Lauriebell82 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 My friend has been single for around 6 months now and is having trouble meeting guys. She is 25 and attractive and very sweet. She has a good job and and her own apartment. She does well for herself. Now, she keeps wanting me to fix her up with guys, but I don't really know where to look! (She isn't into the online dating scene, and neither am I) My boyfriend has friends, however they are all either married, engaged, or in serious relationships. I try telling her to just keep herself busy and try not to so upset about the issue. So my question is where can a girl go to meet someone when she is out in the work force?
zhsoj Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Uhm... Online? We are not all computer game playing degenerates ya know...
BaD_Day Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 join some sort of clubs, any clubs, sport/activities... blah blah, even some martial art clubs... there's people everywhere and I think if you just go out there then there's bound to be someone who's interested. Online dating is such a bad thing IMO, there's no interactions and it's just talk, people are much happier when they're actually playing/doing stuff (bowling, movies, miniture golf, ect...)
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 Uhm... Online? We are not all computer game playing degenerates ya know... Oh, I know. She tried it a few times and it just wasn't for her. Nothing against online dating, she told me she just prefers to meet people face to face.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 join some sort of clubs, any clubs, sport/activities... blah blah, even some martial art clubs... there's people everywhere and I think if you just go out there then there's bound to be someone who's interested. Online dating is such a bad thing IMO, there's no interactions and it's just talk, people are much happier when they're actually playing/doing stuff (bowling, movies, miniture golf, ect...) Thanks! I think it's hard to "get out there" when you work full time and are exausted. My boyfriend and I try to get her to come out and do things with us but I don't think she enjoys being the third wheel. I think her issue is just that she doesn't "get out there." When we have a girl's night I try to get her to meet guys with me, but not to toot my own horn or anything but they end up trying to hit on me when I say I have a boyfriend!
Trialbyfire Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 If she works for a good-sized firm, there are always single men in other departments. Strange things happen. When you least expect it, someone comes along!
BaD_Day Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Thanks! I think it's hard to "get out there" when you work full time and are exausted. My boyfriend and I try to get her to come out and do things with us but I don't think she enjoys being the third wheel. I think her issue is just that she doesn't "get out there." When we have a girl's night I try to get her to meet guys with me, but not to toot my own horn or anything but they end up trying to hit on me when I say I have a boyfriend! Well, you know there's no free lunch ... if you want something bad enough you'll just have to do it. Girl's night out is so intimidating for guys, they see bunches of girls but it's hard to know which one is available haha. It doesn't have to be anything intense, there's probably some light work out group or painting/drawing... that sort of crap is not too much work and it's a good way to relax after work, it also doesn't have to be an everyday thing, it can be on weekends only ect... PS: I'm against dating in the work place, so much crap will raise up if something happen ... stay away from the work place.
kashmir Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Um, she's an apparently attractive woman. All she needs to do is go out in public and let the guys come.
Star Gazer Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Nothing against online dating, she told me she just prefers to meet people face to face. Get this... When you actually "meet" someone from online, you actually DO meet them face-to-face. Online is just the mechanism by which the two people are placed face-to-face to begin with. Due to their busy lives, so many people are relying on online dating as their mechanism to meet people. If your friend removes herself from that pool, she's doing herself no favors.
mortensorchid Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Hey, I've asked myself this question many times. I tell you that I have tried to join organizations and take classes (art classes, karate, etc.) and when I get there they're filled with children. I mean children who haven't yet achieved puberty yet type of children, not teenagers even. Other times when I have joined coed sports teams, only to find that the people there were anti-social and weird. Ask them "So ... What do you do for a living?" and they would say "God, talking to you is like being on a job interview or something!" I stopped making efforts, eventually people one by one dropped out. The best way to meet people? Dumb luck as well as having someone introduce you to someone else. Fact of the matter is that it happens when it happens. We sit at home and want and wish and whatever else, but it simply doesn't happen until it's time. We get frustrated, as we always do, but we have to simply accept that whatever will be will be.
