zilverenvlinder Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 As many of you know, I was just unceremoniously dumped at the beginning of December by my cheating lying boyfriend of two years. I just TWO DAYS ago got all of my belongings, furniture, TV, the whole shebang, out of our shared living space. For the first two weeks, I was a wreck. I didn't know how I was going to survive without him. I thought about killing myself. I called him numerous times and told him how much I either hated him or loved him, told him I wanted him back, cried about how I thought he was already screwing someone else...blah blah. After that I went cold turkey. Two more straight weeks of No Contact. This morning my phone rang at about 6:00 am. It was him. I answered. This is what I got. An earful of a crying ex boyfriend and blah blah blah. "I still love you, I made a mistake, this is killing me. Maybe we just moved in together too fast. I think we can still be together but live apart. This is too much for me to handle. :sob sob: Do you think that maybe later we can just hang out or something?" I listened to him for a good fifteen minutes. I responded with, "Mm hmm" and "Uh huh". And then after he asked if we could hang out or something, I replied with these exact words: "God, no. Hell no. You call me back in six months and maybe we can be friends, but I will never be with you again." Click. He called back and left a message, but I didn't even listen to it. DELETE. Good bye. Have a nice life.
OCCDAVE Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Congrats i hope i get to that point.I give you credit i think most ppl heck maybe even me would have taken the ex back but you are stronger.
EmperorR Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 As many of you know, I was just unceremoniously dumped at the beginning of December by my cheating lying boyfriend of two years. I just TWO DAYS ago got all of my belongings, furniture, TV, the whole shebang, out of our shared living space. For the first two weeks, I was a wreck. I didn't know how I was going to survive without him. I thought about killing myself. I called him numerous times and told him how much I either hated him or loved him, told him I wanted him back, cried about how I thought he was already screwing someone else...blah blah. After that I went cold turkey. Two more straight weeks of No Contact. This morning my phone rang at about 6:00 am. It was him. I answered. This is what I got. An earful of a crying ex boyfriend and blah blah blah. "I still love you, I made a mistake, this is killing me. Maybe we just moved in together too fast. I think we can still be together but live apart. This is too much for me to handle. :sob sob: Do you think that maybe later we can just hang out or something?" I listened to him for a good fifteen minutes. I responded with, "Mm hmm" and "Uh huh". And then after he asked if we could hang out or something, I replied with these exact words: "God, no. Hell no. You call me back in six months and maybe we can be friends, but I will never be with you again." Click. He called back and left a message, but I didn't even listen to it. DELETE. Good bye. Have a nice life. Congrats, I hope one day to be able to say those words, i know pride is the only thing keeping my cheating ex from calling me.
Riffmeister General Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Well done. Have a carrot. Have two, actually. That's strong, real strong. That gives me the belief I can be that strong if it ever happens to me. I've been NC 4 days (seems like a lot longer than that, but I'm not even tempted actually!), so I'm at least walking the path. Mind if I write those words down and leave them by my phone in case I get that call?! My brain will in all likelihood cease up and I'll start talking about cheese or something equally silly.
lonelygurl Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Good for you! Glad you were able to be so strong. Keep up the good work!
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 LOL! Great job Zilver. You kick ass at this point.
emotionalydistraugt Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Standing ovation. Like everyone else I hope I have your strength in the future. You've given me hope. Well Done
BikerBeagle Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Count yourself a success story ....good job.
loveleen Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 wow! you are so strong! i neeeeed to learn from you because everytime my ex came back, i'd be jumping for joy that he called and i'd take him back in a heartbeat and all i'd get were two months of "yay were back together" and then he'd kick me to the curb! -__- buuut goodjob to you!
Darklegion Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Congrats on staying strong, I am personally a guy and I cannot tell you how many times I have witnessed my guy friends doing this to their girl friend... Later to see them do it again to their girl friend. Stay strong and you will find someone better.
Tinkerbelll Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Oh Yes! You did it so well..I really admire you, you gave us a really good lesson. I am sure there is something better waiting for you now.
