Kamille Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 If a guy says your name repeatedly while in conversation and then, at one point, takes your hand, what would you think? I was put in a very awkward situation this weekend. Last summer I had a crush on a guy but nothing came of it, in part because I was getting over the ex and I didn't really pursue intently. Over the holidays, I ran into him at a few parties. At one of those parties, he spent part of the night chatting up one of my single friends. As a result, another one of my friends decided that they would be great together. For some reason, all of my friends are always trying to set her up with great guys. The friend who decided they would be great together knew that I had a crush on this guy last summer. Fast-foward to last night. I ended up going out with both of my friends and we ran into the really cute guy. Friend B spent most of the time trying to set them up, and I tried to play along with it too. Which ended up with me having to leave a few times when he would start touching my arm, and start kidding around with me. We eventually sat down and he came to sit with us. I was sitting next to him and my friend was sitting in front of him. He and I got into a very fun philosophical conversation and I tried to keep including my friend but it didn't work. He kept saying my name and at one point he took my hand. I froze. Normally, I would have gone for it and upped the flirting. My problem is that I still have a huge crush on him. I spoke my friend and she said that she wouldn't have a problem with anything happening between us. My other friends opine that I did the right thing by stepping down, as I am leaving my hometown in a few weeks. They still want to set my friend and the guy up. I see their point - but what about me? Why is it all about setting her up? And what about what he wants?
marlena Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I see their point - but what about me? Why is it all about setting her up? And what about what he wants? I don't see their point at all. Who are they to interfere in mutual attraction? What matters is who he wants and by the sound of it, he wants you. This is none of their business and asking you to step down is silly and wrong. Go for it!!
Author Kamille Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 Thanks Marlena. I do find it frustrating that setting her up seems to be one of their priorities where they seem to assume I'll be a happy singleton forever. This isn't the first time that a guy has been declared "off-limit" because they want to set her up. I'm having dinner with the friend who wants to set them up this week and I'm thinking of bringing up the topic. It bothers me that much. As for him, I kind of feel like I missed my chance. Hopefully I'll see him before leaving town, but if I don't, que sera sera I guess.
melodymatters Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Your getting your PHd right ? Or am I confused and you and your friends are still in junior high ? LOL You know I love you K and I'm just joking here, but they sound retarded and I would DEF bring it up ! It's simply that absurd.
Author Kamille Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 Your getting your PHd right ? Or am I confused and you and your friends are still in junior high ? LOL Yes it is junior high. That's exactly what I was thinking. Last night I just didn't know how to handle the situation outside of the 'junior high' parameters. I think he even caught on to what was going on. Part of the reason why I feel like I missed my chance with him. Who wants to date a girl stuck in teenage dynamics?
JohnnyBlaze Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Being a typical guy, I'm going to refer back to The Code here. Friend B, who everyone seems to think has rights to pursue the guy, has willingly relinquished her right to you. Therefore, regardless of anything else (including what your other friends might think), you have first shot. You're probably right that he understands what's going on. In that same vein, if you start stepping up the moves on him, he'll understand that as well, for the very same reason. He wants you, you want him. The friend in question has given her blessing, so the others have to abide by it. So what're you waiting for? Go after him! (See, you girls always laugh at us for having "The Code", but it exists for just such occasions!)
Author Kamille Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 I should update this. I did speak to my "matchmaking" friend about how uneasy the situation had made me feel. I basically asked her point-blank why it was such a priority to set Friend A up, to the point where I would be asked to step down. She said 1) because I'm leaving town and 2) because she takes pity on friend A - who has just gone through a horrible divorce. I understand her point, but I told her that I was single at 32 and I felt like I also needed my friends' support in finding a great guy. She said I had a point and conceded it wasn't really fair. I feel much better about the whole thing.
marlena Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 I feel much better about the whole thing. Glad you got that out in the open. Now, how are your knees doing?
Author Kamille Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 Glad you got that out in the open. Now, how are your knees doing? Still weak. I just sent an email asking him out as reported in this thread. I should also say that my other friend, the one people wanted to set up, called me to apologize for how friend B behaved. She was very mature about it and we both laughed about how we never really get out of junior high. I do kind of feel like by being foward with him I am perhaps being disloyal...
marlena Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 I do kind of feel like by being foward with him I am perhaps being disloyal... Kamille, disloyal to whom? I must have missed something.
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