nacho bob Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I have never cheated on my wife nor do I intend to. However, I do flirt with other women here and there. I see it as part of human nature. Just because you get married does not mean your hormones automatically die. My wife trusts me and I her and we both mildly flirt with people from time to time. We are committed to each other though and would never do anything stupid to hurt the other one. We have two kids and have been together for 15 years - neither of us would throw that away for some little fling. A co worker of mine though has me very confussed. She is a very friendly lady and both hers and my family have become friends with each other. We casually flirt with each other at work and have a good time most days. We goof around and pick on each other a lot and sometimes pass comments with mild sexual inneuendos. If I ever notice it going to far though I step back a little and will change the subject or something. The thing she does off and on that I am really confussed by though is how she is always trying to let me know that her husband is jealous of me. I don't get it? I understand when a person might let on a little that they think you are good looking but why would someone want to let you know that their husband is jealous of you? An example of this is she will tell me that her husband was picking on her because I called her one day to see how she was feeling (she had been sick). He was asking her what her boyfriend wanted. She told me he is a very jealous person and is always passing comments about me in front of her. My wife picks on me about her too but only in a teasing manner and we keep that between the two of us. She seems to try and get my attention by letting me know how jealous her husband is of me. Why? I just don't get it?
anne1707 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 To me, it sounds like it is more than just harmless flirting to her. I think you need to back off and also make it clear that you do not want anything more than just a friend. Don't just blurt it out, try and be a bit subtle at first. She may not want more or have realised what she is doing so try to allow her to hold on to some dignity first. If that does not work then you will have to be clear about your lack of interest. The key throughout all this is to be straight with your wife. Tell her your concerns - ask her how she thinks you should handle this situation.
confuseddd Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 sorry dude, calling her at her home is probably a little on the inappropriate side....can't blame the man for being jealous. Afterall, he obviously knows about her flirtatious nature being that he is married to her. You need to lay off if you don't want to get any more confused. Because you are on this site trying to "decode" her hidden meanings behind what she says , SAYS TO ME LOUD AND CLEAR that you are a little overboard with the flirting. You are thinking too much about it when it is supposed to be "lighthearted". You probably have some feelings invested here. And if reading that last statement makes you mad....hmmm...might be worth considering. Afterall, the flirting is supposed to be lighthearted jmo...doesn't have to mean anything to you. Just giving you another perspective. Good luck.
Maladjusted Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 I have to agree. Not everyone shares your feelings about flirting while being married. Calling her at home was crossing a line in my opinion.
carhill Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Share an example of a "mild sexual innuendo". I'll opine that there appears to be a mutual ego feed going on. If the behaviors occur in front of the respective spouses and they do not object, there ya go Oh, but one (her H) appears to be objecting, or so it might seem. How does he behave when your families are together? This probably won't end well, but I'll be happy to be wrong
mandydarling Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Take it from me, if her husband is jealous, then she is not giving him enough reason not to be. She probably likes the attention, whether it is actually because she is attracted to you, or because she is lacking attention from her husband. Don't let her blame it on her husband. If she is telling you about it, she is craving attention from you. How would her husband feel if he knew that she was telling you that he was jealous? I am sure that he does not want her discussing it with you, and she is actually going against her husband's confidence. Don't be fooled - she is milking this situation and using you for attention.
JustBreathe Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Oh geez. You called her at home to see how she was feeling because she was sick? You make little sexual innuendos but then cut it off if it gets too hot? Puh-leese. You're leading her on and you know it. Stop acting like a gooney eyed teenager.
Owl Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 If you don't ever intend to cheat on your wife...don't flirt. This is NOT rocket science. Let me ask another question...does your wife know about your flirting/sexual innuendos/phone call to this woman's house? Does your wife agree/approve with these actions?
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