desertmoon Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 if it is true your wife is NOTINTHEMOOD and what she posted was true....my dear VNQSH, do you not think justice has a sense of you humor?
serial muse Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 if it is true your wife is NOTINTHEMOOD and what she posted was true....my dear VNQSH, do you not think justice has a sense of you humor? The whole thing makes pretty much zero sense to me either. VNQSH says she's lying in that thread, except that doesn't deny that he did actually have affairs with other women. He says the difference is that she was okay with it and gave him permission, and he didn't want her to cheat with this guy. Despite what she told him, obviously she wasn't really okay with it, and then she cheated, perhaps out of revenge. Who knows. What a screwed-up relationship. The whole thing is way too convoluted. After reading those other threads earlier today, I now just found this thread and I must say that I read what the OP wrote on here with some astonishment. I just can't see how one person can reconcile what he wrote here with his sleeping around, permission or no. It seems very compartmentalizing, almost pathologically so. Sorry, OP, I know you don't like my posts, but don't be evasive in all your threads - that's dishonest. At least tell the whole story to people who are trying to help. You may not think it matters to them to know these details, but I assure you that for most people, it does.
Touche Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 I agree with Desert and Serial. I don't understand posting if you're not going to reveal the facts as they really are. What's the point? I mean it's to the posters benefit.
Author vnqsh2001 Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 I agree with Desert and Serial. I don't understand posting if you're not going to reveal the facts as they really are. What's the point? I mean it's to the posters benefit. Exactly. Which is why I haven't lied about anything! You people are just too quick to judge. I am not here to play games, that's why I'm not wasting my time denying all the silly things she said. Also, it won't matter if I do that or not because then it just becomes one of those "he said, she said" situations. You people won't believe me anyway, because you've already made up your minds. So go believe what you want. It doesn't matter what I say, does it? So, does anyone have anything helpful to add? Anyone besides the angry, bitter women that are hunting down all my threads thanks to my manipulative wife? You people aren't helping anyone here. You're not helping me and you aren't helping her, because all you are doing is making me more angry at her; which is fueling the fire between us.
Author vnqsh2001 Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 I agree with Desert and Serial. I don't understand posting if you're not going to reveal the facts as they really are. What's the point? I mean it's to the posters benefit. Take another look at my wife's post. Does it look like she is there to get help from anyone? Is she really asking for help and advice on real problems? Could it be that she is actually starting a bunch of lies in order to rile people up against me and use that for her own sadistic thrills? Come on, people. Surely you are smarter than that. I don't need to tell you these things. You can see it for yourselves if you open your eyes. But you really don't want to. Nothing I say is going to make you do it either. So as far as all your comments go ..... well, you know what you can do with them.
Touche Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Wow, wow, wow. You're blaming us for fueling the fire between you two? How can it be any worse? You guys did plenty of damage before you ever got here. I don't know that you've lied but you haven't been completely honest with yourself. That's all I'm saying. Things have been pointed out already. You won't look at them in an honest way. You just keep taking out the violin and singing your song of pity. And she does the same by the way. I see through some of her manipulative behavior. How are WE making YOU get more angry at her? Have you no control over your own emotions at all? I don't think she's all to blame here you know? Read Serial Muse's posts. She said it all...way better than I did. Look, let me say this...and I swear I'm saying this to try to be helpful. Marriage can be challenging..very challenging. I'm married almost 14 years now. (We've been together for 14 years.) We've had our share of ups and downs. This is a second marriage for both of us. I'm not perfect. It was because of something I did wrong that I ended up on LS..and no I didn't screw another guy. But I realized what I did wrong and we repaired things. Don't laugh but we don't believe in therapy but we bought Dr. Phil's book Relationship Rescue 7 years ago when we had some other bumps in the road..(just general stressful things going on and we were snipping at each other a lot then.) You wouldn't believe how that helped us. They have exercises in the book to do. And we kept it up every night and little by little we got back on track. You should try that, don't laugh. We have a wonderful marriage. Neither one of us has ever effed another person. Neither one of us has ever hit each other or gotten into power plays. Everything we've done, when "tweaking" our marriage, was for the good of our family and marriage. There's no room for ego or power plays or dishonesty when you're trying to weather the storms and get back on track.No room for pride either. You have to be able to admit to your spouse where you've gone wrong and acknowledge it. With some work and REAL honesty on both your parts, you CAN get back on track. I'm just not sure either one of you have what it takes. You're not being honest with yourselves. I have no agenda other than to help. I'd love to try to help and be on your side if you would only be open to some of what's being said. I picked apart some of your posts so you can SEE that you're really not "owning" your part in this. And I'm telling you that if you don't, it will never work.
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