Brayden Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Hi guys, 1st post for me so here we go. So I was with my ex for 4yrs. Find out she’s been cheating on me for an entire year with a few guys. I never knew she had facebook but that’s what exposed so much of her lies, basically leading a double life, which I was totally unaware of as I trusted her 100% and never thought twice that she'd b up to no good. Clubbing every weekend saying she’s working back late and can’t c me as an excuse but getting drunk meeting guys instead etc. Putting herself out there as if shes single. No holding back. Anyway 2 months ago i came across her facebook (which I never knew she had) which exposed her lifestyle. I broke up with her, I didnt have proof she cheated but I had proof she was dating guys, showing interest etc and her lifestyle. She denied and swore of my life and her parents life that she never cheated on me, she said she wasnt interested in those guys and they just went out but nothing happened, no sex etc. After the break up I didn’t talk to her for 4 wks then I find proof she did have sex with more than 1 guy. Everything just made sense, her working back late, I find out some nights she didnt wanna see me cos she wanted to stay over another guys place and that she'd had sex with me just after she'd had sex with another guy (within the hour). I ask to c her to talk about it and show her the proof I had but she refused and continued to deny it saying she could never do that because she loved me. I realise now those words mean nothing to her. I said "i know u had sex with another guy, her reply was "what was his name?" hahaha that was such a dead giveaway that there was more than 1, she wanted to know which guy im talkin about. I didnt want to tell her what proof I had because she would hang up the phone and make up some excuse, i wanted to see her in person, seems any proof I have she denies it. At that point I had broken the no contact rule because I wanted to show her the proof. After her refusal to see me I had so much anger. I just wanted to cut down her arrogance with this proof. It was hard at 1st but now I've accepted to let it go and move on without this closure. Since then she’s continuously called etc. left me messages saying she loves me and I’m the only one for her etc.. Then on her facebook I see pictures of her all over some guy on the same night that she'd left the voice message. Its been another 4weeks since I tried to contact her. But 8 wks since the break up This is the most pain I've ever been through, I’m over the hardest stage. But I’m having a problem completely moving on. I don’t miss her because I realised that how can I miss someone who never really existed? She wasn’t what I thought she was..My anger is still there but to a lesser degree..The problem now is that I can’t seem to stop looking at her facebook. I last for a few days but then I screw up and take a look and it hurts to c what she’s up too. I don’t have facebook myself but she has an open account so I can see hers. I hate facebook because of this..lol anyway I normaly have good self control but in this instance it’s not good enough. I still do think about what she’s done and find myself at times in disbelief. I've moved past the revenge phase, I don’t want that. I just want to move on. But it’s hard when it’s possible to see what’s going on in her life. and seeing her so happy after what she’s done while she sends me messages saying how unhappy she is hurts..shes obviously just lying and even if she was telling the truth I wouldn’t want her.. I know she just wants attention and I refuse to give it to her.. so guys sorry I typed so much but 1 question, how do I control myself? Ive racked my brain, im a very rational person but I guess I just need reassurance because im doing my best, I guess there’s not much more than that one can do..
Joker77 Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Hi guys, 1st post for me so here we go. So I was with my ex for 4yrs. Find out she’s been cheating on me for an entire year with a few guys. I never knew she had facebook but that’s what exposed so much of her lies, basically leading a double life, which I was totally unaware of as I trusted her 100% and never thought twice that she'd b up to no good. Clubbing every weekend saying she’s working back late and can’t c me as an excuse but getting drunk meeting guys instead etc. Putting herself out there as if shes single. No holding back. Anyway 2 months ago i came across her facebook (which I never knew she had) which exposed her lifestyle. I broke up with her, I didnt have proof she cheated but I had proof she was dating guys, showing interest etc and her lifestyle. She denied and swore of my life and her parents life that she never cheated on me, she said she wasnt interested in those guys and they just went out but nothing happened, no sex etc. After the break up I didn’t talk to her for 4 wks then I find proof she did have sex with more than 1 guy. Everything just made sense, her working back late, I find out some nights she didnt wanna see me cos she wanted to stay over another guys place and that she'd had sex with me just after she'd had sex with another guy (within the hour). I ask to c her to talk about it and show her the proof I had but she refused and continued to deny it saying she could never do that because she loved me. I realise now those words mean nothing to her. I said "i know u had sex with another guy, her reply was "what was his name?" hahaha that was such a dead giveaway that there was more than 1, she wanted to know which guy im talkin about. I didnt want to tell her what proof I had because she would hang up the phone and make up some