Rikku Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Best friends are really hard to come by, everyone knows that. I am so lucky to have found my bests friends! The thing is though, one of them is a major slut...sorry bad word but that's being nice, compared to how she is. The thing is I love her to bits! She's an awesome friend but she has a BAD reputation in this town and I don't know how to tell her. She asked me if she was a slut a few times and I just 'meh'ed it off. She would go for any guys, young old, taken, marriaged, with families, and I'm worried that people are going to start thinking I'm like this! I have my own suspecions she maybe even slept with my boyfriend, who is now my ex over other reasons. How would I tell my friend to, you know, ease down on her ''needs'' so she's not doing anything that would ruin her reputation, and bring mine with it. Or should I just let this friendship go all together?
LavendarGirl Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Rikku, If you value her as a friend (forgetting the rumors and other people's opinions of her), do NOT dump her as a friend. Just learn to ignore the town's rumor mill if you can. And whether your friend is or isn't a slut, doesn't mean that you are by association! Now as far as your opinion of her and her, um, easy ways. Well, when she infringes on your space (hitting on or sleeping with your ex's or relatives or boss, etc), feel free to tell her to back off. Or maybe even tell her now, so the boundaries are well defined. But I would say to bite your tongue regarding the other stuff unless she wants an honest opinion from you. But again, do keep her as a friend. If you dump her friendship purely based on other people pressuring you, there will come a day when you'll regret tossing your friend aside like that. --LG.
Geishawhelk Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I wonder if people would be talking about her so harshly if she was a guy? The thing is, people sometimes have preconceptions and are conditioned to believe that certain traits are acceptable, or understandable in some, but not others. judgement is hard to define when everyone has a different opinion. The thing is - how do you feel personally, and why? How does she feel personally, and why? My own take is - providing she is up-front and honest with people about her intentions, and she looks after her health (and by connection, the health of people she's having sex with) then - it's nobody's business but hers. If the married man she's having a fling with, knows it's just a fling - how about him taking his share of the criticism? It takes two to tango, and as a man who's taken vows with his wife, he's more to blame and open to criticism than your friend is. That's it. Be all and end all.
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