smiiiley Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I hate everything right now... I'm posting in here just to vent..because i have nobody to go to...sadly sometimes we have friends but we dont really have them...as the quote goes "if you cant handle me at my worst then u dont deserve me at my best." Showing how much I'm hurting to anybody is useless cause they never understand..the past week i had to listen to one of my friends cry and b*tch about her boyfriend and how he doesnt love her and how she just wanted to die and all that stuff... i told her to calm down and was there for her but all i kept thinking in the back of my head is how she wasnt there for me...when i was in the worst moments of my break-up, alls he could tell me was "get over it"...instead i listened to her crying and talking the whole week when im depressed as hell myself...only for her to get back with him and then completely ditch me and ignore my calls these couple of days... one of my other friends is with her boyfriend but goes around cheating on him and yet he still stays with her...and i know so many more messed up stories, this world is so unfair..right now i dont see justice, i dont see rainbows, all i see is fu*ked up people and im tired of it...i dont even know whats the point of this post..i guess just letting my frustrations out...and i dont care if i sound like a whiny b*tch...im tired of this crap...im tired of people getting away with things, im tired of being there for others but having them not be there for me...im tired of keeping things inside and having to post on a freakin website for someone to hear me out....i had to learn the hard way that at the end of the day all u got is ur damn self..and u can be a good person all u want but at the end of the day that wont make u have a good life...and others can dow rong all they want and go on like everything is fine.... im so sick and tired of heartless & shallow people.....im surrounded by as*holes....im pretty, i take care of myself and I guess you could say I have it together moneywise and whatnot...but everything is so pointless...i want the simple things out of life..money dont mean sh*t and neither does having people u can go out to clubs with...im stuck in this f*ckin bubble....im so sick and tired of everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Riffmeister General Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Can I join you in your bubble? I'm pretty sick of watching Pharma companies take third world countries for bloody testing grounds, massive nations invading defenseless countries for oil, people banging on about this bloody 2012 armageddon (what the fu*k are you going on about?!), the funding of rogue governments to commit mass genocide... The world really seems to suck sometimes. In a sense, knowing how messed up other people's relationships are makes me feel slightly thankful I'm no longer in one! But then, one day, someone does something or says something to you that touches you so deeply that all you see is the beautiful snow-capped mountains, a snowflake on the eyelash of a startled deer, fields of green and skies of blue... It'll happen to you, to me, to all of us at some point. That's us falling in love again. Lets be patient together. I don't need any more of this weed...
emotionalydistraugt Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Wow do I feel our pain. When I found out she cheated on me, I didn't want to be around anyone. I hated positive people. What right did they have to be happy while I was in a state of complete and utter disillusion. I was lost. I wanted to be around only negative people, negative things. Things that could relate to what I was going through. (This was just last month so I'm still kinda going through it.) I had a highschool friend who would constantly come to me after his girlfriend would cheat on him over and over again. I really didn't have great relationship advice other than you need to get away from her and get rid of her. I wanted the best for my friend and I knew getting away from her would be best for him. I would sit there and listen to him vent on and on and on about this girl and I would be a friend to him. Now that I am going through this time in my life, it all goes back to him. "Remember how you would say get rid of her she's a whore, sucks doesn't it?" He told me that. What nerve does he have. Then he started talking about his girl again right after I find out she cheated on me. Some people are just too self centered for their or anyone's own good. They don't know how to help others because the only thing they have on their mind is themselves and their own well being. Still be friends with them but don't depend on them unless they deserve it. Try to stay strong. I love this site even though I'm new to it because you are with people who are going through you're pain. I feel like everyone is here for everyone. I am here for you. Keep your head up. People are hear to listen and help
Ezekiel1337 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I know how you feel. I blame this culture. My family is from mexico, i dont know... relationships are different there. Here, sex is like shaking hands, sometimes not even that. IT was casual? wtf is that. For me, i used to be that way... when i was 17. But after being in the 3 1/2 year relationship i was in, im not anymore. We just broke up.... im dying inside... dying. I have always been faithful. Extremly faithful, a great guy. I did everything for her. I sacrificed my college life, my time, my future, my money, everything for her. THere wasnt one thing i wouldnt do for her, i would always think of her in every decision. No matter what the situation, i would always factor her in. So imagined how surprised i was when i called one day and she wasnt where she said she was. SHe was with a guy, apparantly she didnt cheat... but the simple fact that she was with a guy from work in the morning and lying.... killed me. I felt like my blood was actually lava. I thought i was going to die of a heart attack. But what bothers me more, is that what im most worried about is her being a slut like all the girls ive ever met. Why are people here like that? All they do is have sex and drink. That is fun for them. What ever happened to respecting ourselves, our bodies. Sex is special, i dont mean you havce to wait till your married, but at least till the person your giving your body to deserves it. I have been a moral, vituous man. I dont know any man who acts like i do. It seems like every guy has his sexual agenda first, never a womans feelings. Why am i so good... when everyone seems so bad. THats not to say that there arnt guys who act like me out there. Just where are they? And why cant my ex meet someone like that, instead of manipulting *******s? I guess i have always been good... because i expected that the harder i tried to be good, the better people around me would be. Subliminaly i suppose. But this break up has taught me... im good ... because its good. And that is it. THere is no secondary gain, it is just the right thing to do. Dont be discouraged, take joy in the fact that you are unique. Obviously you are not like everyone else. That means that someone is going to be very lucky to have you. Be proud that you are not like everyone else, i feel sorry for all the other people that act that way. It's so primitive. Being an immoral person like that has its consequences, these people will not be happy in their lives... you will be. Know that... it's what comforts me right now... its all i have to hold on to right now.
