I wasn't the best boyfriend and she cheated on me. How should I feel?

[emotionalydistraugt]

While we were going out I look back and I see I took her for granted. I tryed to think about all the bad stuff she did while we were together and the list is very small. She was for the most part a really good girlfriend. I stopped caring while we were together and I see now that we aren't together that I took her for granted. I never cheated on her or anything like that but I dont know if she did it because she didn't love me anymore or if it was because the distance was too much for her.

Now she is seeing someone else and it's harder than ever to get over her. She made out with this guy while we were together and now she doens't contact me at all. I feel miserable.

[EmperorR]

Number 1 cheating is never justified. What did she tell you, that she cheated on you because you weren't there or gave her enough attention:laugh:?

 

Nothing you could have done would have stopped her from cheating trust me, I treated my girl better than any guy ever in her life treated her I did everything for her, she would be nothing without me but she still cheated on me.

 

I know it's hard, but stop thinking about the past, nothing you could have done would have changed the inevitable.

[emotionalydistraugt]

But it's the feeling that I pushed her towards this. I have these regrets and I fear that if things go bad with this other guy and she comes running back I dont know what I'll do.

 

I know I shouldnt take her back but the fact I treated her not horribly but not as best as I could drove her to do this

[californiadreaming]

Cheating was my arena- what cheating comes down to is one of two things, it's either going to be because of some form of bi-polar or a few other disorders, or its going to be because of lack of self respect.

 

A b/f or g/f can be the sweetest but still have that cheater in them. I use to be that guy. I never have been faithful to anyone in all of my 28 years. I honestly had no clue what it was to be faithful. I have had drop dead beautiful women, who cook, clean, gave me great sex, etc.. But I grew up a player. I grew up a "so called" mack. It was what I knew -so I thought- I also sniffed balls of cocane, smoked pounds of kush, chronic, popped e pills, had unprotected sex with countless women, stole money from my parents, killed relationships with friends, became really paranoid, antisocial, depressed, couldn't hold a job, and everything else that a person with no self respect/love does.

 

So my point is if someone is going to not respect their self to the point to where they don't think about other peoples feelings, along with the love and pride they have for there temple.. Then you probably don't want to be with that person.

 

On the flipside, Maybe she did it because of the combo of you being an a** and far away. That a**hole guy is my arena too. - That is something you gotta take care of man. - Let me tell you from my experience. The one thing you never want to do is spend more then 3 years with a person -5 years in my case- and lose them because you were an a**hole. IT will eat you up. I deal with this everyday my man. It had to happen to me in order for me to change, but at the same time, I had to lose the best thing that ever happened to me in the end.- & I will be the first to say.. When your doped up, boozing, living that scum bag life, time flys by with out a care in the world. - But when you realize who you were, and you go from using to straightedge, ha ha then you are really dealing with some sh*t, let me tell you.

 

No drugs, no sex, no alcohol to run to? What the F**k am I suppose to do?

-and the answer to my everyday life now is to "live". Thats what I do. I can do with out everything that brought me to rock bottom.

 

Sorry for venting so hard but I have come a long way. and all I can say about your situation man is like Emporor said you can never justify cheating. period! - But we all mess up, if you can learn from it then the purpose, and lesson was learned. Either one or two things, move on, or work on yourself and give it time. - But numero uno - Do you!

 

Peace

[emotionalydistraugt]

The regret is becoming to hard to bear. I just wish I could go back and change it. I wasnt necessarily an as*hole because I know for the majority of the relationship she was happy but just knowing I could have done better is killing me. I know I wont make the same mistakes in the next relationship I'm in because I wont do this to myself again, even though it isnt all my fault:)