zilverenvlinder Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I've been seeing this guy and I like him a lot. We've only been seeing each other for a week. He is great but obviously it's only been a WEEK. Is it okay to go to another guy friend's house to hang out? A guy friend who I have sort of a history with? Do I have to tell him? There's definitely been no discussion of "exclusiveness". What do you guys think?
OpenBook Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I agree, you owe him nothing at this very early stage in the game. But you gotta keep in mind - he doesn't owe YOU anything either.
Author zilverenvlinder Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 I know, right. I WANT to be exclusive but hell, I do NOT want to scare him off. So I'm going to just be COOL AS HELL. I am NOT going to be clingy, I am NOT going to be all up in his business. So if I want to hang out with my guy friend, I will. It's not like I'm going to have sex with him or anything. Jesus.
m-j Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 You aren't technically dating him but put yourself in his position. Would you be hurt if you found out he was fooling around with another girl this week? When things were first getting started for me and my current boyfriend, I wasn't interested in him at first and I had slept with another guy. I told him about the other guy because "i thought he should know". A week after that, I realised I wanted a relationship with my boyfriend and we began dating. he couldn't officially object because we weren't dating, but i see that it did hurt him and if i could have taken back sleeping with the other guy i would in a second. It's a tricky situation, I think if you are REALLY keen on the first guy, you won't WANT to hook up with your other friend. Even if you're really horny just wait a little while and save yourself for the guy you like. Thats what i think.
Author zilverenvlinder Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 Thank you for your wise words m-j. A bit of a past history story is always helpful. I think I agree with you. I would be hurt if I found out he was hanging out with some other chick behind my back. I don't think I'll go over there. And yes, I am VERY KEEN on this first guy.
m-j Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Well, go hang out with other guys as long as you aren't setting yourself up for temptation. And if you know the other guy is only inviting you over to get into your pants then he is in that shady category of not-a-friend but not-a-boyfriend and those people need to be removed from your life immediately if you are looking to start a relationship. They don't make you a better person, you don't make them a better person - you are not friends - and it will only cause problems. I hope it works out with this new guy! The start of relationships are so exciting and innocent and brand newwwwwwwwwwww. People just need to love more. I'm a hopeless romantic.
Recommended Posts