Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Yes. Almost 2 months of hell after he dumped me on a sunny Sunday morning.. I did like everybody: I tried to convince him that there was something special between us; I asked him another chance; I begged him not to throw away our future. He never answered. That happened on that unforgettable Sunday: on the following day I made the resolution to go NC, not to contact him ever again whatever it would take. Was it difficult? It was pure hell. It was even worst when I was told he was dating another girl, it was unbearable to realize that a friend of mine was now his friend and they were hanging out together. Yes, I experimented pain, but I NEVER loose the hope I would manage my way through. When we saw again, I felt like a rock. A magic night in which I could feel his eyes on me all the time. I ignored him. He texted me. "Nice to see you again." I ignored him. He called me. Two times. I ignored him. He texted me again."Are you around?Give me a call" And I still ignored him. He finally texted me " Happy 2009" And I answered him "Thanx, I hope this year will bring you everything you want". And now, beloved loveshakers, I am ready to give us another chance. Please, tell me now what it's going to happen!!!!! I can feel him, God I can feel him..
Geishawhelk Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 The dumb@$$ thing was to send him a text. I'll tell you what's going to happen now. Back to square one, that's what.
FF84 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 And now, beloved loveshakers, I am ready to give us another chance. Please, tell me now what it's going to happen!!!!! I can feel him, God I can feel him.. You're ready to give it another chance? Sorry, but he dumped you, it's not your decision to make. And clearly he knows he can still have you. Are you prepared to feed his ego and end up getting hurt? All you've done is exchanged a few texts, why get so excited? This is the exact reason why NC is advocated so much. I'd prepare yourself for more agony. Don't be this guy's plaything, show yourself some respect.
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 The dumb@$$ thing was to send him a text. I'll tell you what's going to happen now. Back to square one, that's what. It was fair to answer his "Happy 2009"..it was just his way to get in contact with me. During the last 2 months he had the time to miss me..now he wants me back. That's how I see it. I am not back to square one, I am exactly where I wanted to be. I want him, I won't get back with him if I keep on ignoring him. I am just waiting for him to pronounce the right words. We are meant to be together, I just know it.
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 You're ready to give it another chance? Sorry, but he dumped you, it's not your decision to make. And clearly he knows he can still have you. Are you prepared to feed his ego and end up getting hurt? All you've done is exchanged a few texts, why get so excited? This is the exact reason why NC is advocated so much. I'd prepare yourself for more agony. Don't be this guy's plaything, show yourself some respect. I will tell you what is going to happen next. He will contact me again and again..we will get back together. That's what I want.
Citizen Erased Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 It was fair to answer his "Happy 2009"..it was just his way to get in contact with me. During the last 2 months he had the time to miss me..now he wants me back. That's how I see it. I am not back to square one, I am exactly where I wanted to be. I want him, I won't get back with him if I keep on ignoring him. I am just waiting for him to pronounce the right words. We are meant to be together, I just know it. How do you know? Maybe he just wants sex. Or to at least see that you are still an option for him. Has he actually said "I want you back"? If not I wouldn't be getting your hopes up. Obviously at this point you are not meant to be together or...well you would be.
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 Yes, I understand your point of view. I am not saying he's desperately in love with me..I am saying that I can feel he's ready to give us another chance. I know him pretty well..he's extremely proud, narcisistic: if he sent me those texts it means he still cares about us. I won't have sex with him again if no commitment is involved anyway.
Hersheys Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I hope he takes it further and tells you what everyone in this side of LS have been hoping for with their exes :" I was an idiot and made a big mistake for letting you go. I want to prove to you that I deserve to be a part of your life again. Could you give me another chance and take me back?" Good luck Tinkerbell!
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 I hope he takes it further and tells you what everyone in this side of LS have been hoping for with their exes :" I was an idiot and made a big mistake for letting you go. I want to prove to you that I deserve to be a part of your life again. Could you give me another chance and take me back?" Good luck Tinkerbell! OOOOOOOOOOOOH GOD! Let's hope this is going to happen
Geishawhelk Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I am not saying he's desperately in love with me..I am saying that I can feel he's ready to give us another chance. That wouldn't be good enough for me. I'd want the very best. I wouldn't settle for second best. I know him pretty well..he's extremely proud, narcisistic: if he sent me those texts it means he still cares about us. . So at the drop of a hat, you'd take him back? Even with his pride and narcissism? Yeuch! This is ridiculous. I'm through talking to myself, responding to people who have received all the best advice in the world, but still insist after all they've said and done, that re-connecting would work. It wouldn't and it won't. But you go ahead and hold out hope and find out the hard way. This has got 'failure' written all over it, in big red flags. you can do much better than this, Tinkerbelll.....But it seems you're prepared to settle for crud, and not get the best for yourself you ever could. Which is not this guy.
