cotinara Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I had a really good relationship with a male classmate who was in a longdistance/long term relationship with a great girl. they were perfect for each other. when she would come in we would hang out and it was all good. One weekend after a little too much to drink we were talking about something and i ended up telling her something that her boyfriend never told her. Ok first of 1)i now know my fault in talking about others buisness (i was drunk also) 2) i assumed that they had talked about it b/c they have such an open relationship 3)i went to talk to him in class and he, a man who is very easy going and calm, blew up at me and basically told me to get out of his face. We went on for 2 months not talking till i confronted him. I told him how sorry i was and i am. and he told me that they both thought I was trying to break them up!! which isn't remotely true...our friendship didn't heal after that and i just gave up. now i find out that they broke up...and i can't tell u how utterly devasted and disgusted i am with myself. do i keep feeling horrible with the part i played? am i to be blamed or was their breakup more than just want i said???? tihs is so hard for me b/c i am that person that is friends with everyone including their significant others and now feel that ppl can't trust me, and blame me...god i feel bad.
Riffmeister General Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Sounds like an honest mistake to me. Do you know if what you said to her was the reason they broke up? Don't go attributing what you did to that without knowing the facts. As I always say, work the problem, don't make things worse by guessing (think that was a line out of Apollo 13 actually...) Relationships break up for a million different reasons, and the truth of the matter is, if he was withholding info from his girlfriend that was enough to break up the relationship, then you can hardly be to blame for that, can you?
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 You didn't give the details. What exactly did you say? This is vital.
Author cotinara Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 supposedly he had a three way kiss with a guy and a girl. he was extremely drunk and ppl were making fun of him for it...i didn't say anything about the girl i just was saying something along the line of kissing a guy....it went down after that. Riffmeister General: it was an honest mistake and i know ur right. i hope ur right. i just have to let this out of my head.
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 That's pretty disgusting. I don't think I'd have ever mentioned that if I were you, unless I at the very least cleared it with him first. However, you cannot blame yourself for them breaking up. They broke up because of his actions, regardless if you blew the whistle on them or not. If he hadn't done what he had done, then the whistled wouldn't have been able to be blown. In the future, though, do not make that mistake again. But I think it's safe to say you can let go of blame. He did the ****ed up stuff.
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