Author hellp12234 Posted January 5, 2009 Author Posted January 5, 2009 well, I tried to see how many friends he has but that option is not available for his facebook. I did notice that we do have four mutual friends including his sister.
Tomcat33 Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 To Whichwayisup: do you really think that he would reject my request? I mean I am his sister's friend on facebook and we have 4 mutual friends. And, I mean he did give me some school related advice that night, so I was thinking to just thank him for the advice and say that it was nice to meet him. Well then why don't you just send him a message instead? You don't have to add him to make conversation. Adding someone you barely know is really putting them on the spot, you can still contact them and not put them in the awkward spot. By the interaction on there you'll be able to know how receptive he is. Your conversation in person was flat at best so let's hope you get a better vibe from him online.
Bells Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Facebook is a networking service' date=' so if you guys are studying the same thing it could be good to add him.[/quote'] There ya go, good enough excuse. Man, everyone gets creeped out on here too easily. Cripes she talked to him, talked about their subject that they've studied....I say that's familiarization enough to justify a friends request.
BaD_Day Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 what the hell is the big deal? just add him. Be normal, it's not like you're gonna go out once you add him, be like "hey, it's meeee, I saw you at _____, add me". I bet you he'll add you if you just copy down what I just wrote.
Star Gazer Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Well then why don't you just send him a message instead? You don't have to add him to make conversation. Adding someone you barely know is really putting them on the spot, you can still contact them and not put them in the awkward spot. By the interaction on there you'll be able to know how receptive he is. Your conversation in person was flat at best so let's hope you get a better vibe from him online. I couldn't agree more. Adding people of the opposite sex you don't really know... It's always been creepy to me.
whichwayisup Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 To Whichwayisup: do you really think that he would reject my request? I mean I am his sister's friend on facebook and we have 4 mutual friends. And, I mean he did give me some school related advice that night, so I was thinking to just thank him for the advice and say that it was nice to meet him. I don't know. There's always a possibility of someone saying no to a friendship request. Do what TC suggested, send him a message through facebook and see what he says back. Who knows, maybe he'll add you as a friend afterwards.
Bells Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 I couldn't agree more. Adding people of the opposite sex you don't really know... It's always been creepy to me. Oh, the fact that they are the OPPOSITE sex makes it creepy. Well, I guess heterosexuals are out of luck. To Whichwayisup: do you really think that he would reject my request? I mean I am his sister's friend on facebook and we have 4 mutual friends. And, I mean he did give me some school related advice that night, so I was thinking to just thank him for the advice and say that it was nice to meet him. Look at this, all the more reason....there's a close knit network here already.
Star Gazer Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Look at this, all the more reason....there's a close knit network here already. Not amongst EVERYONE. Just because SOME members are close does not mean that you, or anyone else here, is a part of that close-knit group.
whichwayisup Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Look at this, all the more reason....there's a close knit network here already. So what if they have mutual friends. Still doesn't mean that he HAS to accept the friendship request. People do have a choice to say yes or no, I just asked her how SHE may feel IF he refuses it and says no to the request.
Bells Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Not amongst EVERYONE. Just because SOME members are close does not mean that you, or anyone else here, is a part of that close-knit group. Well, might as well take action to get something started then.
Tomcat33 Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Oh, the fact that they are the OPPOSITE sex makes it creepy. YES it does actually. Because unlike how we can deal with being approached by complete a stranger on the street or out and about and we can control how much of ourselves we wish to disclose to a stranger, on FB if you add someone you don't know they pretty much get to see everything you have on display that you typically share with friends. some people are more territorial about their profiles on FB and not to mention we are on there full names and pictures and whereabouts in terms of where we hang out in our photos and who we hang out with etc. TMI for a stranger, especially some guy I have never seen before. Guess you have to be a woman to appreciate that? It's like leaving your front door open and assuming no one will walk in to the privacy of your home even if people were all good willed in their intentions some of us like to have our own privacy.
Bells Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 So what if they have mutual friends. Still doesn't mean that he HAS to accept the friendship request. People do have a choice to say yes or no, I just asked her how SHE may feel IF he refuses it and says no to the request. Right, all they can do is refuse it...I'm just saying I see no harm in taking action of doing a friends request.
