SMiLE4U Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Hey everyone! This is my first post, I was really excited when I discovered this site! LOL Well let's see, my best friend of 4 years, acts strange when I in the presence of his girlfriend, they have been together for 18 months. When they got together he kept her away from me and my other friends, male and female for a good few weeks. I wasn't nerved by that, but when I think about it , he did that with his previous girlfriend also! It didn't bother me at all, I know they wanted their time together, alone, but it seems like he keeps his current girlfriend "hidden away" from his friends and especially me. He's extremely possessive of her, as well as me, his jealously rates are pretty up there. :oHe seemed to have suspicions of me before I was aware that they got together, but I had no right to be offended, or so I thought. I actually met her first, and I would talk about her and talk about how cool she was. I made friends with her on this site I used to use called Myspace, then I noticed that he added her as well, my instinct told me to be alarmed, but I thought that I was certain that he would be loyal, like a best friend should. But anyone could tell me this, "Well, you never told him that you liked her," True, I agree, I didn't tell him because I was uncertain and my interest wasn't at all intense at the time. I didn't fall for her so hard, it was too early. She would ask me questions about him, somewhat regarding his history and mileage. I told her that he was good pal, loyal comrade and hilarious wild man! His humor has probably molded our friendship for most of the 4 years, what a funny bastard LOL I know this guy and sometimes he gives me the strong impression that he is really insecure and irrational when he loses an argument or simple confrontation. When he told me that they were dating, it seemed like a confession. My reply was something, :cool:"yeah that's cool, man, she's a very nice girl."-in a very respectful manner, not over-the-top or anything. Then he said, "yeah, we actually got together two weeks ago but we kept it secret" -giving me the impression that he realy said, "Yeah, I didn't trust you so I kept it a secret so you wouldn't steal her away from me." Sometimes she gives me a look that says, "I'm sorry, but I chose him over you." -its usually accompanied with an uncomfortable smile/grin. And I'm like ":cool: I don't care anymore, I've moved on once he told me that you guys were a couple! It's been 18 months, c'mon now do I look like a guy who would steal my best friend's girlfriend? On most occasions, when we are at his apartment, he pats her shoulder or puts his hand on her shoulder whenever she laughs out loud to one of my jokes. It's as if he's reminding her: "REMEMBER WHO YOU BELONG TO" That is really offending and women aren't items! You gotta be kidding me! I am probably the most self-conscious guy regarding loyalty and fidelity, it is strongly WIELDED into my belief system." This whole thing about me being offended by his distrust has strongly influenced my thoughts about ENDING our friendship. She isn't like a stunning beauty or anything, :sick:but not ugly, she's moderately cute and I was really happy for him. Her personality seems really sweet and understanding. I barely talk to her, and barely never even think about her, he never talks about her, because he's really POSSESSIVE of her. My "best friend" doesn't trust me, this is one of my worst fears in friendships COME TRUE I really respect this guy, I've met all of his family and they accept me as one of their own. 4 years of laughter and understanding. He knows me, and I know him. He knows that I'm big on trust, but yet, he falls so short in trusting me. Okay, so I'm really SURE that he DOESN'T trust ME. So what should I do next?
Jada Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Well if he doesn't trust you he certainly doesn't trust anyone else. I'm not big on possesive guys not my thing and wouldn't go out with them. Okay so your thinking of ending the relationship which is fine but have you thought about having a chat with him first to see where you stand in the friendship, better to communicate and find out the facts.
Recommended Posts