redfathom Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Don't know if this has been said, but to me the text "Happy 2009" isn't personal enough to mean anything. He probrably send a mass text out to a bunch of people in his address book which is why it only said "Happy 2009"...
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 Don't know if this has been said, but to me the text "Happy 2009" isn't personal enough to mean anything. He probrably send a mass text out to a bunch of people in his address book which is why it only said "Happy 2009"... That's the point: I didn't answer the personal texts nor to his calls..my silence meant that it's over, that is what he wanted and I am ok! I am not available anymore. But to a stupid "Best Wishes etc.." text, you reply because it means "I don't want anything from you, but I wish you well." That's about being a Lady. I will tell you also this: I had a bf many years ago, then we broke up. Well, could u believe that he has been NC with me for 8 years today? Do you think I believe that he just moved on? On the contrary, I am aware somehow I hurted him so much since he doesn't even reply to bday wishes. Though, I wish him well anyway.
stray_cat Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 so why did that text message made you react like "OH MY GOD HE IS BACK, YEP WERE DEFINITELY GETTING BACK TOGETHER!!!" if you're silence means its over and your ok and that your not available anymore?
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 so why did that text message made you react like "OH MY GOD HE IS BACK, YEP WERE DEFINITELY GETTING BACK TOGETHER!!!" if you're silence means its over and your ok and that your not available anymore? Stray_Cat..I really didn't expect him to show up at that stage. He's the kind of guy that has EVERYTHING and can have whoever he wants.. When we saw again, I could feel he is still attracted from me. No wonder. But when we had the chance to talk, he was like "I didn't miss u", I honestly admitted to him I missed him so badly. But while I was saying that, I had a smile on my face..for everything we had been able to live and feel. I also added that I discovered inside me a strenght I didn't know I could have. I think he had the time to think about everything..I think he will go back to me. I can't put pressure on him though, I have to wait him to be ready.
starzphalling Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 is this thread getting so many reads/replies just out of disbelief?? where is DSM-IV tom when u need him.
FeedingOnFever Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Please be wary. You mentioned that you could feel his eyes on you all night. My ex did the same thing: he watched me nonstop when we were forced to be in the same place together. He had this sappy, gut-wrenching look on his face and was pale as a ghost. It seemed like the symptoms of remorse, regret and a broken heart at the time. But I found out on that even during that time when he couldn't take his eyes off of me, that he had already replaced me with another girl. What I'm trying to say is, glances, "check up" text messages, and calls have happened to me too. They were his guilty conscience wanting to make sure I was okay. It was his selfishness trying to win me back as a friend... to have his cake and eat it too. Please be careful. I thought my ex wanted me back too, for a brief few days. That made the realization of the truth so, so much worse. Take care of yourself, and although it is almost impossible when it comes to someone who is so tied up in your life, try to guard your heart and your hopes.
FF84 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 As ever, do what you feel you have to do and good luck with it. But I wouldn't get your hopes up. I look forward to the next 10 pages of this thread....
Geishawhelk Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Hurry up, the ringside seats are going fast. The Law of Attractions seems to have brought you a lot of criticism on here - but as yet, still no Positive feedback from Romeo, AT ALL..... The only good thing that book is doing is bringing the Author in lots and lots of dollars, all riding on the back of gullible people..... Shoot, but it's a crying shame.... Not everything you wish for will come your way. And not in the way you think. "Be careful what you wish for".... is a good saying to remember. Don't hold your breath, TB...... I think it's all going to end in tears.....
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 WTF No news from him still !!
RM0123 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Frankly, it's pathetic. It's no wonder all of us as dumpees on here got dumped. When you see how most of us have handled the breakups we've had you can see recurring themes: neediness, lonliness, desperation, a lack of self respect, self pity, clingyness etc Are any of these characteristics attractive? NO! That is so true. But how do we overcome these feelings? And how do we know when someone doesn't deserve a second chance? I agree with the rest on this thread though. It does not sound like a good situation. But is it always the wrong thing to do to take someone back?
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 is this thread getting so many reads/replies just out of disbelief?? where is DSM-IV tom when u need him. Right here. This girl is living in the Twilight Zone. How can you call him narcissistic? That implies you know something of psychology. And if you know something of psychology, then you damn well understand something isn't right in your head. They say only 2% of people who break up, REALLY get "back together". And 1% of that fails. If you think you're in the 1% that will succeed and true love will prevail, then you are the narcissist. I suggest you research narcissism. It involves the belief that true love conquers all. You're walking down a dead end path. Start banging your head along the wall as you walk, maybe you'll knock some sense into yourself. You will never be happy with this guy again. Straight up. Come on now.
Geishawhelk Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 I mean the only one who is surprised by this, is you. We've all tried to tell you, you read way too much into this, but you insisted that you knew - you just knew - you were absolutely right for one another, and that you know him so well, and you're just absolutely convinced destiny has you marked as a couple. The trouble is - as we tried to tell you - he's not aware of this.
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 So, according to you and to STATISTICS what's going to happen next?
Geishawhelk Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 You are going to sit there, like Pollyanna, convinced that at one point, this will all pick up again, and it's written in the stars, because you're practising the Law of Attraction, right? And he's going to go on with his life, oblivious, and quite happily ignorant, because he's practising the law of repulsion. In other words - you're going to go on, dreaming on.
