You'reasian Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 How do you guys build a connection? For me, its usually happens randomly. I had an experience recently that I'd thought I'd share. I can't explain this easily, but for me it usually starts with a generous amount of eye contact...and it feels like I can't stop gazing at her, a gradual smile works its way between the both of you and you feel like you can't not look at her. You introduce yourself and she herself. You can't unlock your eyes from hers or she yours during your conversation - you could be talking about something lame - but that eye contact is so sharpp and intense. They say the eyes are the window to the soul...and you guys just can't stop locking eyes.
carhill Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I'd suggest being aware that women use this tool (eye contact) as just that, a tool, is important. IMO, it's the totality of the dynamic and its context which give me a perception of the "potential connection". For myself, I tend to pay more attention if I find such happening with a woman I would not normally find physically attractive. The killer connection is one that, if someone were to ask me to describe her body, I could not, because I never really noticed it. I don't "build" connections consciously. It just happens... YMMV
Author You'reasian Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 Good point! It does happen at the most random moments. I kind of zoned out of everything else and all I could focus on was her eyes, didn't pay more attention to the rest of her, although it was fine...
birdie Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I can't build connection, it just happens. if it lasts long enough so that I can't ignore it, I go with the flow but I don't even know how to consciously build it
ruggy Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I think that is the secret most men are looking for. I seem to always get stuck on the second or third date, then done. Probably me. Need to move faster. I am told I move too slow. I never knew there was such a rush in things. Then again, I am a bit thick headed. Working on changing that. Anyways, I always look at the way she reacts to my comments. If she is leaning in, laughing and smiling, that is always a plus.
Author You'reasian Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 I think that is the secret most men are looking for. I seem to always get stuck on the second or third date, then done. Probably me. Need to move faster. I am told I move too slow. I never knew there was such a rush in things. Then again, I am a bit thick headed. Working on changing that. Anyways, I always look at the way she reacts to my comments. If she is leaning in, laughing and smiling, that is always a plus. She's beautiful... she's about my age, dirty blonde, easy going and an otherwise caring person from what I can tell. I have noticed that she's comfortable sitting close to me.
ruggy Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 She's beautiful... she's about my age, dirty blonde, easy going and an otherwise caring person from what I can tell. I have noticed that she's comfortable sitting close to me. Go for it. You'll never know until you try. Also, not good to hold your heart in your hand. Being nonchalant seems to work best, I hear. Donno why. play it by ear. One thing, that has worked, I think in this recent round, is picking out some places to go before hand. Then let her choose from a few of them; until you get to know her. It shows you are on top of your game.
Author You'reasian Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 Go for it. You'll never know until you try. Also, not good to hold your heart in your hand. Being nonchalant seems to work best, I hear. Donno why. play it by ear. One thing, that has worked, I think in this recent round, is picking out some places to go before hand. Then let her choose from a few of them; until you get to know her. It shows you are on top of your game. I'm going to wait for her to get over here... I guess by recently met, I meant several months ago. She's absolutely stunning...and she can't stop gazing into my eyes either.
vanilla87 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 For me, eye contact with someone I'm attracted to is crucial. It will be the main thing that'll help me proceed to initiate some form of contact or smile at the person. Its also the way to get someone turned on too. Ever notice when your sexually turned on you can't stop looking into the other person's eyes? its one of the key things you need to jump start a good kiss too.
Isolde Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 This happened to me once in college. We talked for only a short while, but that was preceded by and followed by ridiculous amounts of intense eye contact and smiling. I felt like I was walking on air. Too bad nothing came of it. It was probably my only "movie moment" that didn't involve alcohol. Don't get me wrong, I make eye contact with many guys, but that moment really stood out because it was just OBVIOUS we had much in common.
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