Star Gazer Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Well, might as well take action to get something started then. There have been LS members here who have attempted to start up offline relationships with members, thinking that because they were kind in a post that some sort of romantic intent was behind it. You remind me of said members. Right, all they can do is refuse it...I'm just saying I see no harm in taking action of doing a friends request. Yes, there is. You can appear CREEPY, and ruin any shot you have. If you want to correspond with someone, send them a message. Don't cyptically ask to me their online friend without more. It's weird.
Bells Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 There have been LS members here who have attempted to start up offline relationships with members, thinking that because they were kind in a post that some sort of romantic intent was behind it. You remind me of said members. Yes, there is. You can appear CREEPY, and ruin any shot you have. If you want to correspond with someone, send them a message. Don't cyptically ask to me their online friend without more. It's weird. That's they have a Friends request along WITH the option to send a short note actually, such a message can be typed there.
IrishCarBomb Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 There have been LS members here who have attempted to start up offline relationships with members, thinking that because they were kind in a post that some sort of romantic intent was behind it. You remind me of said members. True, but that's really not the OP's situation. In her situation, I don't see why there's any hesitation at all to add him. They study the same thing, go to the same school, have mutual friends, and she wants to pursue for more. For students today, that's more than enough to be a reasonable facebook request. I see no good reason why she shouldn't add him. That said, I don't think being facebook friends means much for the OP. You'll still be in the same dilemma: you need to find some way to connect with him to initiate a dating relationship.
Bells Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Okay, it seems to me that Facebook Allows this kind of thing, so thus if the function is there, you have the option to use it, and not be judged as "creepy" for doing so. Apparently has labeled people as "Creepy" by allowing such a feature on their site. What if social networking sites did not even exist? Sounds like these sites are causing more harm than good. Actions that this site allows is apparently judging others characters immediately and with haste. Whateve happened to "Never hurts to ask, the worst that could happen is that they say no"? But apparently people get offended for even asking. They study the same thing, go to the same school, have mutual friends, and she wants to pursue for more. For students today, that's more than enough to be a reasonable facebook request. I see no good reason why she shouldn't add him.Exactly, glad something thinks like I do....this is enough to justify adding without even thinking about it actually, but you have to think that the OP is thinking twice about it because people will think her ill for doing so. Who cares what other people think. Unfortunately we live in the "United States of the Offended".
whichwayisup Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 I'm just saying I see no harm in taking action of doing a friends request. Neither do I. But as long as she is OK with what happens because he could say no. I asked if she could handle it and how she would feel if he rejected the friend request, as far as I know, she hasn't answered that one yet.
Author hellp12234 Posted January 5, 2009 Author Posted January 5, 2009 To IrishCarBomb: We study the same thing but don't go to the same school. Does that make any difference? By the way, thank you to everyone for your input.
Funkymonkey Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Go ahead add him. What do you have to lose. I'm a guy and I wouldn't mind at all if a girl I met at a party the night earlier added me.
d0ll Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 I say write him a message first & then see if actually remembers you & adds you
kashmir Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 I couldn't agree more. Adding people of the opposite sex you don't really know... It's always been creepy to me. Guys adding girls they don't know is creepy. Girls adding guys - not really creepy. That's why I say go for it. I get adds by girls I've seen once or twice but never really knew. It doesn't bother me, and usually I'm not romantically interested in them, so it's not like I add them thinking I'll get somewhere with them.
Star Gazer Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Guys adding girls they don't know is creepy. Girls adding guys - not really creepy. That's why I say go for it. I get adds by girls I've seen once or twice but never really knew. It doesn't bother me, and usually I'm not romantically interested in them, so it's not like I add them thinking I'll get somewhere with them. I actually agree with you. I think I was focused on Bells' repeated attempts to add people on MS and FB he barely knows, followed quickly by, "You single?"
kashmir Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 I remember I once got an add by this girl in Buffalo, hours and hours away from me. No idea how she found me. I asked her if I knew her, she said that she just friended me because she thought I was hot. Can't say I was disturbed or creeped out, only flattered, especially since she was pretty herself. Now, when I log into facebook, at least every week I'll see her name in the news feed saying she's in a relationship with a different guy. LOL.
Confusedalways Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Definitely add him!! It has become REALLY ok in the past i'd say year for fb stalking to become accepted. I add some people in some classes that i've only said hi to, and wrote on their wall and have become friends with them. People our age don't find this stuff creepy anymore! I can't even count the number of times where i've heard or been in conversations where it starts off with "so I was looking at you facebook..." Add him!! Without a doubt.
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