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 What will happen next? Well, you'll keep waiting like a pet for their master. He may come back briefly, but once he witnesses you're starving for him, he'll get turned off most likely and bounce away like a basketball in a hurricane. You'll never see him again after that probably. The question is not necessarily what will happen next. The question you should be asking is what should YOU be doing NOW. The answer to that is write this guy off, straight up. You can ignore what I tell you, and what everyone tells you. But it'll only hit you harder when you find out we were all right, the hard way. Then you'll REALLY be beating yourself up. There are 4 billion other males on Earth. Come on, get a fishing rod and go fishing, because there's a lot in the ocean. (Hope you catch that metaphor). Look, I know the pain. I lost the girl I love 2 months ago and everyday is a different type of hell. I held onto hope for a while too and thought I'd defy statistics and advice and odds, because I "knew better". Well, I found out I was an idiot as far as that pride went. "One day you'll understand why they say that pride is the sign of a foolish man"
starzphalling Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 there we go, that's what i was waiting for.
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 You are going to sit there, like Pollyanna, convinced that at one point, this will all pick up again, and it's written in the stars, because you're practising the Law of Attraction, right? And he's going to go on with his life, oblivious, and quite happily ignorant, because he's practising the law of repulsion. In other words - you're going to go on, dreaming on. Yes, you are definetely right..I mean, a lot of people refer to me as "Pollyanna" since it seems I have the capacity to find Beauty also in the worst moments: I take them pretty much as challenges. To be honest, I still think we 'll end back together. Still, I don't know when. The present situation, I would like to remind you, is that he contacted me 5 times after 1 month an a half of complete NC from my side..and ignoring him I delivered him a quite clear message: I am not available anymore. I would say that at the moment the ball is in my court. Anyway, I have a flight scheduled for next Friday, so it seems fair to me to wait another couple of days for him to show up. Eventually, I could even call him and ask for a definitive answer. As soon as I take that plane, I will consider the story definetely over and move on.
Geishawhelk Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 You really have no clue what that definitive answer will be? It will either be - "Hell, no!" or something to the tune of: "I'm kinda busy living my life now, and looking for someone else, but if all else fails, I'll be back. In the meantime, hang around....." Just shove it, and move on!!
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 No news from him.. Tonight I was talking with a friend of mine, saying her with a glass of wine in my hand "You know what? Seeing his name dispayed on the phone and knowing you're not gonna answer..There's something money can't buy, for everything else there's Mastercard." What a fool of myself! Sheinformes me that he invited the girl he was dating for NYE here where we live! The very same girl he told another friend was worth only one shot! And on 1th January texting me anyway.. I feel the urge to call him and yell at him and ask him WHAT THE F*** he wants from me still! I am mad at him..
Geishawhelk Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Still think you'll end up together? Fer chrissakes, throw that "Law of Attraction" trash in the can, and get on with enjoying your life without a text book! Hurt him in a way that would hurt the most! Go out and date somebody!!
mm4184 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 what i heard about the law of attraction is that you can wish for all those things, but you can't change someone's mind or "will" them to you because they have their own free will just like you. you can "attract" what your ideal mate might be, but it doesn't necessarily mean it will be your ex. hope that makes sense. and btw, my ex contacted me A LOT starting a month after we broke up. even contacted my sister and my friends asking about me. and yes, it gave me false hope. but then when i gave in to it and saw him, it wasn't worth it because it didn't make him want me back. he wanted me in his life and my dumbass let it happen for awhile, but it was never the same. if you really want to get back with him, i'd hope that you'd want a complete FRESH start and not the way you guys used to be that resulted in the break up because then you'd just be living a cycle. and in order for that FRESH start to happen, if ever, you're going to have to move on and not have any hope of reconciliation. if you are meant to be, you will be. and maybe by the time he changes and comes around, you won't want him anymore and you'll be with someone who deserves you (i keep hoping for the same thing)
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 Still think you'll end up together? Fer chrissakes, throw that "Law of Attraction" trash in the can, and get on with enjoying your life without a text book! Hurt him in a way that would hurt the most! Go out and date somebody!! Geisha, let me tell you this: he dumped me on a f***** Sunday morning. The following wednesday at night I was in another Country, lying in an oudoor Jacuzzi pool, drinking Moet and having sex like for 5 times with a very hot, hot guy. Just to introduce myself.
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 what i heard about the law of attraction is that you can wish for all those things, but you can't change someone's mind or "will" them to you because they have their own free will just like you. you can "attract" what your ideal mate might be, but it doesn't necessarily mean it will be your ex. hope that makes sense. and btw, my ex contacted me A LOT starting a month after we broke up. even contacted my sister and my friends asking about me. and yes, it gave me false hope. but then when i gave in to it and saw him, it wasn't worth it because it didn't make him want me back. he wanted me in his life and my dumbass let it happen for awhile, but it was never the same. if you really want to get back with him, i'd hope that you'd want a complete FRESH start and not the way you guys used to be that resulted in the break up because then you'd just be living a cycle. and in order for that FRESH start to happen, if ever, you're going to have to move on and not have any hope of reconciliation. if you are meant to be, you will be. and maybe by the time he changes and comes around, you won't want him anymore and you'll be with someone who deserves you (i keep hoping for the same thing) Yes you are right. I am definitely moving on. No more setbacks. I will concentrate on where I want to be next year this time. I will shift my focus (I think about him 24h) WHATEVER IT TAKES.
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