BaD_Day Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Hey, I've asked myself this question many times. I tell you that I have tried to join organizations and take classes (art classes, karate, etc.) and when I get there they're filled with children. I mean children who haven't yet achieved puberty yet type of children, not teenagers even. Other times when I have joined coed sports teams, only to find that the people there were anti-social and weird. Ask them "So ... What do you do for a living?" and they would say "God, talking to you is like being on a job interview or something!" I stopped making efforts, eventually people one by one dropped out. The best way to meet people? Dumb luck as well as having someone introduce you to someone else. Fact of the matter is that it happens when it happens. We sit at home and want and wish and whatever else, but it simply doesn't happen until it's time. We get frustrated, as we always do, but we have to simply accept that whatever will be will be. haha, that sounds like it's kindda fun... I do agree, sometimes it's just dumb luck, but in order to win the lottory you just have to play it, can't win if you don't play.
BubblyPopcorn Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 If she works for a good-sized firm, there are always single men in other departments. Strange things happen. When you least expect it, someone comes along! That's true, the last guy was completely unexpected and I actually just met someone on vacation who lives in the same area where I'm from so it does in fact happen. I did the online thing only once and it just wasn't for me, my last LTR I met while I was on a bowling team (lol) and the one before that through friends so sometimes nature take it's course on its own.
crosswordfiend Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 The best way to meet people? Dumb luck as well as having someone introduce you to someone else. Fact of the matter is that it happens when it happens. We sit at home and want and wish and whatever else, but it simply doesn't happen until it's time. We get frustrated, as we always do, but we have to simply accept that whatever will be will be. I'm with you on this one. The only other thing to add is that dumb luck doesn't strike as often as we would like, so it's important to recognize the situation and seize the opportunity when it presents itself.
hotdancer2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 meetup.com. It's a great way to meet people with similar interests in a low key way.
LostNLonely Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 She should try meeting men at the grocery store. Why? Because single men stand-out like sore thumbs at the grocery store. It's obvious who is shopping for one. Just look for the guy who is pushing the cart with motor oil, steak and beer with maybe a couple of rolls of toilet paper. If he's cute enough, or whatever appeals to her, she should make eye-contact and smile at him. All she has to do is linger around the frozen foods isle and wait for him to make his way there, he'll show up, somewhere between the frozen waffles and frozen french fries should make for another chance meeting. If she needs an ice-breaker, she should try something like "I see your packing plenty of meat there handsome" or ...well, that one's golden and has always worked on me! I know what your thinking, it's too cliche' but I have picked up a lot of women at the grocery store and not all of them were skanks. I do stuff like crash my cart into theirs by accident, make lewd and obscene comments and jokes, like "those are some pretty big melons you've got" when they have some melons in their cart or "nice buns" when they have a package of buns in their basket" or I just start small talking them up about anything, maybe compliment them on their eyes, ear-rings or shoes, so with men, go with the same thing, their eyes, start talking sports if their wearing a jersey with some sports team plastered across it, or maybe something else. The point is it works! Tell her to try it, oh, and she doesn't have to do it once a week on her schedule, tell her to make it a daily thing, and try it at more than one store in her area. I'm betting she finds a guy in less than a week. Remind her to do a background check to....you can never be too careful!
You'reasian Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 My friend has been single for around 6 months now and is having trouble meeting guys. She is 25 and attractive and very sweet. She has a good job and and her own apartment. She does well for herself. Now, she keeps wanting me to fix her up with guys, but I don't really know where to look! (She isn't into the online dating scene, and neither am I) My boyfriend has friends, however they are all either married, engaged, or in serious relationships. I try telling her to just keep herself busy and try not to so upset about the issue. So my question is where can a girl go to meet someone when she is out in the work force? Has she carefully looked at her own male friends? Perhaps she could re-connect with one of her old highschool or college classmates whom she was on good terms with and play catch up. If you grew up together, chances are that you guys probably have had more than a few things in common - and that's a plus. If timing and circumstances are right for the two of you, can't see why you wouldn't be able to take it to the next level.
LostNLonely Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Has she carefully looked at her own male friends? Perhaps she could re-connect with one of her old highschool or college classmates whom she was on good terms with and play catch up. If you grew up together, chances are that you guys probably have had more than a few things in common - and that's a plus. If timing and circumstances are right for the two of you, can't see why you wouldn't be able to take it to the next level. It's that last line dude...your suggesting this woman drop her boyfriend and engage in a lesbian love affair:eek:...it may be time to turn off the television in the background so you can concentrate on the posts you read...too funny:laugh:
BubblyPopcorn Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 It's that last line dude...your suggesting this woman drop her boyfriend and engage in a lesbian love affair:eek:...it may be time to turn off the television in the background so you can concentrate on the posts you read...too funny:laugh: lol, I just figured out what that post meant.
