Goatsbreath Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 ok, I made it sense the 24th and i just called. I just arrived back at the apartment today from christmas vacation and ive noticed she has started moving her things out. She broke up with me about a month ago and told me she would be getting a new place. Needless to say seeing her stuff mostly gone caused a major break down for me today and I ended up calling. I convinced myself I was calling because there was vomit all over and she was taking care of my cats. I called and she did not answer at first but called back around 10 minutes later. I mainly just asked about the cats and if she knew which one was sick. I tried to stay strong but my voice may have cracked a few times. I remained civil and just asked how her christmas and new years was and it was a short conversation. She said she was at work on break so could not talk long. Sigh, looks like im starting over again. This was the longest I made it.
Knight_Ctrl Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I hear ya, I accidentally ran into a gift that my ex had gotten me while we were together. This caused a bad chain reaction, I broke down, called her....etc....**** was a mess and it sent me back to square one. Stay strong man, and don't call her again.
paperchase Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 and if you do call, make sure to end the call on your terms. don't let her say she's busy and has to go. be brief and act too busy yourself to carry on an extended conversation. it's a very effective technique.
californiadreaming Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 That call is a normal thing...Especially for us who are about a month into this. I have made that call a few times within the past 6 weeks. More then recently since I have gone full NC she has contacted me, asking about my well being, and so forth. At the same time you are truly alive. If things that you can visualize, hear, smell, or whatever can break you down, then you know you are a true human. Its all a part of all of this man. - I was out doing Karaoke with my family a few weeks back, heard a song, and broke down in front of a crowd of people. The Sh** is gonna hurt you if you truly love(d) this person.- The thing is your gonna have to tell yourself to not call. - If you truly pay attention.. Everything you feel, she feels it too.(especially if you had a serious relationship 3yrs+) So it may seem easy for her, or as in my case it may not, my ex is really sad about how things ended up, she is still upset with how I was, but we talk about it.- Anyways.. She is hurt too, and the main thing is this, If you don't contact her.. She wonders, She misses you, She thinks about why you are not calling her, or what your up to, and eventually she will contact you. Where if you contact her, she has no time to do any of that. So sort of look at it like that. You have to respect her space if she asked for it. Go back to my story, and look at how DMoney helped me get to where I am now. - I mean I am sad, honestly I am, but I know it takes time.- I want to call my ex, and ask her to go shopping with me tonight, but I'm not. I'm gonna go shopping alone. See a bunch of couples cuddled up in this cold weather, and feel sad. But hey it is what it is. In my case I am happy to see some progression in us even being able to communicate. So NC- Keep doing your thing. Just straight NC my man.
Author Goatsbreath Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 thanks for the input guys, the conversation ended with her asking if I would be at the apartment tomorrow. She said she would be coming over with her sisters husband and some of his friends to help move the heavy stuff. She said she would call first and I was like, um, "you don't have to." She didn't respond to that so she may call, she may not. I mean, I don't even know if she realizes im trying to do NC. I think she called once on the 26th during my stretch of NC from Dec 24th to Jan 2nd. I did not call her back and she did not leave a message. I say I think cuz it was blocked Id and her number always shows up like that. SO NOW....im sitting at the apartment this morning thinking. Should I get the hell out of here. Am I ready to see her again, should I see her. Maybe she will say something, give me a crumb of hope. What if she brings this new guy I know she likes from work to help her move. Would she really do that to me? Are they that serious? Blah, my head is telling me to go but something else is telling me I want her to see me as shes taking her stuff out of my life and tearing us apart.
climbergirl Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 My advice is to get out of the house. It's heartbreaking to come home to see her stuff gone, but it will be more heartbreaking to watch her pack. Don't wait for her to throw you a crumb, as my guess is she wouldn't do that anyway when a bunch of people are helping her move out. Keep your dignity and leave the house while she packs.
californiadreaming Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Do not sit around bro, It will kill you to see her right now. Do your self a favor and jam. Trust me. It's not worth the pain. I want to see my ex right now too, but I know its not the right time. - Just leave.
lovehim4ever Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I was on youtube today and saw a video that could help you deal with your break up. Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjJzA0Dz1Ok. I really hope this helps. I've been where you are and I know all about the pain that comes with a heart breaking breakup. Good luck with everything!
alwayssme Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 dont stress over it..it happens... just dont repeat it
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