calculus Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 So the last message I made on this forum was about my so called "friend" who got into contact with my ex through facebook. Before that, they never even met each other. And this was a couple of days after he signed up. I mean, if this bitch can move on to talking with who was my backstabbing friend and on the other hand tell me in IM that she can't get over the fact that I said something that really didn't warrant her to break up with me on the first place, what does that say about her? Her first rebound failed, now she's trying to rebound with another person (a punk ass friend, no doubt). I don't really know what I saw in her to begin with. I could've done better than her really. And yet I still get down about how I lost her. This stupid cycle of feelings really suck:confused: Just got back from vacation too. Wanted to talk to the said backstabbing friend on the phone to let him know that **** he did wasn't right, but could only leave a voicemail. Go figure. If I could run into me in person, I'd give him more than a piece of my word. Maybe a piece of my fist. And then why should I even be angry when she's my ex anyway. sigh.
Surfer Dude Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I think only NC can truly help you here. NC not only in regard to talking to her, but also breaking ties with mutual friends etc. It's about completely going off the grid. You'd be much better off not knowing any of these things they do together. Otherwise the cycle of grief and anger will never end, it will always persist. I learned two days ago that true NC isn't only about not talking to my ex, but also about cutting all ties with mutual friends, changing my phone number and email address. Now she has no means of contacting me, short of physically appearing on my doorstep (which is never going to happen as she lives in a different country). Even if you don't talk to your ex, just knowing what she does is still equally hurtful and will prevent you from moving on.
Author calculus Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 Ok. So like what I said, I've known this friend on and off for awhile and one of the reasons I could think of why he would get in contact with her was to clarify what happened in the relationship because I didn't feel like talking about it with him at the time. Just got off the phone with him and according to him, that's basically what happened. He just found out what she told me was wrong with the relationship (and actually hearing it from him again, it kind of makes me realize now why the relationship wouldn't work out in the long term). But I'm an adult. I don't need anyone to call or find out what happened. I know what I need to do to fix stuff on my own.
smiiiley Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 i been through shock, denial, crazy intense pain, to hate, anger, depression, guilt, confusion, over-analyizing, acceptance....hell everything...a whole circle of emotions
Author calculus Posted January 5, 2009 Author Posted January 5, 2009 Well now that I think about it, my friend's justification for him contacting my ex sounds more like BS. He was trying to know what happened to the relationship between my ex-gf and myself even though I didn't feel like telling him at the time.As I was told by another friend, he's a bit too nosy trying to find out what happened in my personal life and that was a shady move on his part. Well I know from the conversation that my ex-gf thad with him, she told him the reason why we broke up and he wanted to find out why and what I could do to fix the problem next time. Well it wasn't something I already got out of my ex during those last few conversations I had with her. I'm a grown adult, I dont need others trying to poke into my life just to help me. I haven't even spoken to this douche bag friend in awhile and then all of a sudden he gets a facebook account and then I see all that writing on his wall from my ex-gf. It just bothers me more and more that he went out of his way to contact my gf and that my gf gave him her phone number after a day or two of messaging each ohter on facebook to talk. I just hope she had enough integrity not to reveal too much about our relationship with my idiot friend because I sure didn't say anything about her personal life that she told me about to anyone no matter how much I resent the fact that she broke up with me. Maybe it's a sign though that this relationship wasn't going to last long anyway. I know she has many guy friends especially from her home town which is a bit far from where I live. I know she likes to keep in contact with some of her ex's from previous relationships and keeps some of the stuff they gave her in her room. I might be jumping to conclusions here, but maybe she just runs from one relationship to another when something fails. I mean she tried doing that a couple of days after she broke the relationship and that failed. And look at how easy it was for her to have a conversation with my friend (whom I never introuduced to her during my relationship with her) over the phone about what happened. I know there were positive moments with my relationship with my ex-gf and it always pains me to remember them, but it also bothers me how quick she is to find others to tell her relationship problems too. Sorry if the rant seems unformatted, but I just woke up at 2am, couldn't go back to sleep, and thought I'd post my thoughts here.
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