emotionalydistraugt Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I agree 100% Ezekial. I was totally trustworthy to this girl. I never held anything from her, good or bad. Not because it made me feel better but because I felt it was right to not hide anything from the one you love. Then I find out she was hiding stuff from me. I gave so much out to her and received a pile of crap in return. I also agree with the sex comments you made. We all have hormones, I get it. But why do we allow our hormones to take control of us. Why has sex become something to do because you're bored. Where's the love? Where's the compassion? That's why sex is there. To be shared between two people who love each other. Not another thing you can tell people about just to tell them. I agree you don't have to stay abstinent till marriage but don't have sex just to do it, do it with someone you LOVE. I reiterate LOVE. I have the same fears you do about my ex having sex with another guy like so many of her friends do and I hope she's a better person than that. But then again I never thought she would cheat on me either. You win some you lose some I guess. Maybe I should move to Mexico.
Ezekiel1337 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I agree 100% Ezekial. I was totally trustworthy to this girl. I never held anything from her, good or bad. Not because it made me feel better but because I felt it was right to not hide anything from the one you love. Then I find out she was hiding stuff from me. I gave so much out to her and received a pile of crap in return. I also agree with the sex comments you made. We all have hormones, I get it. But why do we allow our hormones to take control of us. Why has sex become something to do because you're bored. Where's the love? Where's the compassion? That's why sex is there. To be shared between two people who love each other. Not another thing you can tell people about just to tell them. I agree you don't have to stay abstinent till marriage but don't have sex just to do it, do it with someone you LOVE. I reiterate LOVE. I have the same fears you do about my ex having sex with another guy like so many of her friends do and I hope she's a better person than that. But then again I never thought she would cheat on me either. You win some you lose some I guess. Maybe I should move to Mexico. Women there are a lot more old fashioned though. They look just like us, but they are really proper. But you're right... sex is such a normal thing now a days. I hate watching movies that condone casual sex. Sex is so special, its giving your body to someone... it should be someone you love. I used to think, that if i was a good person... a wholesome person, i have eliminated a majority of the worries of a relationship, since a guy is ussually the horn dog. But not anymore, women are just as slimy.... what can i do now? There is only the hope of finding a good wholesome woman to love me for who i am. God damn it.... this hurts so much.
emotionalydistraugt Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I'm going through exactly what your going through man. I thought I had found one of the wholesome girls. SHe held out for a year before we had sex. I thought I was going to marry her so I really had no problem with it. I loved her she loved me why shouldn't we share that bond together. Then she cheats on me and it makes me question whether or not she was the person I thought she was. It doesn't help that her best friends are whores and treat sex like it's a contest, the most attractive guy wins for the time being. This girl is so easily manipulated I'm afraid her friends will influence her to have sex with other guys. I even told her how I felt, how I thought if we did get back together we shouldnt do it soo much or for a while and she was shocked. Like she just wanted me for that very reason. I agree it does hurt but we can't control these girls. We just have to: 1)not think about them 2) Not think about them having sex with someone else 3) Realize no matter what we can't control what they do 4)Accept we can't change who they are 5) Try to find someone else with our same morals Lets try to hold our heads up
Nikki Sahagin Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I've always thought this as well. I always think I try my hardest to be a good person but that doesn't save me from pain, from hurt, from suffering, from being treated like **** with no repercussions and no consequences. I know so many good people who have had to pull through such tragedy, and I know some real cruel, borderline evil people, who seem to just float through life like it's a bed of roses. In the end I don't know whether it's easier to believe that there's a God, or a higher force, or a reason for things or whether it really is just good for goods sake. I do think some people are just intrinsically good and some are just intrinsically bad. Some people KNOW there is no true reward for being good - being good and nice attracts just as many cruel, manipulative users as it does other good people - but it is just your drive inside to be a good person. Sometimes I despair. I go inside myself and think no i'm not perfect, but I am a good person and i'm sick of the other people around me. I'm only 19 but I feel like a pensioner in a teenagers body - i'm just so dissillusioned by other young people who only seem to want to drink, smoke, do drugs, go clubbing, sleep with anyone, earn money, blow it and go home. I've never smoked, am considering giving up drinking, have never done a single drug, find clubs a hotbed of insecure, desperate and sleezy people, have only ever had sex with 1 person (through choice) and keep my money for bigger things. I hate the selfishness of others, I hate the ignorance of others, I hate my own generation I think. Obviously I know some amazing people but just so many of them - errrrrrr. All I want out of life is proof of goodness, proof of happiness. I just want love and adventure and goodness. I hate the attitude of saturation we seem to have; more this, more that, more sex, more alcohol, more drugs - it's a shame you can connect to good people over the internet but struggle to find them in your immediate life.
