lonelygurl Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I miss him so much. I wish I could tell him to come back and we could just make things right. but I guess that is not to happen. I know I offered for counseling and he said not right now. This pain is never ending. It is like it is never going to stop. I feel awful all the time. All I do is think about him constantly. I cry all the, feel sick and get sick to my stomach quite often. My sleep pattern is all over the place. Thankfully I'm not working right now. That is being reassessed on Tuesday. Whether I'll work, go to school or do neither. I don't see how I'll do either, but then I feel what will I do all day. I'm in therapy once a week and was to start an anxiety group that would be twice a week, but due to cuts back it won't be until late spring now. I think I'll go crazy if I sit around all day everyday. When does this pain start to go away? When do you stop thinking about them and hope that they will come running back and tell you how much they love and miss you????? I can't take this anymore. I just want to pop all my pills and sleep forever. There is just too much pain in life.
MWH Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Please don't take all your pills! You are valuable and you ARE important! Life will get better. I know it feels like it won't but it will. Will you just take my word for it please? I don't know you but I want you to know that I care about you. I'm hurting very very badly as well but I know that it will get better in time. You WILL feel better! You are not alone and many people DO understand. Any time you feel sad or hopeless come in here and post about it. That's what I do. it is not perfect but it helps. I care about you. Peace, MWH
Author lonelygurl Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 Thank you MWH. I just feel so horrible. It is just so neverending. I just feel like I want to stop this pain forever. I'm so sick of it. I've been working towards getting better with my depression, but it is such a long haul. and it is like a friend told me the other day my X kicked me when I was down, rather than stick it out like he had promised he would do. I have been fighting so long, I'm just getting really tired of the fight. Thanks for caring!
MWH Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. Seriously. i've been fighting depression for well over a year. Now that my ex dumped me it has gotten worse. I know that it will take time but I will get back on my feet. I'm almost 45 years old and I have been through breakups before so I can say FOR SURE that it will get better. there will come a day and you will look back and not even remember how awful you feel right now. I know that sounds silly but it is true!
Surfer Dude Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Listen to MWH, what he says is true. Don't say things like "I'm thinking of ending it". It's destructive and won't help you. I know it seems like you'll never make it, but you will. You have to realize that your ex should not be the center of your universe, he doesn't belong there, it's not his place. You need to stop centering your life around him. There are 3 billion other people for you out there, don't give up. Come on, you will make it. The pain caused by breakup is nothing compared to what people go through. I was feeling miserable because of my stupid ex yesterday, until I heard that my friend's 10 year old niece has been diagnosed cancer and might not make it, plus she's going through agonizing pain. You are young, you are healthy, you have potential. Don't let me ever hear suicidal things, ok? We DO understand, we all went through it (and still are). You ARE NOT alone. Stay strong.
Author lonelygurl Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 Thank you surfer for trying! MWH I am 41 myself and have just about had enough of the love life. I had a long marriage which I ended by my choice. and now have spent seven years with this man, although at the three and a half year mark he dumped me and I took him back. three and a half years later I sit here again.....I guess I should say who's the fool here? I've been dealing with my depression a very long time. Last year around November not long after turning 40 something in my just "snapped". It has been a long road of hell since then. I understand it was hard on my X but I did try to keep things going, he just shut down and got cold like he did last time. Of course he is trying to blame it all on my depression, but as my counselor says that is just a copout. I truly am tired of fighting. My story is long and painful. No not as painful as some, but painful enough. I have done nothing but struggle all my life and right now I have nothing to show for it. I guess I'm just in pity party mode! Thanks for caring!
Author lonelygurl Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 surfer I forgot, I'm sorry to hear about your friends niece. I hope things work out okay!
MWH Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I know what you mean about wanting to give up on love- I have been struggling with that too. Glad to know I'm not the only old-timer around here lol! You just hang in there and keep t it, k?
LikeCharlotte Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I want you to know that you are not the only person who has struggled most of her life. I wonder sometimes if it will ever stop being so hard. Still, I do not ever want to give up. I lost someone to suicide a long time ago and it has taught me that even though we suffer - some more than others - it is worth it for the moments of happiness however small. I know you have them and hope is easier to live with than despair. Hold hope close to you when despair tries to take over. You already know you are strong. You can do this. You can have everything you want. You will heal... I've said this before but maybe it will help you. Go get some of your favorite happy music, sing along LOUDLY, dance around, make some cookies or take a bubble bath, watch the rain, wind or snow... or clouds, listen to children laugh, do things that make you happy even if you end up in tears at the end you will have those moments... and they are yours.
openbook08 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I I've said this before but maybe it will help you. Go get some of your favorite happy music, sing along LOUDLY, dance around, make some cookies or take a bubble bath, watch the rain, wind or snow... or clouds, listen to children laugh, do things that make you happy even if you end up in tears at the end you will have those moments... and they are yours. this is brilliant advice! you will survive. the healing process has a beginning, a middle and an end. see the pain of this as not hurting but healing. it is normal and natural. the thoughts of suicide are a natural symptom of the pain but there is NO NEED TO ACT ON THEM. the good is on its way. tomorrow will come. we're all here for you, so keep posting. its important to talk with people who've been through similar. im sorry youre going through this X
atwitsend Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 You need to put the energy you are using into something positive that will bear results. Exercise, workout till you drop. It will make your sleep patterns better. Right now it is just getting through the day. This will help immensely.
Recommended Posts