haley121 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I need some advice. Please help. I try not to be the jealous type, but I found something odd yesterday (by accident) on my bf's computer. I was looking for some video clips on his computer. Yes, I should have just asked him for them, but too late now. Anyway, I found his porn folder, and I was about to click out because ya know, I don't like the idea of porn, but I get it: he's a guy. However, what caught my eye was that there were also a lot of random pictures of girls he knew (clothed) that it looks like he saved off of myspace. That was a bit weird but I was like ok...he's a guy, I guess. The thing that really got my attention was that he had a huge amount of pictures of his first ex-gf (also clothed). Many were just from the neck up or pictures of her with her friends. Almost all the pictures were recent pictures, NOT from when they were together. It looks like he's been saving them off of myspace for the last year. For almost 2 years now he's been telling me that he's completely over her. He was the one who broke up with her and everything. They still talk a few times a month because he says that they're good friends...They don't necessarily "hang out" or anything, and he tells me about every time he talks to her. I've been very trusting about their friendship. So, should I be worried? What is up with this? I get the porn. I get the pictures of random girls (though I don't like it). I don't get the many, many pictures of his ex. Has he been lying to me for over two years about his feelings for her or is this just some weird thing that guys sometimes do?
snoopy girl Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 haley121 looks like to me you have nothing to worry about, as long as he is up front with everything, only when you start catching him in lies about her would i be worried. about the pictures, i guess its no differant then having a snap shot in a box with all the other pictures, computors are the future and to have pictures of her is like putting them in his box. just hope he does not put new ones in it. its hard not to worry, i'm sure you have pictures of old bf. they mean nothing to you so they may mean nothing to him also.
Author haley121 Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 Snoopy girl, you say I should hope he doesn't add new pictures, but that's EXACTLY what he's doing. I mentioned that these were NEW pictures of her--not ones from when they were together but ones she's posted on myspace within the last year (some very recently). He wasn't even there when these pictures were taken. He's shown me the old pictures that he's kept of her, and I had no problem with that. I would never expect him to get rid of keepsakes/memories. He never showed me these new ones though (for obvious reasons). You're right: he's being honest about his contact with her (or at least I think so) but I worry he's not being honest about his feelings for her. He's done it to me before about a different girl, so I guess that's why I'm so worried. Nevertheless, I guess maybe I should just try and forget about the pictures and not bring anything up unless things start to become funny between the two of them.
MichelleS1983 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I was going to say that Snoopy must not have read the post correctly because they ARE new pictures being added that you'd found. Honestly, that's just creepy. I would have a big problem with that if it were my boyfriend squirreling pictures off the internet from his old girlfriend's MySpace (or perhaps he's been emailing her, requesting that she send them?) Either way - whether he's asking for them or just right-clicking them and saving them off a website, it speaks volumes. It's one thing to have pics from the time you dated - those are past memories. But he almost sounds obsessed if he's stock-piling current pictures of a gal he supposedly broke up with over 2 years ago. I'm not sure that you're getting the full story about his 'occasional' chats on the phone with her once or twice a month. I think where there's smoke, there's usually fire.
Author haley121 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 ahhh thank you Michelle. Everyone I've asked about it so far doesn't seem to think it's that big of a deal, but when I found them, I was incredibly freaked out. I know I should confront him but I really don't want to and I was trying to find a way out of it. I'm not really sure how to do it.. for one I'm going to have to admit I was poking around (even though I had good intentions), and I'm afraid of what he will say about the whole thing anyway. I'm not good with confrontation.
Heikenpaiva Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 i don't really have any advice for you, but i want to offer my sympathy. i'm going through something similar. my boyfriend of 6 years has his ex-girlfriend's myspace page bookmarked on his computer, and i don't know how to bring it up, and i don't want to, and i just wish it would go away. so i can kind of understand what you're going through. i hope whatever happens that you do find out the truth, because i think not knowing is much worse than pretending everything is ok when it might not be.
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