blackrider27 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Sucks to the full extent, and hope she sits on her couch in her idiocy realising she lost the only guy that actually cares about her for her personality and not just sex Cause you know when your in the stage of first talking to your ex, you say you just want them to be happy How long was it for you guys to wish the worst possible upon them for what they did? Or am i just a ****ty person lol
malibustacydoll Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 How long have you been broken up for? I think in the beginning it is normal to wish the worst. Of course you want them to regret whatever they did and realize that they are missing you. They say it takes half the time you dated someone to get over them. I would say if you dated a year, maybe six months later you should be okay with them being happy. It is normal though and you are just bitter right now. I don't blame you.
Author blackrider27 Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 well 2 months, and the first month i missed her like crazy. But now seeing how she has become something she swore she hated, like apparently she drinks now. It's funny to see how she is "happy" with people thinking she's "cool" But now it's a lot different, how i feel towards her i mean. She's so dumb now lol. And it's funny to me what's gonna happen to her when her "friends" turn they're back on her. And she won't have me to always have her back and play her songs until she is cheered up.
malibustacydoll Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 So, you have been broken up for two months or you dated for two months? How old are you two? If she is around the college age or even hs then she sounds very immature. You really need to avoid talking to her. She will someday realize what she has lost. Nights of drinking and doing stupid things get old real quick.
Author blackrider27 Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 no no lol, she's a senior, i'm a junior, we dated for 10. I dunno if her doing that has anything to do with the break up, If so, that's sad, and i hope she knows she's also drinking my respect out. (and prolly puking it out too)
Peter_pan Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 10 what? i wouldnt hope for anything like her sitting around thinking of you.. people change, things change. she is now someone you do not know and shouldnt give a toss about tbh let her get on with it. you should move on.
Author blackrider27 Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 Don't get me wrong, i'm not crying for her back, the girl i fell in love with is no where to be found in whatever she is now. I was just wondering what people's feeling are on they're exes happiness level. I'm sure they're relatively low
Ronni_W Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I was just wondering what people's feeling are on they're exes happiness level. I'm sure they're relatively low Just hold whatever feelings and thoughts make YOU feel best about yourself. It won't make you a 'crappy' human being...just someone who is feeling sad, angry, vengeful, forgiving, happy or whatever it is that you'd be feeling when you have whatever thoughts about her that you want to have. Make your thoughts and feelings work for you.
EmperorR Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Yep but I know I treated her better than anyone ever will so I don't have to wish it.
northstar1 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Sucks to the full extent, and hope she sits on her couch in her idiocy realising she lost the only guy that actually cares about her for her personality and not just sex Cause you know when your in the stage of first talking to your ex, you say you just want them to be happy How long was it for you guys to wish the worst possible upon them for what they did? Or am i just a ****ty person lol I think it's natural to have negative feelings towards an ex, particularly in the early stages. Part of the coping process is anger about how they can leave you, or no longer care etc - which can be displaced in wishing unhappiness upon them. It reasons to be that if you are suffering after breakup, is it fair that they aren't? As long as you don't let these feelings consume you.......they will pass and eventually you will get to the point of indifference, where you don't care what they are doing.
honey2910 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Hey All, I believe its totally justified to have feeling of anger........However it will take u to no point. I have been cursing myself last 4 months for my breakup and yet she was enjoying and told she has no regret on this. By feeling more anger you will just curse urself. Our ex's will not hearing us and this will not feel bad for us. The main point now is stand again and make some purpose in our life. What I think now is its good that will not be marrying because if it would have happen 3-4 years down the line when we had a kid....things would have been much more difficult.... I am an Indian I am involving myself in spirituality.....U all can try It works wonders.....believe me
MWH Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Hey All, I believe its totally justified to have feeling of anger........However it will take u to no point. I have been cursing myself last 4 months for my breakup and yet she was enjoying and told she has no regret on this. By feeling more anger you will just curse urself. Our ex's will not hearing us and this will not feel bad for us. The main point now is stand again and make some purpose in our life. What I think now is its good that will not be marrying because if it would have happen 3-4 years down the line when we had a kid....things would have been much more difficult.... I am an Indian I am involving myself in spirituality.....U all can try It works wonders.....believe me I agee wholeheartedly. To hate my ex, or anyone for that matter, or to wish for bad things for them, does no good whatsoever. It weakens me, makes less of a person in every area of my being, and in the end leaves me feeling empty. I pray for my ex daily and I believe that it helps me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Now don't get me wrong- I'm not one of thoe "turn the other cheek" types who will repeatedly sign up for further abuse. I DO believe that it is right to stand up and fight against what is wrong and certainly to defend one's self. I do not nor can I condone anything resembling revenge or retribution. I gain strength and inner peace by doing and thinking what is "right". While anger is justified it should be allowed to run its course through us it should also be allowed to exit gracefully without negative action or thoughts on our part. How can I wish negativity on someone whom I loved for so long? As the cliche' says: Two wrongs do not make a right. Thats me. *shrugs*
