fairytalegurl Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Okay I met this man with whom I am currently having an affair with. I think one of the things I liked about the relationship is the fact that I knew/know that I will be never more than a fling. However, now I'm pregnant and while my desires haven't changed (meaning I'm still fine with the way things are, definitely don't want him to leave his wife). I can't help but wonder what would cause a married man to purposely get another woman pregnant. My pregnancy was planned. He had told me on two previous occassions that I make him want to give me everything that I want including having a baby, but I never told him that I wanted him to get me pregnant. One of my male friends told me he did it to keep me in his life. I'm curious what others might think about this.
anne1707 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I'm curious as to why you planned to have his baby when it is just a fling.
jj33 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 And you are OK being pregant with the child of a man who is married to someone else and is never going to leave her? How exactly is that a good thing for you? Does he know yet? My guess is that he may have said it thinking it was romantic but VERY few men mean it. I wish you luck that he responds well when you tell him.
Author fairytalegurl Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 Yes he knows he was there when I took the pregnancy test. He goes to all the doctors appointments and everything. In my post I said that having the baby was planned it was his idea.
joybean72 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 You never told him you wanted to get pregnant...but it was planned???? Sorry to tell ya, but you are going to be the mother of his child.... that would make you more than just fling (?)...I mean, I think I'm right!
joybean72 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Yes he knows he was there when I took the pregnancy test. He goes to all the doctors appointments and everything. In my post I said that having the baby was planned it was his idea. There was a saying that my mom use to tell me long ago..."Joybean if your friends jump off a bridge, doesn't me you need to" or something like that. I'm just sayin'....
jj33 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Fairytale what I think we are all asking is why are you askig this question? You sound so passive as if you just happened to get pregnant because he wanted you to? Even tho you never wanted more than a fling? Something is not right here. Who cares WHY he did it. More to the point why did YOU do it? Why would you PLAN to have a child with a man who is married to someone else? You are the one carrying his child. You are the mother of this child. You said you didnt want more than a fling. It all makes no sense. If YOU wanted nothing more than a fling. WHY are you having this man's baby. And if he ceases to be involved, how will you raise the baby? Are you prepared to chase after him for support payments etc? Are you prepared for the fact that his wife will go ballistic? Unless of course you live in a country or community where having multiple "wives" and partners is acceptable but that seems unlikely.
Benique Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Fairytalegirl, He loves to have a double life . He is actually cheating on both of you : his wife and you .. It matches him ,Its fine for him . Is it fine with you ? And will it be fine for you to have a daddy for your baby who is married to another ? Did you think about your baby a bit seriously ? What will happen if "daddy" wont want to leave his wife ever ? So Your child will always stay a bas*** ? Sorry for the words, but think , your child in the age of 6 goes to school, his friends have either both parents withthem or at least one,but with the parent they are divorced ..Ok,the latter is not that pleasant,true ..Divorced parents are not a good thing,but still ... At least no one will say about them :"Look,his mom f*cked with a married guy and made him,a bas***!" Kids are so cruel sometimes.. It may break you in the longer run .. And nothing will be hidden for years ... Its impossible to hide a kid .. and is there a need? I feel pity for your baby .. You were not responsible making him. ____________________________________________ All you need is Love. Do not kick it. But stay wise to get love and not just a pathetic feeling.
joybean72 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Everything jj33 said. Oh hell, since he's such a generous & giving kinda guy, (You know...giving you what you never really asked for n all!) I've thought of a REALLY cool April Fool's joke...Once you have the baby (Nah, better yet, you can even wait a few years) go to his house, knock on the door and say, "I changed my mind, I can't accept your gift!.....April Fools!" How many YEARS of fun can ya have with THAT one?!? (I'm kidding of course!) This guy needs to pull his head out of whoever's @ss he's hiding it in that particular day (pretty sure it's far up his most of the time, but he pulls it out juuuuust long enough to brown-nose both you & his BS!) and do SOMETHING! This just has disaster written all over it! Truly sad.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 There is something primal about the idea of claiming a woman by planting your baby in her - sort of the ultimate way to mark territory and 'ruin' her for any other man. Child support and coming through as a father ... well, not so primal. MM tend to avoid that part of the deal if they can get away with it.
wildsoul Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 There is something primal about the idea of claiming a woman by planting your baby in her - sort of the ultimate way to mark territory and 'ruin' her for any other man. Child support and coming through as a father ... well, not so primal. MM tend to avoid that part of the deal if they can get away with it. A lot of it might be his and your biological drives. I'm reading a book LucreziaBorgia mentioned in another thread called "Sperm Wars." It certainly makes a strong case for why people have sex, especially unprotected sex, even when it doesn't make sense emotionally or financially.
lovinmylife Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Hello, Not trying to be rude, but if you are confused as to why he would "purposefully" get you pregnant, why would you purposefully LET HIM? Unless it's rape, you let him. So you did it, too! Some things you should stop trying to figure out (like as to why he thinks the way he does) because you may never get those answers. Just accept that he is who he is.
bentnotbroken Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 She needs to figure out why she is in this situation. It seems like she is content to be like a leaf in the wind. Going where ever the gusts take you, without taking responsibility for you own choices or consequences. What are you going to tell your child when it asks about daddy and how you two met and fell in love? Are you going to tell it, well daddy was married to another woman and I just wanted a no strings attached freak fest with him and then he decided that I should be pregnant with you while still married to his wife. Lovely story.
Recommended Posts