sheila12 Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 hello my name is shelia and am having a hard time with my boyfreind ex. i have been dating my boyfreind for about a year now and his ex keeps trying to get in contact with him. They broke up just before we met, and they have been dating for four years, She is now gone to another country and hasn't moved on. And it's putting pressure on our fairly new Relationship. I know my boyfreind loves me and he hasn't got a mean bone in his body so whenever she calls he is nice to her. I don't know what to do, because am falling in love with him as each day is passing. Any advice would highly be appreciated xx
Nevaeh26 Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 yea thats gonna be a hard situation for awhile..well atleast till your b.f keeps talking to her. Now i now how it feels to break up with someone after 4 years and still talk to them but let me tell you the intentions werent just to "see how they were doing". My intentions were to see if he still loved me and who he was dating so on and so forth.. What you need to do is tell him to keep his contact w. her to a minimum and conversations super short because since they were together for a long time they still have that emotional attachment and you dont want him falling for her again.
Author sheila12 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 hey thanks for your advice. there are times when i think maybe he is in love with her still but i dont know for sure. am willing to fight for him but i dont want to be taking for a fool. everything he has done so far suggest that its me he wants to be with. i have spoken to him about it and since then we haven't got aphone call. well all i can do is wait and see what happens. once again thanks for the advice x
AlektraClementine Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I had an issue similar to this at the beginning of my relationship. He was friends with her for 6 years and together for about 2. There was quite a bit of time in between her and me though. She called like crazy for a while and usually when she was drunk. I finally told BF the following: There is a reason she keeps calling you. There is also a reason you keep answering her calls If you have unfinished business, go take care of it. If not, than this needs to be curbed. I love you and I trust you but I think it's just bad business to stay in close contact with an ex. A few conversations here and there are fine, and it's impossible to avoid run ins with each other about town. Just be honest with me and let me know when things like this happen and we'll never have a problem. But she's not gonna stop calling all the time unless you stop picking up the phone so much. End of discussion. This is YOUR relationship now. Take control of it.
Author sheila12 Posted January 8, 2009 Author Posted January 8, 2009 hey things have been alot better since i had told him how i feel. it still doesnt stop her from calling, and trying to break us up. she is now trying to get in contact with his family and freinds and trying to find out about us. she wants to try and cause much trouble so i can take it out on my bf, am pyschology student and see what she is trying to do but i dont know how to deal with her.
AlektraClementine Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 ignore her. that's it. she wants attention? don't give it to her. You can't control her actions. Nor the actions of his family or even him. at least with him you can lay some ground rules and establish consequences.
Author sheila12 Posted January 8, 2009 Author Posted January 8, 2009 ignore her. that's it. she wants attention? don't give it to her. You can't control her actions. Nor the actions of his family or even him. at least with him you can lay some ground rules and establish consequences. hey am going to do that, she is a waste of space and not worth. but once again thanks for the advice x
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