Star Gazer Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 And I think it's possible you have no clue what you are talking about, Beav. How do you guys pick them out so quickly? It takes me many more posts to figure out those who've been reincarnated... You're GOOD!
Tomcat33 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 People...it was the very next day after they last saw each other when she got tired of waiting for him to call. Had 24 hours even passed? And he was spending time with his family. She didn't even give him time to miss her! I KNOW!! Man I would hate to be the men with these types of women who desperately scrutinize the poor guy's every move. The bottom line is you should not base calming your insecurities on what a man does or does not do, your insecurities should be reassured from within.
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 People...it was the very next day after they last saw each other when she got tired of waiting for him to call. Had 24 hours even passed? And he was spending time with his family. She didn't even give him time to miss her! He was at my place a few days then went back home yesterday. He did not call yesterday evening or today, we are both off for the holidays. I called him just now (3pm) and he's with family going to the shooting range. I was a bit annoyed that he didn't call to say hi earlier. We have plans to do something tomorrow. Story, you're taking that excerpt out of context. He didn't for a day+ when they were supposed to get together tomorrow, so I assume, plans needed to be firmed up. You should also read the background thread for these two.
Tomcat33 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I know. I agree to an extent. But I really think it's relevant to consider when they were last intimate (if they were) and how soon after they met. In my personal experience, that's a big factor here. well they were dating for a bit and she was not being intimate with him, she posted about that last week or something. Then now over the last few days they got intimate and he went back home to be with his family and didn't call for ONE day, woopdy doo.
Storyrider Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Story, you're taking that excerpt out of context. He didn't for a day+ when they were supposed to get together tomorrow, so I assume, plans needed to be firmed up. You should also read the background thread for these two. I will look into the other threads. However, since they're seeing each other tomorrow, wouldn't that make it even more natural to take a break? Unless you're saying couples have to talk every day or something is wrong?
Tomcat33 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Unless you're saying couples have to talk every day or something is wrong? Seems that's the only way some women feel sure of where they stand if they are getting attention 24/7 from a man. God forbid he doesn't feel like taking to her for one day or TWO....
Touche Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 well they were dating for a bit and she was not being intimate with him, she posted about that last week or something. Then now over the last few days they got intimate and he went back home to be with his family and didn't call for ONE day, woopdy doo. Ok, I didn't know the background here. But if it's how you describe I would have to agree that one day is not enough to go nuts about. That's just insecure, immature nonsense. Anyway, weren't they to get together the next day anyway or something? (too lazy to go back and look.)
BubblyPopcorn Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 well they were dating for a bit and she was not being intimate with him, she posted about that last week or something. Then now over the last few days they got intimate and he went back home to be with his family and didn't call for ONE day, woopdy doo. I agree with Tom. If it had been where a significant time had passed and he was avoiding seeing her or something like that, then it would raise a few questions. But a missed call for one day, not so much.
Tomcat33 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Ok, I didn't know the background here. But if it's how you describe I would have to agree that one day is not enough to go nuts about. That's just insecure, immature nonsense. Anyway, weren't they to get together the next day anyway or something? (too lazy to go back and look.) Yeah apparently they had plans for tomorrow, you can't go one day without contact that you start to shake and tremble and worry about where you stand with the guy?
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I will look into the other threads. However, since they're seeing each other tomorrow, wouldn't that make it even more natural to take a break? Unless you're saying couples have to talk every day or something is wrong? The two have an interesting dynamic. Just read redant's replies in her other thread. Then read this thread to follow up.
Touche Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Yeah apparently they had plans for tomorrow, you can't go one day without contact that you start to shake and tremble and worry about where you stand with the guy? I have to agree. I mean it's not like the next time they met was even open-ended. They had plans. I hope the OP can back off some or she will drive this man away. Sometimes it's not about playing games. Sometimes it's really about a person simply having a life, you know?
Tomcat33 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Whatev Beav, start thinking up of another name since I have a feeling....
Touche Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 why all the bitterness, Tomcat? You are really getting worked up over this topic. Doesn't mean your viewpoint is the correct one, though. I didn't think she was "worked up." She's just giving her opinion like we all are. I happen to agree with her. And I'm not "worked up" either...just experienced. I feel that her viewpoint is very much the correct one. I guess some of us just have to learn from experience.
Tomcat33 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I didn't think she was "worked up." She's just giving her opinion like we all are. I happen to agree with her. And I'm not "worked up" either...just experienced. I feel that her viewpoint is very much the correct one. I guess some of us just have to learn from experience. The Beav doesn't know any better Touche. :lmao: Beav, why you crying bro? :lmao:
Tomcat33 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I'm not crying, Butch. And I'm WAY too pretty to be a man. Here we go, the Beav in full effect. 3,2,1....:lmao:
Tony Posted January 3, 2009 Senior Moderators Posted January 3, 2009 Most (more than fifty percent) of the last 30 or 40 posts are of little help to the original poster. Some posts don't make any sense at all, except to a small group of people. Please kindly move this thread back on topic or don't post in it. If responses don't start discussing aspects of the original post we'll have to close it down. Thank you for your cooperation!
