mariarose1968 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 i have written a few posts on here and its time for me admit im wasting my time and you where all right.I have been another women for 10 and a half years.I have listened to him saying when i move in but it never happens,the weeks, the years went past i just kept hoping.We even got caught by the women he lives with and he went back to her.that should of opened my eyes but it didnt,we were seeing each other again a few months later and things went back to seeing each other 5 some times 6 days a week.I really wanted all the promises he said to happen.I believed in him we get on like soul mates.Yesturday he was here i kept crying.i couldnt help it,it hurts so much him living there.while i was talking to him and saying i cry cause i wont you here with me,i looked at him and he closed his eyes as if to say ive heard this before.He texted me last night as normal and cause i never answered straight away he put well dont speak to me then.I texted him back and told him i was cooking the tea ,he said sorry said he loved me and he had had a bad day and would text me the next day.today he is being distant with his texts not the normal him atall.I know its gunna fall apart,i know he is sick of me goingon at him to move here,and i know he will never move in here with me.i havnt got a clue what to do now.
sadintexas Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I'm sorry you're going through this. You have to face reality and see that after 10 years, you still have what you started with. He hasn't left and doesn't look like he will. The sad thing is those 10 years you can never get back. I'm sure there were plenty of good times in there otherwise you wouldn't have stayed, but they've been spent on something temporary. What do you want to do with your next 10 years? Hopefully you want to do something for YOU...something that can bring happiness in your life...something that has a future. You deserve that.
wildsoul Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 i know he is sick of me goingon at him to move here,and i know he will never move in here with me.i havnt got a clue what to do now. If you know it's at the point where it must move forward for you, then you've got to draw the line in the sand. However, "going on at him," but continuing to stick with him as you have in the past won't work any better now than before. It's time to change, and you've got to be willing to lose him. Break up. If you want to leave the door open for him to return once he's separated or single, then do so. Just don't take him back until AFTER he's moved out. You can't lose this way! You'll feel better taking action and begin to heal. Then you'll be ready for your next love, or for him to come back at a higher level. We're here for you!
torranceshipman Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 THIS is what you do. As you already know, pretty much, that he is going to end it sometime or t least 80% withdraw and permanently make you miserable...and you are NEVER going to have him full-time....send him a message (as I dont think you'd be strong enough to say it face-to-face right now) and END it. WALK AWAY. I know you feel it will break your heart but he'll end it if you don;t and this way you get to keep your pride by being the one that calls time on it. You can get closure this way too - closure in your own way in your time - because believe me he'll never give it to you and thats painful and clsure can help the ending process and help you move on. You need to end it by making it very clear that he has never valued you enough or been honest or given you what you needed, and you are clearly better than that...get everything off your chest...say that obviously you aren't going to wait around for him one day longer - well, just tell him whatever you want really. THen go NC and do NOT take im back, whatever lame stunts he might pull (remember he is a classic cake eater so he does love you and will freak at losing you - but that means SQUAT as he will never care enough to either want just you, or move in with you - he just wants his convenient 2-female life!!). I know this might sound a bit petty but with a break up that you are really upset about - at least knowing you were the one to dump him will help your ego and pride. It'll also make him feel some real pain at losing you which is what he deserves, and you can at least see him having to face up to the reality of his actions - i.e. losing you for good. I think the whole thing will make you move forward better if you do it this way. Holding on forever will probably keep you miserablefor the NEXT 10yrs while this guy gives you just enough to keep you hanging by a string so he has you around when it is convenient for him. Yknow what, have you seen Sliding Doors? Choose the right decision and move on, then you'll meet a great single guy and have a great, fun future...compare that with your equal who didnt leave this guy....stuck indoors waiting for his call, miserable and alone, still waiting, so regretful that your luife has been wasted on him!
frannie Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Yesturday he was here i kept crying.i couldnt help it,it hurts so much him living there.while i was talking to him and saying i cry cause i wont you here with me,i looked at him and he closed his eyes as if to say ive heard this before.He texted me last night as normal and cause i never answered straight away he put well dont speak to me then. From this snippet it sounds like he's immature, needy, and doesn't care about your feelings. So why would you want to be involved with him any longer..? It sounds like the two of you are involved in a horrible push-me-pull-you situation and its not doing you any good at all. Is he still saying he's going to move out? Even after going back to her?
jwi71 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 You will NEVER be more than what you are now. I skimmed your earlier threads and his W knows about you - or at least she did back in 07. You say he spends virtually everyday at your place back in November. So why doesn't he leave? He doesn't WANT to. You will be nothing more to him than what you are now. I don't care what he says or what he tells you. Look at what he CHOOSES and DOES. Its so very sad for you. You spent ten years waiting. How many more are you willing to waste waiting for him? Are you certain he is worth the wait?
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