LostNLonely Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Sorry but you would get a phone number from a classy woman with the lines "nice buns" or "melons" at a grocery store, only skanky ones. nice You meant to say would not get...I know, you'd think that now wouldn't you? You'd be shocked the number of BA's & PHD's I met while cruising the grocery store, many requested my phone number, some even suggested dinner and drinks that evening, the skanks were mostly the clerks and auxiliary staff that worked in them, if you check out my other posts, you'll see I have fessed up to a rather high score-card, most came from the GS. And as successful as that was, it paled in comparison to my johnny-on-the-spot road-side mechanic service act (shop class really paid-off), and when I worked as a DPS officer in Texas, well, nothing gets the ladies going like a uniform, complete with a badge and gun, that was too easy. Oh, a skank doesn't mean hairy legs, tattoo's and a scary looking face, it just means...well, keeping it nice...a work-out partner, I was a bit of a sex-addict once upon a time ago, part and parcel of my disorder (bipolar)>
Isolde Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Strange things happen. When you least expect it, someone comes along! I wish us single girls could believe this advice that everyone seems to give... that I can just go about my day, do what makes me happy and some guy will come along. Not that I don't value your insight, TBF, but it doens't seem to be true in my experience.
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I wish us single girls could believe this advice that everyone seems to give... that I can just go about my day, do what makes me happy and some guy will come along. Not that I don't value your insight, TBF, but it doens't seem to be true in my experience. This works for me so it's the advice I give. This doesn't mean that every single day of my life is over-run with accidental meetings with guys where we passionately fall in love. I've met some great guys this way. I've also met some great guys through friends, were part of my dating pool of male non-close friends, or through work. I've been relationship-averse for much of this year and parts of last year. I've just started dating an amazing man, when I least expected it. It's a wonderful feeling to want to be in a relationship again. Let's see where this chance meeting goes.
Isolde Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 This works for me so it's the advice I give. This doesn't mean that every single day of my life is over-run with accidental meetings with guys where we passionately fall in love. I've met some great guys this way. I've also met some great guys through friends, were part of my dating pool of male non-close friends, or through work. I've been relationship-averse for much of this year and parts of last year. I've just started dating an amazing man, when I least expected it. It's a wonderful feeling to want to be in a relationship again. Let's see where this chance meeting goes. Fair enough. Maybe it'll work for me someday, too. I'm happy you're feeling good... is this the guy who digged your car out or someone else?
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Fair enough. Maybe it'll work for me someday, too. I'm happy you're feeling good... is this the guy who digged your car out or someone else? Thanks. Yes, it's the snowman, although there were aspects of my life and perspectives that needed to happen/shift, before feeling this way.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 Wow, lots of reponses. I'll try to respond as best I can: What SG said about online dating:I do not know the details of why she is put off by it. All she has said is that it is "not her cup of tea." I havn't really been in the dating pool for very long during my 20's (2 serious long term relationships with 9 months in between), therefore I didn't really date online very much. I tried it once and met an a-hole so I never went back. I'm not going to push her on that though. As for what TBF said about randomly meeting people by chance: I met both my boyfriends that way, one at a club and my current at the gym. I agree that you can meet someone by chance but I do think you gotta have some "lines or moves." I don't have any problems meeting guys, I never have. But for some reason she has real trouble. I don't think she really has the guts to try to initiate a convo or use some kind of line. I try to help her when we go out, but like I said the dudes end up being more interested in me then her. Oh, and co-worker relationships are a bad idea. I had one in high school with a guy who I worked with and it ended so badly that I ended up quitting because I couldn't stand to work with him. I could mention that to her, as I'm not sure how she feels about them. You all have some good ideas! She's so sad and lonely and I feel bad.
D-Jam Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 My friend has been single for around 6 months now and is having trouble meeting guys. She is 25 and attractive and very sweet. She has a good job and and her own apartment. She does well for herself. Now, she keeps wanting me to fix her up with guys, but I don't really know where to look! (She isn't into the online dating scene, and neither am I) My boyfriend has friends, however they are all either married, engaged, or in serious relationships. I try telling her to just keep herself busy and try not to so upset about the issue. So my question is where can a girl go to meet someone when she is out in the work force? Your coworkers? Friends of your boyfriend who might be single? Friends/relatives of his take friends who are single? She should also engage in sociable hobbies...like meetups.
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