malibustacydoll Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I have been with my boyfriend for two years. Is it weird that if we were to break up and if he slept with another girl that I could never been with him again no matter what? In my mind I have this feeling that if he was ever with someone else physically that I could never be with him again and that would seal the deal. It wouldn't matter whether he went and had a one night stand right after the break up or if he got into another relationship and had sex... I do not know if it is weird too that I could date other guys after him who have been with other girls and that wouldn't bother me. It is just something about him-- I couldn't be with him anymore if he was ever with someone else. I do not think it is something I could ever get over.
MWH Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I don't think it is too weird at all! You are entitled to YOUR morals and values regardless of what other might think. In fact I think this speaks very highly of your character and adds to your value as a "catch" and "keeper"! Obviously you believe sex to be an expression of intimacy and commitment and that is commendable in my eyes. Bravo! __________________ And good evening neighbor- I too live in the mitten-shaped place :-)
Author malibustacydoll Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 When my boyfriend and I started dating we were both virgins and lost our v-cards to eachother. For some reason though I just cant picture him being with anyone else. I think if he were that I could not get over it and he would be tainted. I told him about this and I am pretty sure he thinks I am crazy now. I just wanted to inform him so if we ever break up-- that he knows the minute he sleeps with someone he better be sure that he is totally done with me-- because that will be sealing the deal in my mind. In a way it scares me though because I know I couldnt be with him anymore and that is not what I want..
Geishawhelk Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 If he thinks you're pretty crazy now, that says a whole lot about his own morals, in comparison to your principles. Yours are quite high. His are a bit lower.
Riffmeister General Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 If there's one thing you'll learn from being here, it's that the 'weird' measurement bar is set phenomenally high.
Author malibustacydoll Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 I think he thinks that I am crazy just because I am thinking about such a thing and he doesn't think that far in advance or think we would break up? I have told him the same thing in regards to cheating-- that if he ever cheats it is over. I admit I have trust issues but cheating is one thing that I could not get over-- even if it was just an emotional affair or even just a kiss. Hmm
starzphalling Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 If he thinks your crazy he's in denial. Breaking up and being cheated on are two very real possibilities after entering into a relationship. I think its unrealistic to never have these ideas cross your mind. Truth is people breaking up or being cheated on is not exactly a minority of the world. So I think if these are things you've thought about, and expressed you are just being a realist that knows at least some things they want in a relationship. I don't think you're crazy, but then again I might be crazy.....
Author malibustacydoll Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 If he thinks your crazy he's in denial. Breaking up and being cheated on are two very real possibilities after entering into a relationship. I think its unrealistic to never have these ideas cross your mind. Truth is people breaking up or being cheated on is not exactly a minority of the world. So I think if these are things you've thought about, and expressed you are just being a realist that knows at least some things they want in a relationship. I don't think you're crazy, but then again I might be crazy..... Thanks. I would like to think not either. I mean different people have different views and I just want him to know mine. Therefore if we do break up he will know the minute he jumps in the sack with someone else his chances of ever having me again are gone. It does worry me though because I am the only girl he has ever been with. He is a guy so I figure he will want variety...
TG84 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I know a lot of people like you, including -- and the one thing we all have in common is they value sex a lot, and as a result when we have it it's much more special and rewarding. I don't think that's silly at all, although think that if you broke up with the man of your dreams, and he dated and then slept with someone a year later, and then you both l worked things out eventually -- would you really never, EVER get back with him? It's easy to say now, but emotions would take hold then I think. I think cheating is much much different than sleeping with another after a break up -- one is a clear sign of disrespect, the other varies between "he's a dirty slut" to "he has no self control and can't hold it in his pant for a few months" depending on the situation
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I know a lot of people like you, including -- and the one thing we all have in common is they value sex a lot, and as a result when we have it it's much more special and rewarding. I don't think that's silly at all, although think that if you broke up with the man of your dreams, and he dated and then slept with someone a year later, and then you both l worked things out eventually -- would you really never, EVER get back with him? It's easy to say now, but emotions would take hold then I think. I think cheating is much much different than sleeping with another after a break up -- one is a clear sign of disrespect, the other varies between "he's a dirty slut" to "he has no self control and can't hold it in his pant for a few months" depending on the situation future, i think the same way as you. i'd find it hard to take someone back who'd been with anyone after me. never mind the people before me, because that's in the past. but i do see where TG is coming from. what i don't like is the idea of someone having loads of one night stands.......or one even, and then coming back to you a short while later........that i couldn't handle. i know they mean nothing generally..........but with me it's probably based on the moral of it. i could never have a one night stand, i find the idea of being so intimate with someone i don't know repulsive. i don't mind that other people can do that. each to their own, and knowing that someone has had one night stands in the past wouldn't stop me being with them............it's the idea that someone could hop straight into bed with another woman who means nothing to them after being with me that hurts..............i'm making no sense anymore!
Author malibustacydoll Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 future, i think the same way as you. i'd find it hard to take someone back who'd been with anyone after me. never mind the people before me, because that's in the past. but i do see where TG is coming from. what i don't like is the idea of someone having loads of one night stands.......or one even, and then coming back to you a short while later........that i couldn't handle. i know they mean nothing generally..........but with me it's probably based on the moral of it. i could never have a one night stand, i find the idea of being so intimate with someone i don't know repulsive. i don't mind that other people can do that. each to their own, and knowing that someone has had one night stands in the past wouldn't stop me being with them............it's the idea that someone could hop straight into bed with another woman who means nothing to them after being with me that hurts..............i'm making no sense anymore! I totally agree with you. In may be their way of coping with heartbreak and wanting to get a rebound person but it is something that I could never forgive.
Author malibustacydoll Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 I know a lot of people like you, including -- and the one thing we all have in common is they value sex a lot, and as a result when we have it it's much more special and rewarding. I don't think that's silly at all, although think that if you broke up with the man of your dreams, and he dated and then slept with someone a year later, and then you both l worked things out eventually -- would you really never, EVER get back with him? It's easy to say now, but emotions would take hold then I think. I think cheating is much much different than sleeping with another after a break up -- one is a clear sign of disrespect, the other varies between "he's a dirty slut" to "he has no self control and can't hold it in his pant for a few months" depending on the situation I agree that cheating is a lot different. I could never forgive that. However, I still do not think I could be with him even if we broke up and he was with someone else physically. The only way I may be able to handle it is if he was in another serious relationship and many years had passed and then we randomly met up again. Maybe then-- but I don't know. There is just something about that...
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