FF84 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 if he sent me those texts it means he still cares about us. There is nothing in those texts that says he wants you back. Just because he cares it doesn't mean he wants you, i care about my friends and i miss them when i don't see them - but does that mean i want to jump in to bed with them? Geishawhelk is right. Why people bother posting on this site i don't know. Nobody listens to the advice that is given. When it's told exactly how it is people just ignore it. But when people pussyfoot around and are all sympathetic to the dumpees and show them any hint of hope they cling on to it and read so much more into it than is actually there. Frankly, it's pathetic. It's no wonder all of us as dumpees on here got dumped. When you see how most of us have handled the breakups we've had you can see recurring themes: neediness, lonliness, desperation, a lack of self respect, self pity, clingyness etc Are any of these characteristics attractive? NO!
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 you're getting really good advice from everyone here tinkerbell, and you should listen. saying he wants you back, based on your own feelings of the situation means nothing. you have no idea what's running through his head. you will end up driving yourself nuts, convincing yourself he wants you, and when he doesn't, you've set yourself up for an even bigger fall. don't set your hopes on these text messages. they mean nothing. take them at face value. if he wanted you back, he'd be able to let you know with more than just "happy 2009" Besides, i don't know him, but if he's as proud as you imply, he'll probably be too proud to say he made a mistake and come back. guys like that don't admit they're wrong. don't be his plaything. have some self respect and move on.
paperchase Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Tinkerbell: There is absolutely nothing in those texts or the fact that your received them to indicate he's ready to come back. You are grasping at straws. Of course he cares if you two were ever in love. And of course ignoring him will spark some curiosity. But caring and curiosity are not enough to get excited about. He's not ready and if he ever gets ready, it will take a whole lot more than what you have described. BTW, that NYE text was terrible. If you had to text at all you should have kept it unemotional. "Thanks, you too." But you took a little underhanded jab as if to almost suggest that his decision to leave you would not turn out so well. If he's a narcissist like you say, that will make him more stubborn than ever when it comes to asking you back which is basically admitting he was wrong. I'm going to stop writing because I know you're not taking any of our advice.
saturnfell Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 You really should get a better understanding of what he's thinking right now before you go the extra mile. If he wants to make an honest attempt, ok. If he was just saying 'hello' then you need to know this. If there is no chance of anything with him, you need to find this out. I understand your point of view, but please do yourself a favor and find out what he's thinking before you allow yourself to think about things which might happen.
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 That wouldn't be good enough for me. I'd want the very best. I wouldn't settle for second best. So at the drop of a hat, you'd take him back? Even with his pride and narcissism? Yeuch! This is ridiculous. I'm through talking to myself, responding to people who have received all the best advice in the world, but still insist after all they've said and done, that re-connecting would work. It wouldn't and it won't. But you go ahead and hold out hope and find out the hard way. This has got 'failure' written all over it, in big red flags. you can do much better than this, Tinkerbelll.....But it seems you're prepared to settle for crud, and not get the best for yourself you ever could. Which is not this guy. Ok, so which is your advice? I guess it is something like "move on, look for Mr Right etc..". I had great support from LS, though I have to admit that we tend to look for universal answers, ignoring that "rules"are changing all the time. I would like to point out that from the first moment I didn't allow me to cry or fall in dispair: I took this experience as a GIFT to make myself stronger. I dated other guys, took planes, enjoyed sex also. But I knew, I know I still want him. NC has been both part of a necessary healing process and part of a plan to get him back, which is still my ultimate goal. I have the strenght to let it go, but I have made a clear decision: to get back with him. I will keep you up to the date.
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 There is nothing in those texts that says he wants you back. Just because he cares it doesn't mean he wants you, i care about my friends and i miss them when i don't see them - but does that mean i want to jump in to bed with them? Geishawhelk is right. Why people bother posting on this site i don't know. Nobody listens to the advice that is given. When it's told exactly how it is people just ignore it. But when people pussyfoot around and are all sympathetic to the dumpees and show them any hint of hope they cling on to it and read so much more into it than is actually there. Frankly, it's pathetic. It's no wonder all of us as dumpees on here got dumped. When you see how most of us have handled the breakups we've had you can see recurring themes: neediness, lonliness, desperation, a lack of self respect, self pity, clingyness etc Are any of these characteristics attractive? NO! Yes, maybe it is pathetic. But I'll tell you something: I AM STRONGER than everything that goes around me. I am ok even without him, as I had the chance to prove myself during the last two months, but I DO WANT to stay with him. And I will get it. Of course we do not know each other, because among the characteristics you mentioned I don't feel any of them describe me.
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 you're getting really good advice from everyone here tinkerbell, and you should listen. saying he wants you back, based on your own feelings of the situation means nothing. you have no idea what's running through his head. you will end up driving yourself nuts, convincing yourself he wants you, and when he doesn't, you've set yourself up for an even bigger fall. don't set your hopes on these text messages. they mean nothing. take them at face value. if he wanted you back, he'd be able to let you know with more than just "happy 2009" Besides, i don't know him, but if he's as proud as you imply, he'll probably be too proud to say he made a mistake and come back. guys like that don't admit they're wrong. don't be his plaything. have some self respect and move on. It means something if you believe in The Law of Attraction Yes, he's proud..but he called me 2 times in a row and texted me after 2 MONTHS. Come on guys, don't play like this happens everyday
northstar1 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 It means something if you believe in The Law of Attraction Yes, he's proud..but he called me 2 times in a row and texted me after 2 MONTHS. Come on guys, don't play like this happens everyday I'm guessing you read the "Secret" as well. Sigh. I really hope it works out for you, but please don't build up that tower of hope too high.
