Do I bother with it???

[The Syndrome]

Backstory:

Around 2.5 years ago, I began messing w/ a married woman. She ended up getting divorced and we began seeing each other. Things were awesome, we ran in same social circles, so we'd get to spend lots of time together. Sex was amazing and often. Basically, nothing I didn't like about her. We dated for ~1 yr, then she began fooling around on me w/ a friend of mine. I broke it off, but I really cared for the girl still. Eventually, we completely cease communication.

 

Fast forward 4 months:

I see her out one night, she notices the second I walk in the building and texts me. I have completely taken myself out of the dating scene by this time and was focused entirely on my career.. I was only out to grab a beer and dinner.. Anyway, we get to talking and she invites me back to her place that night. I go, and tell her it's only to talk further.. It stays that way, I refuse to even consider trying to reconcile. We talk casually for another month or so.. Finally, it seems like I can rekindle things. She asks me to come by one night, and I go solely for sex(selfish I know).. I get there, she's ready to go; we head to the bedroom. I decide to take it as what it is, just sex and then I'll leave.. We get to talking again, and she begins having second thoughts... wants me to just stay the night w/ her and talk about life in general.. I do not oblige. Break off all talk again.

 

I wound up moving, she moved, I was beginning a new career and going to grad school. Very rarely run w/ the social circle I used to. So I completely had her out of memory.

 

Fast forward to this weekend:

 

I'm out w/ some friends and one asks if I knew she was there. I didn't and probably wouldn't have had it not been brought up. Next thing, she still has my # and starts texting. I decide we're adults, and I can be civil and talk to her. So I talk to her in person, we talk about life, how things are, blah blah.

 

Then come the pleasantrires. "You look great, XXX" she says. I reply thanks, and tell her that she looks amazing. She continues to go on and on with how great I look and intro's me to friends she's out with, and I finally head back to my area where my friends are.

 

Once she leaves she texts that she'll never get over me, and still has very strong feelings for me. I don't know how I feel about this. I've come to grips with the fact I obviously am still attracted to her as well, but I really am at a point where I want my next relationship to be long term and serious.

 

I alway have friends trying to set me up with girls, and I shoot down about 50% of them upon talking to them because they're just playing the field. I am in my late 20s and ready for a real relationship now.

 

So, comes now the question: Do I even bother with this woman anymore?

 

 

Sorry for the lengthy post,

 

Chris

[The Syndrome]

No responses?

[saturnfell]

Hi,

 

This is tough. How do you feel about her? If she were to tell you she wanted to work on things and commit to you, what would you say?

 

This is about your feelings. I don't think it's a good idea to keep going back and forth with her. It would need to be something solid. Do you think there's a chance you're supposed to be with this woman?

[The Syndrome]

I didn't realize until I talked to her the other night, but I still feel very strongly for her. Also, this isn't something that's been back and forth, broke it off once and stayed that way.

 

I think that if she really wanted to commit to building a long term, stable relationship; I would say yes. This may be against my better judgment however.

 

To reiterate, I'm only looking long term now. I went through a very long patch of being the ladies man, and it hurt a few past relationships.

 

I know that everything about us meshes together very well, we were a great couple when we were together. The issue is faithfulness. I have never cheated on a sig. other. I know she has at least twice. So I don't know wheter to follow the old adage Once a cheater, always....

[saturnfell]

Many on here would not agree with me, but, no, people make mistakes.

 

Mistakes can be forgiven and trust can be earned. If you care for her, the only way it would work, as you said, if it was a committed relationship. Is this something she wants? I know she mentioned still caring for you, but what about the relationship piece? That's the most important part.

[The Syndrome]

That part is yet to come.. I committed to seeing her after work one night this week to discuss things.

 

 

To be continued..