If a man is not stable, financially and mentally, does he not want a serious rs?!

[peytonelyse]

I have been friends with a man for years, we have figured out that we do love each other, but he feels that he cannot give me what I want because he is not mentally, nor emotionally stable, he actually does not like himself as a man. He says he doesn't he have any respect for himself as a man, and until he is able to do that, he says he doesn't want a serious relationship. This man has a lot of problems and as his friend first I have been there through them all through support, and encouragement. He says I am the only woman that he can share his thoughts, dreams, fears, be himself with, and has opened his heart, but that is why he can't be with me, because of all those reasons. He's able to be in other relationships he said because they don't represent the type of relationship I want. I represent something different then them, and hes not ready to settle down. I just don't get it. I thought men wanted someone like I am in his life, I know men that have married the woman in their life as such, why is he saying these are the reasons he cant be with me right now? Is it because he isn't settled, not ready for the serious real thing, because of his issues? Help.

[eclipseIDE]

I have been friends with a man for years, we have figured out that we do love each other, but he feels that he cannot give me what I want because he is not mentally, nor emotionally stable, he actually does not like himself as a man. He says he doesn't he have any respect for himself as a man, and until he is able to do that, he says he doesn't want a serious relationship. This man has a lot of problems and as his friend first I have been there through them all through support, and encouragement. He says I am the only woman that he can share his thoughts, dreams, fears, be himself with, and has opened his heart, but that is why he can't be with me, because of all those reasons. He's able to be in other relationships he said because they don't represent the type of relationship I want. I represent something different then them, and hes not ready to settle down. I just don't get it. I thought men wanted someone like I am in his life, I know men that have married the woman in their life as such, why is he saying these are the reasons he cant be with me right now? Is it because he isn't settled, not ready for the serious real thing, because of his issues? Help.

 

 

It sounds like he respects you and wouldnt want you to be disappointed in him. You sound like a good person. If I was in his shoes I wouldnt be such a victim and give it a shot.

 

Now if he was smart this could be a wake up call to get his act together.

 

You know what they say you can only help yourself but I think good people around you can get you motivated to become a better person.

 

He just has to quit being a victim and be in charge of his own destiny

[You'reasian]

 

He just has to quit being a victim and be in charge of his own destiny

 

.....Ditto.

[LostNLonely]

The bigger question here is why would you want to hitch your wagon to this man't horse? Your desire to be with him contradicts everything we (men) know about you (women), your supposed to be looking for men who are emotionally stable and grounded, who are also established and financially secure. Ask yourself what are your issues? Because he could waffle all his life, and that would be his choice for happiness, what's going to make you happiest? Waffles and flakes?