starzphalling Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Ok so been here for two weeks give or take, and i've noticed a trend in the breakups. a lot tend to happen prior to incoming changes. like how my ex broke up with me right as i was getting ready to move closer, another on here right before a planned cruise, seen a few prior to moving in with one another, etc. now my question is, do you guys think this happens out of fear of change more or less than the person realizing that the feelings just weren't that strong/serious? or any other reason that i haven't come up with in my own head.
Gere51 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Mine happened when my ex's mother decided to move her business from Texas to Washington, D.C. As a single Mom, she depended on her mother a lot, and it did cause her a great deal of anxiety. Instead of leaning on me for support she broke it off, and had this "desperate" tone to her voice as she did it. I noticied that about a month before the break-up she started taking anti-depressants as she was prone to panic attacks. I really feel as if this was a factor in our split.
emotionalydistraugt Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I'd say mine was a mixture of me being at college and pressures from both me and my family to get married. She wasn't ready for it so she looked for an excuse to get out of it I think. And that meant cheating on me. Sometimes I think people just can't get over the fact that life moves fast and they try to stay in their comfort zone instead of experiencing new things
Riffmeister General Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Certain element of truth to that, I think. I think for me, she was having feelings for another guy as I'd been away for 5 months. She had to choose, but coming out here was massively moving out of her comfort zone, which she has always been in - same job since school, lives at home still, same group of friends going to the same places all the time, never been on holiday without either family or friends - being with me meant being dragged out of that comfort zone; being with the other guy meant 'keeping it in the family' so to speak (not literally!), and it felt safer for her. So yeah, a huge cognitive shift freaked her out. That's one of my latest theories, and it's just that a theory.
EmperorR Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 I'd say mine was a mixture of me being at college and pressures from both me and my family to get married. She wasn't ready for it so she looked for an excuse to get out of it I think. And that meant cheating on me. Sometimes I think people just can't get over the fact that life moves fast and they try to stay in their comfort zone instead of experiencing new things Exactly like mine, my ex cheated on me and dumped me and then I was told by a mutual friend because she didn't want to get married so soon, even though she was the one who brought it up all the time.
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