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 Tinkerbell: There is absolutely nothing in those texts or the fact that your received them to indicate he's ready to come back. You are grasping at straws. Of course he cares if you two were ever in love. And of course ignoring him will spark some curiosity. But caring and curiosity are not enough to get excited about. He's not ready and if he ever gets ready, it will take a whole lot more than what you have described. BTW, that NYE text was terrible. If you had to text at all you should have kept it unemotional. "Thanks, you too." But you took a little underhanded jab as if to almost suggest that his decision to leave you would not turn out so well. If he's a narcissist like you say, that will make him more stubborn than ever when it comes to asking you back which is basically admitting he was wrong. I'm going to stop writing because I know you're not taking any of our advice. What does it means " But you took a little underhanded jab as if to almost suggest that his decision to leave you would not turn out so well. "? Your advice is greatly appreciated, anyway it seems to me that here everybody keeps saying "IGNORE HIM", and I did it at the beginning (if you have the chance, read my previous posts) but at the end I just realized that he has not the power to hurt me anymore.. Don't forget that I went through massive pain when he disappeared, when I was told he was with another girl and also when he started dating whom I thought was a very close friend of mine. As far as I am concerned, I did move on from the very first moment. Now I would like us to be ready to give it a try again. As I mentioned before, I WON'T contact him again..I will just wait for the right words at the proper time, if they will ever come. I am not in a hurry. In the meantime, let me assure that I won't stay home waiting for his call.
EmperorR Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 There is nothing in those texts that says he wants you back. Just because he cares it doesn't mean he wants you, i care about my friends and i miss them when i don't see them - but does that mean i want to jump in to bed with them? Geishawhelk is right. Why people bother posting on this site i don't know. Nobody listens to the advice that is given. When it's told exactly how it is people just ignore it. But when people pussyfoot around and are all sympathetic to the dumpees and show them any hint of hope they cling on to it and read so much more into it than is actually there. Frankly, it's pathetic. It's no wonder all of us as dumpees on here got dumped. When you see how most of us have handled the breakups we've had you can see recurring themes: neediness, lonliness, desperation, a lack of self respect, self pity, clingyness etc Are any of these characteristics attractive? NO! Because everyone thinks they have something special with their ex, and they know them more than anyone else, which is true but the reality is most of everyone situation is somewhat the same. And I agree with others nothing in those texts say he wants you back, it just seems he was wondering what you were up to that's it. And the only reason I couild actually see him coming back is if he gets dumped by the new person he is and goes back to you for comfort until he finds something new.
EmperorR Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 It means something if you believe in The Law of Attraction Yes, he's proud..but he called me 2 times in a row and texted me after 2 MONTHS. Come on guys, don't play like this happens everyday And my ex did the same thing as well after 3 months NC, but did it mean anything nope, she was just wondering what happened to me. Trust me if he wanted you back, he would have you back already.
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 I'm guessing you read the "Secret" as well. Sigh. I really hope it works out for you, but please don't build up that tower of hope too high. Yes I did! So far, it is working. When he dumped me, and I was reading about histories about ex that were getting in touch again I could only think that with this guy he was never going to happen..but life really surprised me this time. The Universe is at work!
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 And my ex did the same thing as well after 3 months NC, but did it mean anything nope, she was just wondering what happened to me. Trust me if he wanted you back, he would have you back already. Emperor, you changed your pic lol Trust me, we are going to go back together. I imagine things going this way: he will invite me to dinner to talk about the break up, I will tell him that I will agree to go back as long as he make the commitment to make things work between us. Than we will have a night of pure lust ahahahaha:laugh: And then, I will post to LS and celebrate with all of you!
openbook08 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Im sorry Tinkerbell but youve gotta listen to what these people here are telling you. Some of the way the advice is worded might seem harsh, I see that, but theyre only trying to protect you. I wish I had known about this site when my ex came back after 2months NC. words are NOT ENOUGH. dont settle for empty promises you WILL get hurt again. a text? a TEXT? whooppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee NOT ENOUGH you are worth a LOT more wait for that, then and only then consider it actions speak louder than words I know how hard/confusing/frustrating this is but trust us. these people will not see you wrong. clear your mind and read all the posts again. find a compromise, take something/anything you can swallow and dont jump in 2 feet just yet.
northstar1 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Yes I did! So far, it is working. When he dumped me, and I was reading about histories about ex that were getting in touch again I could only think that with this guy he was never going to happen..but life really surprised me this time. The Universe is at work! You know, I hope it works out for you, I really do, but didn't you only date for 1 month, and have been broken up for 2? Until he actually shows up at your door wanting to reconcile, then I think you need to keep your hope in check. A text is a weak way of getting in touch with someone - it's easy, and detached from any sort of real emotion or in person discussion of feelings. Please don't build yourself for disappointment if he doesn't want a relationship. The universe may not be willing to offer you your money back if it doesn't happen the way the books says it will.
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