Beyond Frustrated!! AHHH!!

[Roxy24]

Hello Everyone, I'm incredibly frusterated with my relationship. I've been seeing this guy since March 2008 and it has been extremely difficult. We had been dating for about a month and I always felt something wasn't quite right. Needless to say I found out he was not only in a relationship but MARRIED!! I can't even go through the emotions I had flowing through me. The wife was crying on my shoulders and I was completely numb. I decided to talk to him one on one and not have both of us bombard him. In talking to him I truely realized I was in love with him. He said the marriage was almost business-like. "

 

They did it for health insurance for her" I bought it. He moved in with me. After a month of nagging for him to file for divorce i drove him over her place to sign the papers and he came out and nothing was done. That day he packed his things and claimed he couldn't see me hurting the way i was anymore I followed the cab and suprise suprise he was at their apartment. After about a week he kept telling me he made a huge mistake. The only reason he did it was because he was afraid of his dual enrollment status with two countries and that she could really screw that up for him. Yet again I fell for it. He came back. I made sure he left the car for her and make sure he gave her money with bills cause I felt for her.

 

I got him a phone and found out that he had been talking and texting her all the time. He also would come up with reasons he had to go over there. He had a laptop business through ebay and he kept keeping her involved in it. He left again. This time saying he just wanted to take care of business and if he stayed there everything would be done soon and he'd come back. This tore me up. He came back again. I was going out of my mind slowly. I read a text from her saying " when are you coming home? You've been saying it forever." I flew us both over there that second. Found out he had been doing it again. Playing us both! He finally sat us both down,apologized and said he wanted to be with me. It still never stopped. He kept going over there. In fact, I would have to drop him off! I would bawl my eyes out and he'd still get out of the car. One night it blew up! I walked up at 130am to her place and knocked on the door. She attacked me! I couldn't defend myself because I was on her property.

 

When I left he didn't run after me. I packed up my things and left to my family's place. Obviously I didn't have enough yet. I moved into a different city and he was "supposedly" living with his aunt and uncle. I found a picture of her in his phone and something else horrid happened and i was finally done. I tried to see other guys. He found out and became jealous and then said he didn't want to lose me. He said he truely loved me and wanted to show me he had changed. I wasn't sure so I did keep a guy on the side in case because I felt so broken and it was nice to have attention from someone.

 

Now we are living together and it has become unbearable. All we do is fight. There is a lack of communication and NO trust. I flip out about female friends. I check his phone constantly and when he leaves the house I literally loose my head. I convince myself he's going to hurt what's left of me. I do see that he is trying but he shows signs of old things and when I try to explain myself he totally disregards it because to him it's ridiculous. He goes outside to talk to his female friend and it looks suspicious to me I can't seem to try to control my thoughts.

 

We are both beyond frustrated. I need to regain my sanity. I love this man. I know the past was completely horrifying for someone to do but I've never felt the way I do for him. I understand why he did all those things before, he explained everything. I'm usually a very confident together strong woman but I feel this relationship has completely destroyed me and I'm desperately trying to put myself back together. We are so happy with each other but now all we do is fight. How can I start trusting him again? What can we do to fix everything? We both want to but it's becoming impossible.

[Joker77]

Hello Everyone, I'm incredibly frusterated with my relationship. I've been seeing this guy since March 2008 and it has been extremely difficult. We had been dating for about a month and I always felt something wasn't quite right. Needless to say I found out he was not only in a relationship but MARRIED!! I can't even go through the emotions I had flowing through me. The wife was crying on my shoulders and I was completely numb. I decided to talk to him one on one and not have both of us bombard him. In talking to him I truely realized I was in love with him. He said the marriage was almost business-like. "

 

They did it for health insurance for her" I bought it. He moved in with me. After a month of nagging for him to file for divorce i drove him over her place to sign the papers and he came out and nothing was done. That day he packed his things and claimed he couldn't see me hurting the way i was anymore I followed the cab and suprise suprise he was at their apartment. After about a week he kept telling me he made a huge mistake. The only reason he did it was because he was afraid of his dual enrollment status with two countries and that she could really screw that up for him. Yet again I fell for it. He came back. I made sure he left the car for her and make sure he gave her money with bills cause I felt for her.

 

I got him a phone and found out that he had been talking and texting her all the time. He also would come up with reasons he had to go over there. He had a laptop business through ebay and he kept keeping her involved in it. He left again. This time saying he just wanted to take care of business and if he stayed there everything would be done soon and he'd come back. This tore me up. He came back again. I was going out of my mind slowly. I read a text from her saying " when are you coming home? You've been saying it forever." I flew us both over there that second. Found out he had been doing it again. Playing us both! He finally sat us both down,apologized and said he wanted to be with me. It still never stopped. He kept going over there. In fact, I would have to drop him off! I would bawl my eyes out and he'd still get out of the car. One night it blew up! I walked up at 130am to her place and knocked on the door. She attacked me! I couldn't defend myself because I was on her property.

 

When I left he didn't run after me. I packed up my things and left to my family's place. Obviously I didn't have enough yet. I moved into a different city and he was "supposedly" living with his aunt and uncle. I found a picture of her in his phone and something else horrid happened and i was finally done. I tried to see other guys. He found out and became jealous and then said he didn't want to lose me. He said he truely loved me and wanted to show me he had changed. I wasn't sure so I did keep a guy on the side in case because I felt so broken and it was nice to have attention from someone.

 

Now we are living together and it has become unbearable. All we do is fight. There is a lack of communication and NO trust. I flip out about female friends. I check his phone constantly and when he leaves the house I literally loose my head. I convince myself he's going to hurt what's left of me. I do see that he is trying but he shows signs of old things and when I try to explain myself he totally disregards it because to him it's ridiculous. He goes outside to talk to his female friend and it looks suspicious to me I can't seem to try to control my thoughts.

 

We are both beyond frustrated. I need to regain my sanity. I love this man. I know the past was completely horrifying for someone to do but I've never felt the way I do for him. I understand why he did all those things before, he explained everything. I'm usually a very confident together strong woman but I feel this relationship has completely destroyed me and I'm desperately trying to put myself back together. We are so happy with each other but now all we do is fight. How can I start trusting him again? What can we do to fix everything? We both want to but it's becoming impossible.

 

Get out now. I had a situation like this happen a few years ago with a woman I was dating. It was absolute hell. She didn't tell me she was separated. One thing led to another and it went completely downhill from there. Apparently six months into the relationship, her soon to be ex husband broke into her apartment and found a card that I had written to her. He was looking for me for months. Bad, bad situation. Stay out of this one.