wierdmunky Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I've been dating this person for a year, we barely talk, or see each other. I'm semi-okay with that, it's just whenever we do talk, it's about nothing, and it bothers me. I don't really feel like I'm a family person even though I do think family is important, and I do enjoy the the family social gatherings, but sometimes I don't feel right when I'm at a table and it's an intimate setting. I don't feel comfortable, and after all this time, I STILL don't have anything to say when it comes to dinner, and it's getting to be more stressful, than enjoyable, and getting to know the family. It just doesn't make sense to me sometimes. When conversations start running, I don't feel like I can get into it. Although I know I have things to say, I can't get into the conversation ever. I don't feel like we have a lot in common, and in people's conversations my age in general, so it's adds to the pressure. I really like this guy, he comes from a really decent family, and I appreciate everything he does for me, but I just don't feel close because of this, and it's almost like this wall I can't get through. I like him, thought I could tell him I love him, but I don't know. When things aren't right like I think they should be, it makes me wonder why are they like the way they are, and where do I look to make it better, as in talking to him, or thinking things out for myself..
Author wierdmunky Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 thats a good question, I think it's because who he's been to me, I appreciate who he is....
lovingalways Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Are you scared of communication? Like, do you freeze up right before you're about to say something?
Author wierdmunky Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 Yes, all the time. When I force myself to say something, it doesn't feel real or meaningful.
You'reasian Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Yes, all the time. When I force myself to say something, it doesn't feel real or meaningful. Talk about your family member's passions and get into a discussion. Say your dad likes golf. Try to recall a recent tournament you saw and how you thought the players performed, bring up a recent change in the sport and how you think its going to change things etc. Shape it with your personal opinions.
lovingalways Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Yes, all the time. When I force myself to say something, it doesn't feel real or meaningful. I feel like you lack confidence in what you are saying. Maybe you're scared of people judging you, because that's when I shut out and just observe? Try not caring what others think of you and feel free to express yourself. I know it's hard at the beginning, but I've been there. There has been a situation in my life where I didn't want to state my opinion for weeks and I would keep silent. Nowadays, I just don't care what people think. It is my life, my beliefs and they can deal with it.
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