Kripta Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 My best friend and I have been close for several years; since we can remember. I never noticed it as much before, but since we have been grown I have noticed that he harbors some resentment and seems to be a little bit jealous of me, some of the things I do, etc. Women is a big issue between us as well as other things. He is not particularly good looking (not being mean, just being honest) and was never really good with women. He was always friends with the girls, which is how I got to date so many of them. I have known forever that he wants kids and I have kids and sometimes I think that creates problems. I don't bring my kids around him to the point that he has rarely seen them over their lives and they are starting middle school this year. He has always become friends with my ex-girlfriends. This has been true since high school. As a matter of fact, anyone who I don't particularly like, he becomes friends with. Anything that I am doing he doesn't really participate in or really ask about. He never gives me any advice on any troubled relationships or any other real life problems that I am having. The thing about him is he does always want me around though. He ask me to come around and hang out all the time and if I don't he does seem to be sad and/or upset. Don't get me wrong, we do have fun when we are together, and we do talk about his problems, and life, and goals, etc. I am not sure if this is just normal or if I should start to finally separate myself from him. I don't know if his jealousy will finally take over and he will end up doing something to seriously hurt me (not physically of course). To be honest I just don't trust him. Has anyone else ever felt this way about someone who was supposed to be your best friend? Am I crazy? Am I just being paranoid and overreacting? I see other people with their best friend and they talk about each other behind each other's backs and all types of stuff that I just don't have the time and effort for. My so-called best friend is a good guy at heart and I do love him (as a brother, man-to-man) but I am not sure if he will ever change or if I can ever really trust him. Does anyone have any advice?
You'reasian Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Time for you and your buddy to go out, grab a beer and watch a game/match! We guys don't really talk at the same level as we see women do; we just kinda nod our heads and talk about things at the moment. If your buddy has your back and you've got his, that's all you need - everything else is marginal.
Author Kripta Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 Time for you and your buddy to go out, grab a beer and watch a game/match! We guys don't really talk at the same level as we see women do; we just kinda nod our heads and talk about things at the moment. If your buddy has your back and you've got his, that's all you need - everything else is marginal. Why can't guys talk like women or be honest? I am not sure, but I think just grabbing a beer just complicates the problem but doesn't solve it.
ferraridave Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I think you need to straight-up call your friend out on it. particularly at a time when he does one of the things you are complaining about or when you feel that he is resenting you or not happy something good happened to you. u kinda made a mistake letting it get this far, u shouldve nipped this in the butt when u first noticed it. tell him exactly how u feel, then give him an ultimatum. either he grows up and stops blaming you for his shortcomings, or you will no longer give him the opportunity to by not being his friend again. Either your friendship will become stronger then ever, and youll finally have your bro back, or the friendship will die, and youll be better off for it. you dont need (or want) someone like that in your life anyway.
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