excuse, i wanted to see her in person, seems any proof I have she denies it. At that point I had broken the no contact rule because I wanted to show her the proof. After her refusal to see me I had so much anger. I just wanted to cut down her arrogance with this proof. It was hard at 1st but now I've accepted to let it go and move on without this closure. Since then she’s continuously called etc. left me messages saying she loves me and I’m the only one for her etc.. Then on her facebook I see pictures of her all over some guy on the same night that she'd left the voice message. Its been another 4weeks since I tried to contact her. But 8 wks since the break up This is the most pain I've ever been through, I’m over the hardest stage. But I’m having a problem completely moving on. I don’t miss her because I realised that how can I miss someone who never really existed? She wasn’t what I thought she was..My anger is still there but to a lesser degree..The problem now is that I can’t seem to stop looking at her facebook. I last for a few days but then I screw up and take a look and it hurts to c what she’s up too. I don’t have facebook myself but she has an open account so I can see hers. I hate facebook because of this..lol anyway I normaly have good self control but in this instance it’s not good enough. I still do think about what she’s done and find myself at times in disbelief. I've moved past the revenge phase, I don’t want that. I just want to move on. But it’s hard when it’s possible to see what’s going on in her life. and seeing her so happy after what she’s done while she sends me messages saying how unhappy she is hurts..shes obviously just lying and even if she was telling the truth I wouldn’t want her.. I know she just wants attention and I refuse to give it to her.. so guys sorry I typed so much but 1 question, how do I control myself? Ive racked my brain, im a very rational person but I guess I just need reassurance because im doing my best, I guess there’s not much more than that one can do.. Dude, Stop doing it. It just keeps opening the wound back up again. I was doing this for a couple weeks after my break up over a month ago. I would go on her myspace and I saw that she hadn't had a chance to update her photo. It was still of the both of us together. It's just not worth it. It's like the old saying "curiosity killed the cat". That's basically what checking on her does to you. It kills you a little more each time. Anytime you feel the need to do that, do something productive. Go workout, read a book, whatever. Just don't check on her anymore. It will just eat you up inside and you won't heal.
kizik Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 So I was with my ex for 4yrs. Find out she’s been cheating on me for an entire year with a few guys. Whoa. If it were me I'd have to restrain myself from doing something terrible to myself, her, or both of us. Anyway, you should probably hate this troll for the rest of eternity. The problem now is that I can’t seem to stop looking at her facebook. She already allowed herself to be the town wh*re, and essentially betrayed you the worst way someone could, and you are now going to torture yourself further by looking at her FB? I say cut and run. This awful gnome of a female doesn't deserve a second thought. PS. Trolls and gnomes rule!
cabarc1 Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Everyone is right. I'm having trouble spying on my ex. I have a key to get into his house and everytime i leave there.....i leave depressed as hell. You just need to remind urself "do i want to ruin my happiness today?" You will never heal aslong as you do that. She's a liar and that makes her a horrible person. Whatever u do, don't move on too quickly, take ur time and do things that make you happy for now. I've FINALLY started to quit going to my ex's. It's so hard but it's not worth it because doing it isn't gonna change anything!
calculus Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 She's not even worth a second thought if she's just laying it out there for the next guy and then comes to you. If you don't have a facebook account, just stop looking her up. She doesn't even try to keep her facebook page hidden so it's not like she was trying to hide her extra curricular activities from you. Forget about her. And try to make sure she didn't give you a "gift that keeps on giving", if you know what I mean since the cat is out of the bag. If you do happen to have a facebook account, have a friend change your password for you.
emotionalydistraugt Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Block her page. Put a parental block on it make the password oiwnfkldsnfkdnal and forget about it. It's hard as hell not to do because I'm going through the same thing. Girlfriend of 3 years here and she went around telling everyone we werent together so she could justify making out with this other guy. I was looking at her facebook and myspace everyday waiting to see when she would sign on. It wasn't healthy. I blocked her from both. I stopped looking because all it does is keeps reminding you of her, then ou think about the good times you had, then where did it all go wrong, then you remeber what she did, and finally you think about what she's doing now, whether or not she's happy. I go through this daily but it was a lot worse before I deleted her from my life. I've gone a week and a half no contact (two in a half if you don't count the christmas call) and I feel i'm doing better just not as good as what I want to be doing. Try to keep her out of your life as much as possible so you can move on with the life you're suppost to have
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