Storyrider Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I have to agree. I mean it's not like the next time they met was even open-ended. They had plans. I hope the OP can back off some or she will drive this man away. Sometimes it's not about playing games. Sometimes it's really about a person simply having a life, you know? Agree with this. Also, I read the back ground. I think redant needs to realize there are different things people want to protect about their self hood when they're in a relationship. She wants to keep some boundaries up concerning the sex. Maybe he wants to set some limits on the phone calls. That is his right.
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Also, I read the back ground. I think redant needs to realize there are different things people want to protect about their self hood when they're in a relationship. She wants to keep some boundaries up concerning the sex. Maybe he wants to set some limits on the phone calls. That is his right. Take it all into context. redant wanted a relationship before having sex. He kept pushing her for sex. The guy told her that they had differing perspectives and let her cool her heels for awhile. This happened 10 days ago. In the ensuing 10 days, he backed of with his demands for sex and redant gave in, "feeling a comfort level", without an exclusive relationship commitment. The two spent a few days together during the holidays, doing what comfort level couples do. He doesn't contact for a couple of days and now she's wondering again. I think everyone should be able to see the dynamics and progression, as to what's happened, where it's at and why she's feeling the way she is.
Storyrider Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Take it all into context. redant wanted a relationship before having sex. He kept pushing her for sex. The guy told her that they had differing perspectives and let her cool her heels for awhile. This happened 10 days ago. In the ensuing 10 days, he backed of with his demands for sex and redant gave in, "feeling a comfort level", without an exclusive relationship commitment. The two spent a few days together during the holidays, doing what comfort level couples do. He doesn't contact for a couple of days and now she's wondering again. I think everyone should be able to see the dynamics and progression, as to what's happened, where it's at and why she's feeling the way she is. But they've had contact every day. Today he hadn't yet initiated it before 3 PM and was on the way out the door for a family outing. Honestly, there is no evidence that he is game playing, but I wouldn't minimize her feelings. She might do better with a different kind of guy who shares her values.
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 But they've had contact every day. Today he hadn't yet initiated it before 3 PM and was on the way out the door for a family outing. Honestly, there is no evidence that he is game playing, but I wouldn't minimize her feelings. She might do better with a different kind of guy who shares her values. That's exactly it. The right guy isn't going to give her anxiety attacks. He's also not going to jack around with the relationship thing. He's either in or he's not. redant has to realize this guy isn't committed yet and be comfortable with her situation. She shouldn't be looking at potential or potential for change. She needs to be happy with the now.
Tomcat33 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Also, I read the back ground. I think redant needs to realize there are different things people want to protect about their self hood when they're in a relationship. She wants to keep some boundaries up concerning the sex. Maybe he wants to set some limits on the phone calls. That is his right. You know what and that's an excellent point, specifically because the dynamic was as it was between them where she was sending him mixed messages in terms of how the relationship was progressing sexually speaking, he is now at a point where he needs to adjust to the shift from intimacy to more serious stuff. The OP said she wanted to hold off being intimate with him because she wanted a long term rel. and wants to think of marriage, but at the same time she was giving him mixed signals sexually speaking giving more than she was comfortable with and then pulling away. Now that she did decide to take it to the next level she needs to let him decide if he wants to proceed or not. Pressing him to come to her when he needs to pull away is going to be counter productive to what she ultimately wants. If he pulls away for good then it doesn't matter if she waited three more months if he was going to walk anyway. So chill out and let things rolls as they should. Calling him and asking him where you stand is not going to help. Letting him process what just went on will.
Touche Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 But they've had contact every day. Today he hadn't yet initiated it before 3 PM and was on the way out the door for a family outing. Honestly, there is no evidence that he is game playing, but I wouldn't minimize her feelings. She might do better with a different kind of guy who shares her values. EXACTLY! 'Nuff said!
Storyrider Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 That's exactly it. The right guy isn't going to give her anxiety attacks. He's also not going to jack around with the relationship thing. He's either in or he's not. redant has to realize this guy isn't committed yet and be comfortable with her situation. She shouldn't be looking at potential or potential for change. She needs to be happy with the now. I still don't buy that he is jacking around. As I said, there's no evidence of that. Some people need a break between intimate contact, to clear their heads. One day is nothing in the scheme of things. Maybe he just wants to enjoy missing her. But if she needs daily contact, you're right, she is wrong for him and vice versa.
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I still don't buy that he is jacking around. As I said, there's no evidence of that. Some people need a break between intimate contact, to clear their heads. One day is nothing in the scheme of things. Maybe he just wants to enjoy missing her. But if she needs daily contact, you're right, she is wrong for him and vice versa. No, I'm talking about the dating experience all along, where the guy isn't committing but still wants sex. The daily contact situation is moot. She's uncomfortable with the situation so she's feeling distressed. That's the point I was trying to make when making the comment about how it got to this point and why she's feeling the way she is.
Tomcat33 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I personally think he duped her into sex. He got it. Now he's not interested. She should have stuck to her guns and her own instinct in the first place. Because he didn't call for one day? :lmao:
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