Bells Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Lately, I've met alot of people that prefer to live within the same town as their parents...and prefer not to relocate. If they are single, even if it means relocating for a mate or new boyfriend, they might not do it. But, I am noticing this alot lately with single people...some that used to live in the big city on their own...but decided they wanted to move back to the town they grew up in and secure in the fact that they are back around people they know and love. I think this is great, because, face it, our families are the only people we got sometimes...as opposed to some prospective boyfriend/girlfriend. But is this boardering on the "momma's boy/ daddy's girl" senario? In some cases, this has drawn a wedge with married couples....one husband I knew of had to actually give up a job with a BIG Government agency (we're talking like high security IT job) because the wife still didn't want to leave the same town as her parents. They just don't want to give up their friends and family for tha t kind of thing at times. Of course there's always variations to situations. But can this be a hinderance in dating? Mates that choose to live near their relatives as oppose to "splitting off"and leaving with a boyfriend/girlfriend?
BCCA Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I think relocating for a gf/bf is a big risk, especially if it's in another state/country. What happens if it doesn't work out? Then you're all alone far away from your friends and family. Sure, you can always make new friends, but there is no replacement for your family. Can it be a hinderance in dating? Only you can decide what level of this you can tolerate. Obviously, some people find the comforts of home hard to walk away from, but there are definitely extremes, too.
carhill Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 In our case my wife wanted to leave (California) but I have to stay to manage my mother's care until she dies. Life isn't always simple and clear-cut. So, in typical female fashion, my wife buys a house a mile from my mom's house and close to her nursing home. I don't want to be *that* close IME, with my generation, I don't see signs of the OP at all. The old folks in my mom's neighborhood rarely see their adult children, who are spread to the wind all over the world (from what the folks tell me). These are people who've lived in the same homes for over 50 years and knew me when I was two feet tall. So, from my very small sample, I am the exception, rather than the rule, for the "around 50" crowd.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Being around family and relatives creates security, especially for people who are an only child. But it also shows that they're psychologically unable to go and experience certain things on their own. I think it's all about little steps. If they can take the time to slowly break free of their parental influences, they're less likely to always run home to mom and dad.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I'd say it really depends on how close you are to your family. I get along okay with my family - just spent a week and a half visiting them around Christmastime. But I couldn't wait to get out of my home state. I moved to be with my then-BF-now-XH. I'm in a totally different state than where I grew up, but don't feel any more alone than I would in my hometown. I've made a life for myself in this area, regardless of the relationship with my X. I think that being so close to family that you grew up with can cause some issues. I see and hear about it when my siblings lived close to my mom, or to each other. Drama ensues. LOL I'm quite content to be in a different state from any of them. I really think this is one of those issues, though, that you need to be compatible on with a future mate - how important their birth family is to keep close to them.
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