Ezekiel1337 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I've always thought this as well. I always think I try my hardest to be a good person but that doesn't save me from pain, from hurt, from suffering, from being treated like **** with no repercussions and no consequences. I know so many good people who have had to pull through such tragedy, and I know some real cruel, borderline evil people, who seem to just float through life like it's a bed of roses. In the end I don't know whether it's easier to believe that there's a God, or a higher force, or a reason for things or whether it really is just good for goods sake. I do think some people are just intrinsically good and some are just intrinsically bad. Some people KNOW there is no true reward for being good - being good and nice attracts just as many cruel, manipulative users as it does other good people - but it is just your drive inside to be a good person. Sometimes I despair. I go inside myself and think no i'm not perfect, but I am a good person and i'm sick of the other people around me. I'm only 19 but I feel like a pensioner in a teenagers body - i'm just so dissillusioned by other young people who only seem to want to drink, smoke, do drugs, go clubbing, sleep with anyone, earn money, blow it and go home. I've never smoked, am considering giving up drinking, have never done a single drug, find clubs a hotbed of insecure, desperate and sleezy people, have only ever had sex with 1 person (through choice) and keep my money for bigger things. I hate the selfishness of others, I hate the ignorance of others, I hate my own generation I think. Obviously I know some amazing people but just so many of them - errrrrrr. All I want out of life is proof of goodness, proof of happiness. I just want love and adventure and goodness. I hate the attitude of saturation we seem to have; more this, more that, more sex, more alcohol, more drugs - it's a shame you can connect to good people over the internet but struggle to find them in your immediate life. I certainly do hate my generation... i hate it so deeply. Not just that, i hate how OK it all is. Society drills it into our head that sex feels good and it shouldnt mean anything. Sex and the city, desperate housewives, friends... so many more. Right now, my heart is aching. Bad. I couldnt even eat more than a few bites of breakfast this morning. But it is because i keep thinking of what a GOOD person i had been to this woman. I can't believe it. It's almost enough to cry about, because i havn't told the whole story about this girl. But what i have done for her.... who she is now... if she was left to her families devices... she would not be in college and she would be with some abusive or drug addict person right now. But i sacrificed so much for her, to have her tell me i didnt do enough. Christ. Why am i good? Not because of God, or to get into heaven. No, that would be secondary gain. I took a philosphy class in ethics. The best defention i remember of what the right thing to do is.: "Whatever benefits society as a whole, and does the least amount of damage to the people around you, is the right choice." Doing the right thing has more to do with being a role model, for me it is. Doing the right thing is about feeling good that i am able to do the right thing when others cant. Doing the right thing makes me appreciate who my wife will be one day, because i will expect the same values. Doing the right thing makes me feel great, because i know i am unique. The problem with being good, is that not just anyone will do. For all the rest of the f'ed up people out there, all the other f'ed up people are just fine for them. No matter how messed up they are. But for people who are good, the journey to find the right one is much more difficult. We have to go through the heartbreak and deception of going through people that arn't who they say they are. But one day, after a long time... we will understand we are with the right person, and they are good to. And that day... i will be grateful i went through all the pain. This day gives me hope.
starzphalling Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 a snowflake on the eyelash of a startled deer lol riff i don't know why but that made me laugh, not to discount the sincerity of it, it just made me smile. anywho, im coming to the party in the bubble. smiley - im so there with you, you sit and watch people do all this *****d up ***t and still have the world go their way. People that treat SO's like crap, but they stick with them, and you're stuck wondering why you live the best life you can as an honest person doing the right things and the universe seems to take aim, squat, and ***t on your head. the only solace i find in it is wondering if anyone ever made those people stand infront of a mirror and truly look at themselves, that they woudln't be able to take it....though then i think about how no one will ever make these people look at themselves and im back to square one. ....one day......one day we'll get them ALL!!!!
