starzphalling Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Ok so I'm gonna lean on you guys here. I'm not calling my ex to vent: he's who I normally lean on for help. Stupid things are happening in my life that are making me want to take out a bunch of pedestrians before I drive myself off a cliff. I really want to call him, but I am resisting the urges, and it is not easy right now. Someone tell me that things can't keep going wrong, and eventually I'll run out of things bad to happen. I mean you can't keep falling forever you'll hit the ground eventually right? Cause right now I feel like one after another things are just falling on me like a mile of huge dominoes squishing me into the ground until I can't get myself out. I need something good to happen real soon....or I don't know...everything sucks....A LOT!
saturnfell Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 It's overwhelming right now, but things will turn.
You'reasian Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Ok so I'm gonna lean on you guys here. I'm not calling my ex to vent: he's who I normally lean on for help. Stupid things are happening in my life that are making me want to take out a bunch of pedestrians before I drive myself off a cliff. I really want to call him, but I am resisting the urges, and it is not easy right now. Someone tell me that things can't keep going wrong, and eventually I'll run out of things bad to happen. I mean you can't keep falling forever you'll hit the ground eventually right? Cause right now I feel like one after another things are just falling on me like a mile of huge dominoes squishing me into the ground until I can't get myself out. I need something good to happen real soon....or I don't know...everything sucks....A LOT! Enjoy
IcemanJB Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Here picture this: A freezing rain/ice storm last night hit the city I live in. Now imagine a group of 22/23 year olds walking down icy as hell sidewalks to the bars. Then suddenly the person at the front of the group decides to stop and wait for the crosswalk signal on the next cycle, but everyone behind can't stop in time because of the ice. This equals a giant cluster**** of a pile of people lol. About half of us fell on our asses, and I laughed at those that did. Karma strikes swiftly after, and I biff while crossing the busy street, to the horns of amused drivers. Ok, hopefully that made you at least smile. My only advice is to just keep your chin up and roll with the punches. Things always get better and we find out what kind of person we are when things absolutely suck.
Author starzphalling Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 saturn - thx you better be right, or im sneaking alex tribec steroids and sending him after you. asian - you are sick sick person! but that made me laugh just from seeing the title lol ice - lol is it bad that i see it in my head in cartoon form?
californiadreaming Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Take a step out of your body and look at what has all went wrong(so you feel) look at what caused the problems, and find your part in it. From there you take time to build yourself up. One thing I have always been told is that GOD will never give you more then you can handle. I was/am a firm believer of this but 3-8 months ago you couldn't tell me that. You couldn't tell me that a month ago and make me believe it. There was a point in my life where it seemed that everything in my life was SH** - Honestly it felt like that all through out my 20's. I have always been known to not be able to hold a job, but from 22 until now it really has been bad. My 20's highlight was the age of 21. I was working, just turned 21, just got out of a 1 year relationship that was horrible, and that I did not shed 1 tear for. I had all of my so called friends to party with, and life was good. But by the time I turned 22 I met my ex, worked a total of 2 1/2 years out of the 5 years of us being together, and honestly depended on her for everything. I mean everything. Well with in the past year in a half I haven't been able to find work. Before I'd be off for 2 or 3 months at a time, and find something. Well not this time, and slowly but shortly my life begin to crumble, 1 week after being out of work my car broke down(and I have a newer luxury car) 2500 to fix it. I had maybe 1600 saved, who helped, you guess right.- Then my G-Ma moves in and I am forced to move outdoors in the garage, at this time I am giving looking for work 50%, interviewing like crazy, sending out 50-100 resumes a day, and nothing. I basically then turned to drugs.. I actually lost my job because of drugs. So I started using heavenly. Taking what was left of my unemployment money and getting coke, I went from okay I am giving up Smirnoff Blue Label 100 proof vodka(I was drinking a half a pint a day) about 6 months into being unemployed to drinking 4 tall boys or 32 oz bud ices. And slowly but shortly, my life fell, my friends started showing true colors, truly not appreciating me because I wasn't doing anything to better me, I got depressed, filled voids with sex, drugs, and every other self mistreatment you can think of. I became paranoid, started thinking about death, and being afraid to die. & all along I was asking myself the same thing, why is all of this happening to me? - Well after 27 years of living(28 next Sunday) I spent half of them lost. That half is the 2nd half. - I have had a near death experience, std's, and many wake up calls but nothing to make me want to REALLY change. On November 24th 2008- I realize why all of this had happen to me. I was tired of it. I hated being paranoid, I didn't want to see my ex cry anymore, I was tired of not having a job, and sitting around. I was fed up with sniffing balls of coke, and having sex with random chicks that I met online, I was tired of being that person! But I didn't know how to change until I discovered my problem on November 24th 2008 Lack of self love- All along that was the problem I faced. Once, I lost my ex, and started reading on how to win her back, I learned that my first step besides NC, was stepping out of myself, and figuring out what caused the break up. I did that, and after about a week, I saw that it was me, myself, and I. And the cause was my own lost of self love. It had been covered with piles, and piles, of self hate. and that self hate caused me to be blind, and fell this void of superficial happiness with drugs, random sex acts, and pain inflected on those that I truly love and care about(my ex, family,friends,etc.) In thee end I ended up alone, at rock bottom, the only person who had my back was GOD, my mother, and my g-ma. All the other relationships, I destroyed. So I give my story because I know where you are. It hurts to feel like the target of bad things or bad luck. But I promise you, not saying you fill your voids with the things I did-People do it with shopping, binge eating, and many other things. But, if you can find away to seek out your self issues, fix them, and live positive, be very appreciative for life, you will see change. I mean check it out. I have been out of work for 1 year and 5 months until now-exactly 1 month after me and my ex breaks up a guy I interviewed with 3 months ago offers me a job, along with a few other prospective jobs I am waiting to hear from this week. I am living proof, change does come, but learn from these things that happen. Build from them. Bad things don't happen just to happen, they happen to teach you something. Try to learn from everything you do. You need to be strong, hurting other people will do nothing but set you back further. Hurting yourself will do nothing but hurt other people. Your stronger then that. Google "The Secret" its a good little thing to live by. Good luck
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 You can talk to me anytime starz. My AIM name is Shelty de Fluff. my myspace address is "thomasxavierz". add that to the end of the myspace address after the forward slash. No reason to go through the pain and heartache alone. Lost the girl I loved two months ago.
Author starzphalling Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 gah! you guys came through, i was looking forward to living out my grand theft auto dreams.... j/k thanks for all the kind words and amusing anecdotes all...goal for today: wake up tomorrow /end of goal.
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