sweetappl2 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I posted quite a few times in the last 2 months and had pretty much given up on this guy. Everyone told me to move on so I just did my thing, and went about my life happy. Though things have defiantely turned a bit for the better so here's the story, for those of you who haven't read my threads plus what's going on now. My ex boyfriend and I had an amazing relationship. We both think this. We were falling for each other after only 2 months, everything was so perfect. And it ended suddenly in the middle of September because he needed to figure out what he wants to do in his life. Felt like he wasn't able to support himself so how can he support someone else? He finally figured out what he wants to do, but then was so stressed out about life at work, and actually pursing what he wants to do. He's joining the military, but still has yet to go to the recruiters. Plus he said that he is scared. He's been cheated on before several times. Well he's been up and down the past few months w/ me. Sometimes he'll be really flirty and other times its like I don't exist but he says its cause he's so stressed he can't talk to me and becomes distant, this is to everyone else too. But he would always get jealous... assuming that I'm with another guy or something and would bring it up (even tho I wasn't!) despite the fact that he broke up with me and we are still broken up. I wrote about how he was being a real jerk and stressed out, well that all seems to have passed now. He has definaetly been acting better. He's finally been himself again lately, but when I ask him about a commitment (just to get back in a RELATIONSHIP) he still says I can't cause I'm figuring out the military, I haven't joined yet blah blah blah..... It's been like that for awhile. I feel like that is just a cover-up and that the real reason is that he's scared of commitment (im not talking marriage here). I don't think it has to do with losing his "freedom" but more along the lines of he thinks he's gonna get hurt again. He's a good christian boy and I would have thought him as the wanting commitment type. Last night was interesting, because we were at work and he was so flirty, more so than ever!! he would try to tickle me, throw things at me to be cute and get my attention, always trying to talk to me, smiling at me, asking me what's wrong. He waited for me after work, walked me to my car, etc. He talked about us at work like we were together, outloud in front of others! He kept bringing up things from our past how like I would always fall asleep while we were watching a movie. A girl who never knew our history, thought he was my boyfriend!! I don't get it... he cares and misses me but he won't commit to a relationship? What on earth is a girl to do? If I try to talk to him, all i get is the "military thing to work on" excuse. I mean he won't even give me an answer as to whether he can commit to a relationship before he leaves but yet he practially treats us like we are together in public! I do not offer any of myself to him, I do not call/text him first, I won't kiss him (he's never initiated) but i won't do these things because I don't believe in having your cake and eating it too. I am transferring to a different area in our company, so I won't be seeing him as much in person anymore. What do you think is the best way to handle this situation? You think he will ever commit, should I give him more time (it's been 3.5 months by the way). I really do care about him, and he's a good guy, but I am so annoyed with his excuses about not bein able to be in a relationship right now. Because of his "hesitation" whenever I ask him about it, it seems like it puts him on the spot so I think its really the scared of commitment thing that is really the problem. He has told me that he's ready to settle down but is scared (huh?) I'm getting mixed answers from friends on whether I should keeping trying to pursue a relationship or let him figure things out. But in the meantime, I don't know how I should act around him? I mean, a relationship is what I want. Its pretty hard to be just a friend. We both clearly have feelings for each other. What do you all think? I've already been so patient with him. I miss him lots but I'm sick of not being with him! We were amazing together. I wish I could slap him upside the head so he would snap out of it already.
Geishawhelk Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I wish I could slap you upside the head! It's just been three months or so, this relationship is more casual than intense, and I predict that the less you see each other, the less it will matter. I'd move on and enjoy life a bit, instead of hanging on to a thread of a wish.
burningashes Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Yep. Just walk away, he's not going to commit, sorry.
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