Surfer Dude Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I agee wholeheartedly. To hate my ex, or anyone for that matter, or to wish for bad things for them, does no good whatsoever. It weakens me, makes less of a person in every area of my being, and in the end leaves me feeling empty. I pray for my ex daily and I believe that it helps me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Now don't get me wrong- I'm not one of thoe "turn the other cheek" types who will repeatedly sign up for further abuse. I DO believe that it is right to stand up and fight against what is wrong and certainly to defend one's self. I do not nor can I condone anything resembling revenge or retribution. I gain strength and inner peace by doing and thinking what is "right". While anger is justified it should be allowed to run its course through us it should also be allowed to exit gracefully without negative action or thoughts on our part. How can I wish negativity on someone whom I loved for so long? As the cliche' says: Two wrongs do not make a right. Thats me. *shrugs* You are my hero man. I've been poisoning my soul and mind with hatred towards my ex, but I realize that it's only been damaging me. The more I tried to hate her, the more pain I inflicted upon myself. I just loved her more than my life and it feels so difficult to hate her, I thought it would help me, but I just ended up being more miserable. These days I'm really trying to pray for her happiness and that she gets out of bad company (those animal whores she calls her friends have done her nothing but harm on every level), I sincerely hope she becomes a good woman for some lucky guy out there. Of course, NC remains forever and is set in stone. The fact that I'm wishing her well also has therapeutic value for me, it's really helping me move on.
EmperorR Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I don't hate my ex, you know hate the sin not the sinner. I hate her actions and how she manipulated me etc., I'm past feeling bitter tiwards her. But that doesn't mean im going to be her friend etc I dot need that negativity around me
MWH Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I don't hate my ex, you know hate the sin not the sinner. I hate her actions and how she manipulated me etc., I'm past feeling bitter tiwards her. But that doesn't mean im going to be her friend etc I dot need that negativity around me Good on ya man! I feel a lot of anger in your posts but that's cool too- just let it run its course and don't feed it. You don't want to end up all bitter! Allow yourself to be angry. Let it rip but do it in a way that harms no one including yourself. You'll reach a point (and I think you're almost there) where you're gonna shake hands with the way it was, the way it is, and then you'll be cool with the way its gonna be. For me I'm gonna come away from this a better man- even cooler, kinder, and more loving than before. I was so totally Zen when I met my ex. slowly it leaked outta me and in the end I didn't have any "mellow" left. Well it is coming back slowly but surely and in the end I'll be SO much better than I ever was. You will too.
EmperorR Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Good on ya man! I feel a lot of anger in your posts but that's cool too- just let it run its course and don't feed it. You don't want to end up all bitter! Allow yourself to be angry. Let it rip but do it in a way that harms no one including yourself. You'll reach a point (and I think you're almost there) where you're gonna shake hands with the way it was, the way it is, and then you'll be cool with the way its gonna be. For me I'm gonna come away from this a better man- even cooler, kinder, and more loving than before. I was so totally Zen when I met my ex. slowly it leaked outta me and in the end I didn't have any "mellow" left. Well it is coming back slowly but surely and in the end I'll be SO much better than I ever was. You will too. Yeah I know i'm a little bitter still, at one point I was so bitter, I was praying for my ex downfall I'm past that now, I hope she has a wonderful great life and finds someone she won't cheat on and treat like crap, I just pray I neve rhave to see her, talk to her, hear about her ever again.
wooha Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 I'm dealing with the same thing. My ex is drinking with friends everyday, and running off support of friends. Trust me, she'll regret it, just like mine will. Let her be an immature know it all. Move on like I'm trying to do. She's a moron!
LikeCharlotte Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 aww black, its normal to get angry as long as you don't do anything destructive. You can only hope for the day when you no longer hold spite or anger. Someday you wont give a flying f* what happens to her good or bad. You might even hope it worked out okay for her - ideally you won't think about it at all. I think I remember a moment where I thought "oh boy I can't wait until he realizes that he's being a stubborn jerk! He will see it with the next girl and regret this!" but that only lasted a short time. I don't care at all now. I figure he will just go on as he has and *blows dust from her hand* thats nice for him. I don't care if he learns, suffers, is or isn't happy. I don't think about it - much as I wouldn't with a passing stranger.
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