Author zilverenvlinder Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 Yaay for me! I mean, it's hard as HELL, and I know this as well as you guys do, and it hurts and it sucks, but after all of the support I've gotten from you guys and from my best friend and from my sister and brother, I know that he is NOT GOOD FOR ME and he never will be. I mean, it doesn't mean that I don't still feel anything for him, because I cant' just turn feelings off...like he did. -_- But there has to be something better, there HAS to be. PLEASE everyone keep that in mind, there IS SOMEONE BETTER FOR YOU. And maybe some day I'll find mine, HOPEFULLY, but I know that the next person I am with I will never let cheat on me again.
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 You have to be careful here. You'll never let the next guy cheat on you? That's treading on trust issues. How exactly are you going to prevent it? Be extremely snoopy in his business all the time? This will lead to a failed relationship. You can't control if the next one will cheat or not and if you try, then you will lose him as quick as you got him. It's that simple.
Author zilverenvlinder Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 You have to be careful here. You'll never let the next guy cheat on you? That's treading on trust issues. How exactly are you going to prevent it? Be extremely snoopy in his business all the time? This will lead to a failed relationship. You can't control if the next one will cheat or not and if you try, then you will lose him as quick as you got him. It's that simple. Well, what I meant was, if I ever FIND the next person I was with DID cheat on me, I wouldn't tolerate it and I would leave him immediately. Unlike my ex. Who did it about 5 times that I know about and I still doted on him.
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 OH. My mistake. Sorry for that, my bad. By all means, that's absolutely what you should do. No honest person deserves to be cheated on. Your ex who cheated though? Hopefully he gets cheated on! Karma is a bitch, and it stems from inside. His mistakes will haunt him, even if he has no idea they are. It will effect his initial reactions to things, based on his subconscious. That's karma. In other notes, Zilv, you sound like a good girl. Are you from the states? How old are you? Sorry for the stalkerish questions lmao. Just curious, because so far you have been one of the most intelligent girls (in my opinion) here. (Not that anyone here is stupid).
Geishawhelk Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Need a bigger shovel, Tom? Keep digging.......
Author zilverenvlinder Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 I know. I just have faith that karma will make its way into his nasty little life. :-D I'm 23, and I'm in Michigan now, but I was born in Arizona. Et toi?
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Geisha you are easily on my list as well as one of the most intelligent girls here. You are also one of my favorites, as well. I can't say enough good things about you. And that REALLY means something, considering I'm so harsh normally to people Zilver, that's cool. I was wondering what age you were so I could match it up with your strong mentality. You seem to be ahead of your time mentally. Impressive. Post a pic at this point!
Author zilverenvlinder Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 LOL, I will for sure put a little pic on my profile. Once I get all my crap together and get my digital camera back from the ex! :-D (And my dog. If he takes that dog, I'll kill him.)
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Good good. Because I bet you're good looking. I think Geisha is too actually. This forums full of beautiful women at this point
Goatsbreath Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I often day dream what I will say if my X came back. I don't imagine her crying for me as lately she just seems so cold. Did you day dream of this moment zilverenvlinder? Did you know what you would say if he did call wanting you back or did it just come pouring out of you? Were you surprised at your own reaction?
Author zilverenvlinder Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 I often day dream what I will say if my X came back. I don't imagine her crying for me as lately she just seems so cold. Did you day dream of this moment zilverenvlinder? Did you know what you would say if he did call wanting you back or did it just come pouring out of you? Were you surprised at your own reaction? I was shocked. Like I said it was 6:00 AM! O_O I have to wake up that early to go to school anyway on Wednesday-Friday, so I think he'd been up all night or something waiting for me to wake up. I really didn't even know what I was saying. It honestly did just come out. And once I hung up I just sat in my bed for like ten minutes in shock. And then I ran downstairs, yelled, "OH MY GOD I AM AWESOME!" jumped in the shower, did my hair all cute and pretty, and took my little drive to college.
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