since he called and I've gone this long without calling him back. I've made the decision to not call back, but it annoys me that I'm second guessing myself. Someone please remind me that by calling him, I'm just setting myself back.

 

I thought I knew him well enough to think that after he called me on my birthday, that I'd never hear from him again, but he called me nonetheless. I guess I don't really know him well enough then. So I really have no idea what he is thinking. I'm veering towards the side that he was just making a friendly phone call to say Merry Xmas and that's it, which is the reason why I'm telling myself to just ignore it. I'm annoyed.

[againstallodds]

Gummybear,

 

 

I think your ex still love you but he can't forgave you for cheating. People don't just call for nothing. I don't think he'll ever forgive you though. It've been six months. If you want to get back with him I think you should write him a letter explain again that you're really sorry and you want to work things out and explain how you will make the relationship better. It's a crap shoot but I think it's your only chance. Breakup involve cheating is hard to get a second chance.

 

Good luck