Jet_A_Fuel Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Hi, this is my first time posting. I looked around allot on this forum but didn't see anything that is related to my question. Okay, so here is my situation. My girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago back in late November. We have been a couple for at-least 5 months. We had a very good relationship. She loved me and I loved her etc. It did not end on a sour note for both of us. Basically what happened is she just needed some space to reevaluate some things in her life. So its not like I did anything majorly wrong. Back in December, I was with my brother and his wife doing some christmas shopping at the mall. While I was there, in the corner of my eye I noticed someone that looked familiar to me. It was my ex. I did not walk up to her and say hi. I decided it was best not to do anything and just continue with my day and not walk up to her. Since we have broken up we do occasionally email to each other, but not that often. Just talking about how each of us are doing, if there's anything new, stuff like. After the holidays, I sent her an email just asking how her holiday went. She replied, told me it was boring and etc. But at the end of her email she said "P.S.- I thought I saw Joe at the mall." Joe is my brother who I was with at the mall that I told you about previously. I replied and said that "you did see him at the mall because I know, I was there". My ex replied back talking more about her holiday and then at the end of her email she said "let me get this straight, did you see me at the mall?" I replied and told her I did see her. I am not sure if I should have told her, but I did. My question is did she show me her cards? Did she show me what she is feeling about me? I need some help figuring out what she is feeling? A) She really does not have feelings for me, but was curious if i saw her or not. or B)She still does have some feeling for me, and was curious that if I saw her or not. or C)Any other explanation that you guys can come up with. Thanks for all your help and have good day!
Geishawhelk Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Hi, this is my"let me get this straight, did you see me at the mall?" I replied and told her I did see her. I am not sure if I should have told her, but I did. Shouldn't have told her..... A) She really does not have feelings for me, but was curious if i saw her or not. or B)She still does have some feeling for me, and was curious that if I saw her or not. or C)Any other explanation that you guys can come up with. She frankly can't believe that you actually saw her and didn't have the courtesy or politeness to at least say "hi" given that you two have actually been in touch.
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 dude..............i was on the receiving end of that kind of behaviour about a month ago...............i know everyone here says NC.............but for God's sake.............knowing someone that long and apparently caring for them the way you do.............and not having the decency to say hello? i can tell you that from where i was standing, my ex actually doubled back in the opposite direction with his tail between his legs. what a rotten feeling. you shouldn't have told her, especially if it seemed she didn't see you................my guess is, she wouldn't have mentioned she saw your brother at the mall, unless she also saw you there and wondered why you ignored her. you've just walked into that situation. have fun trying to dig yourself out
BCCA Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Sounds like shes just irked that even though you saw her, you didnt want to say hi. Truth be told, I wouldnt have either, but you didnt have to mention it. I have to ask, why are you emailing her back and forth at all? Are you really ok with just being friends? Because if you are, then you probably wouldve walked up and said hi if you saw her. Sounds to me like youre hoping that eventually she'll come around and ask you back. I dont think shes feeling anything deep. Like I said, she probably feels good that youre ok with being her friend (even though thats probably not what you want), and so it was a shock to her that you didnt want to say hi. I dont think it has anything to do with being decent, if you dont want to say hi - dont. But letting her know was kind of unneccesary.
Author Jet_A_Fuel Posted January 5, 2009 Author Posted January 5, 2009 I have to ask, why are you emailing her back and forth at all? Are you really ok with just being friends? Because if you are, then you probably wouldve walked up and said hi if you saw her. Sounds to me like youre hoping that eventually she'll come around and ask you back. Here is how I feel and what I say to myself. "I don't need her but I want her." What I mean is I decided that I don't need her in my life, I can live without her. But I do want her in my life to some extent. I am not sitting around waiting and hoping she is going to come back to me. I am moving on. I already found a nice new girl that I might start dating. So I am not holding onto my ex. Why I didn't say hi to her is just basically because there was so much going on in that very moment and seeing her through me off guard, and I didn't have the time to think about it and make a wise decision at that very moment. But letting her know was kind of unnecessary I realized that after the fact I told her. All I can say is I learn my lesson and will never do that again.
samspade Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 You blew it a little. But don't worry about it. So you didn't say hello, big deal. The fact that you are avoiding her in public and analyzing her emails suggests that you want her back. If you truly don't need her (and you shouldn't "need" anybody) then why are you afraid to say hello? I already found a nice new girl that I might start dating. Well then, ask her out already. You should have some options and forget your ex. You should be too busy having fun with girls who want to date you to go back and forth on email with your ex. Like I said, she probably feels good that youre ok with being her friend (even though thats probably not what you want), and so it was a shock to her that you didnt want to say hi. Exactly.
BCCA Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 I don't need her but I want her To me, what youre really saying is that you know that you wont drop dead without her, but that you still want her back in your life. And dont lie to yourself, its not in some capacity, its as your girlfriend. Do you want her calling and asking for advice about a guy she's dating? Because thats what friends do. What I think youre doing is although you realize shes called it off, youre kind of looking back at the closed door to see if it reopens. Why not close that chapter of your life, from your side, and dont even consider it an option anymore. Go out with this new girl, and if it doesnt work with her either, find someone else. Dont let someone who walked out on you have any impact on your life or start making you feel obligated to do anything. I know why you didnt say hi, because I wouldnt have, either.
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