emotionalydistraugt Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Is it just me or do you find it funny (irritating/upsetting/want to kill them) that when you're in a relationship and the girl/boy says nothing is going to happen between me and anonymous or I won't cheat on you I love you and we believe them. I hate the fact i didn't go with my gut. I knew starting out that eventually something like this would happen and yet I continued on. I took every measure to prevent it from happening but cheaters find their ways. She got me to buy it hook line a sinker. "I wouldnt do that to you. I've seen what my mom did to my dad and I couldn't do that to you" And she did it. Should have gone with my gut but hindsight is 20/20 i suppose
Riffmeister General Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Oh, my dear old thing. I could torment myself for months non-stop, day and night, about the things she said to me that ended up being a load of BS. When I said something about how I could never listen to metal or play guitar and a load of other stuff if we ever broke up and she replied with something like "don't say things like that, I got a lump in my throat just thinking about it!" Or when she said to me "You'd better be in it for the long haul, I'm not letting you go!" Or when I said I was worried about some other guy sweeping her off her feet by being that caring, sensitive friend that's being 'supportive' while the boyfriend's away, and she said nothing would or ever would happen with ANY of her guy friends (I had one in mind in particular but couldn't put my finger on why. Guess who, in an ironic twist of fate, she ran off with?!). Or when, 5 days before coming out here, when for a MONTH she'd had feelings for this other guy, she posted on my Facebook "5 DAYS BABY! WOOOOOOO!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx" Or when she said "Nothing's gonna happen with him even when I get back" and a day later she emails telling me it's definitely over and she has to be with this other guy. Bottom line - people will tell you ANY kind of BULL SH*T to avoid having to tell you the truth to your face. *deep breaths*
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 I just hate how people can say one things and do another. I hate liars and I had to go out with one of the biggest ones out there. You and I friend are just two souls tormented by the actions of others
Riffmeister General Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 And here endeth the sermon... I don't know what I hate more, the fact that you're lied to or that that you believe them, when somewhere deep in your subconscious, you know something's up! I've tried to be taught this a number of times, but I think it's finally sunk in - my intuition is GOOD. I'm so cynical of it - "Oh, you're just being paranoid and pessimistic." No, it's my brain taking in subliminal information, processing it on a sub-conscious level, then hitting the big red ALARM button in my head. Pay attention, because sometimes it's not a drill. We need to re-focus this energy we're wasting on this into something positive. Lesson learned, game over, insert new credit.
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 And here endeth the sermon... "Oh, you're just being paranoid and pessimistic." No, it's my brain taking in subliminal information, processing it on a sub-conscious level, then hitting the big red ALARM button in my head. Pay attention, because sometimes it's not a drill. We need to re-focus this energy we're wasting on this into something positive. Lesson learned, game over, insert new credit. Couldnt have said it better myself.
Knight_Ctrl Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 goes a bit further than just sex and **** though. I just think is the full of crap issue. I've heared countless times "I would never do that, never cheat on you, never HURT you, will ALWAYS love you, etc......" Yeah whatever bitch....
EmperorR Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 My ex always told me this. "I hate cheater's how can anyone respect someone who has cheated.", not to mention she was so jealous always thinking I would cheat but I was faithful and would never ever ever put anyone through the pain and heartache I had to go through. Before my ex left for her trip, she was crying "please don't cheat on me pleaes don't talk to any girls, remember me". A week later shes screwing a guy she just met calling him sweet, and that he was there for her:laugh:.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 They probably meant it at the time. I would have to say that people tend to be truthful in the moment, but moments never really last and neither does the truth that was ascribed to that moment. People make the mistake of thinking that truth has static parameters and is infinite, when it fact it is completely subjective. What is true today will not be true tomorrow or even an hour from now, regardless of how heartfelt that truth may be at a given time.
durotto Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 They probably meant it at the time. I would have to say that people tend to be truthful in the moment, but moments never really last and neither does the truth that was ascribed to that moment. People make the mistake of thinking that truth has static parameters and is infinite, when it fact it is completely subjective. What is true today will not be true tomorrow or even an hour from now, regardless of how heartfelt that truth may be at a given time. I agree ... at that moment what is said seems to be always constant but life is ever-changing and so nothing remains the same ..
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 They probably meant it at the time. I would have to say that people tend to be truthful in the moment, but moments never really last and neither does the truth that was ascribed to that moment. People make the mistake of thinking that truth has static parameters and is infinite, when it fact it is completely subjective. What is true today will not be true tomorrow or even an hour from now, regardless of how heartfelt that truth may be at a given time. Well in that case. Don't make promises your ass can't cash. I told her i'd never cheat on her and I never did. SO it wasn't just in the moment, it was a promise I made to her. All I ever wanted was the favor to be returned.
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Should have gone with my gut but hindsight is 20/20 i suppose Yes! We all live and learn but one thing's for certain. Listen to your gut instinct. Forget what people tell you about others. Forget what you rationalize due to emotions. If something doesn't feel right, where your spidey sense is tingling...NEVER IGNORE IT!
MWH Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 My experience is that the more they verbalize that sort of thing the more they are actually talking to themselves. They are trying to talk themselves into what they are not. They are, essentially, "wishing" out loud the same way a liar tells the lie enough times and they end up believing it. Very similar to projection where the one who is constantly accusing is, in reality, the one doing. We very-much wish to believe them and take them at their word. We want them to be as we are: faithful, honest, etc. In the end we feel violated, betrayed, and frankly, we feel like we've been walking around with a sign on our forehead that says "SUCKER". If I had a dime for every time my ex spouted off her list of virtues that turned out to be utter BS I'd be rich! Well, actually, I'd have about $4.60.
Riffmeister General Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 They probably meant it at the time. I would have to say that people tend to be truthful in the moment, but moments never really last and neither does the truth that was ascribed to that moment. People make the mistake of thinking that truth has static parameters and is infinite, when it fact it is completely subjective. What is true today will not be true tomorrow or even an hour from now, regardless of how heartfelt that truth may be at a given time. Yes, this is understood, but it's when it's being said during a period you later learn is when they DIDN'T mean it, is what hurts. When she fell for this other guy and kept saying the same things. THAT is what hurts. The other times just now feel like bitter ironies (more in the US than UK sense). Nice signature by the way. He's one of my favourite contemporary thinkers.
Joker77 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 It's not worth the energy. If I had a dollar for everything my ex said she wouldn't do to me, I'd be rich. "I would never hurt you." "I won't do what my mom did in her marriages." "You are mine forever." It's just not worth the time worrying about it.
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