EmperorR Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I know all to well, being cheated on sucks, it sucks it sucks it sucks it sucks. It sucks especially when you know you did you r best and treated the person better than you treated everyone in your life and they just spat in you rface. It sucks that I had to deal with so much and I never complained yet still got cheated on and dumped kicked to the curb, my ex got a great job a scholaship a new herb bf it's just like a slap in the face, it's like as soon as she made it she kicked me to the curb. When she was broke, dumb coudn't speak a lick of english I was there, once she gets a teacher's assitant job a scholaship she cheats and dumpes me F HER And yes I'm annoyed with alot of people lately, I hate being at work and people talking about their marriage or fiance or bf or gf and how great their christmas was and I was all alone. I feel like crap when I hear guys talk about certain types of females and knowing that's who my ex became, but such is life and I'm not lookign back. I'm the only person who can make me happy and that is a fact I love.
FeedingOnFever Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I'm jumping in the bubble here, too. I know how you feel... I really do. Feeling like people around you are just listening to you for about 5 minutes tops then forcing the topic on to something else sucks. Being told to "just get over it" is the one of the lamest things a friend could do. We are definitely here to listen and help. I fully agree with you; I've been a stellar friend to my buddies. I've listened, given advice, bolstered their self-image, offered another side to the story, or just let them rant and rant for hours. Now that the tables have turned, my friends are acting in bizarre and selfish ways. I think I'm lucky to have had their support for the one and a half weeks that I did have it. They took me out to distract me, etc... but no one really wants to hear me out, not then and not now. I have a new computer and for some reason I can't load AIM or MSN messenger onto it... boo. But let me know if you ever want to talk and I'll send you my email address and we can banter back and forth on there. This goes for anyone else who also feels like no one gives a crap. Just knowing you have support and someone to listen and relate makes NC, moving on, and all those crazy relapses so, so much easier. Good luck to everyone.
starzphalling Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 i really think a lot of it might be people get too hung up on trying to make you feel better, and when you don't automatically turn around smiling and wanting to go to a carnival they get pissy. people need to realize sometimes your job as a friend is to JUST sit and listen, sometimes we just need to go on and on, and don't want to hear anything back....people need to learn to be patient with the people they call "friends" because if you really can't stand someone crying/yelling/screaming over someone they loved what kind of person are you..i mean really, even taking it to a completely selfish standing, statistics say one day that that friend will be in the same place you are right now...it would be in their best self interest to do whatever they have to do for you to ensure that you'll be there in the future....bah people just can't do simple math...i hate everyone
IcemanJB Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I guess I'll jump on the bandwagon too. The phrase "when times are tough, you find out who your true friends are" is so so so true. Right now, I can only think of TWO of my friends with whom I willingly talk about ex-related stuff. The others just seem like they don't really care - see if I ever return the favor!!! This I've come to realize in the course of the last year or so. One of those friends I've been helping deal with this girl who has been using him (but he either doesn't see it or doesn't want to admit it); in fact, he's talking to her as I type this! Basically I told him to put his foot down, tell her what he wants, and make her give him an answer. I HATE seeing him getting strung around by that bitch. He and I have been friends since 1st grade, hell we grew up on the same street together. I told him (jokingly) that I'd kick his ass if he didn't grow a pair and put his foot down with that girl lol. Anyways, yeah most people in the world just plain suck. I used to get all worked up about how awful people can be, but now I just accept it. Sometimes it's fun to try and find the humor in how awful people can be. I've learned that no matter how ridiculous people can act, you need to have integrity and still be yourself. I know that because of who I am, having patience for that amazing woman that will come into my life is essential. Since my breakup, I'm less and less concerned about the time it will take for me to find her. In my past, I've only attracted genuinely good women; things just don't work for whatever reason. As for drinking, partying, sex, ect...I'm with you guys. I can't stand it when all people do 5 nights out of a week is drink. NYE was the first time I've been drunk since the summer - it was fun, but I don't NEED to party to have fun. This is not the case for my roommates, for example....it's like "are you guys ever gonna grow up?" None of them have to get up at 6AM and actually go to work, so I end up having to crash at other people's places to get some sleep. We're all graduating college within the next year - after that, all the partying is called "alcoholism" I believe lol. And the sex thing...I don't do it unless I love her. I'm 22 but I've had only two partners, and I'm glad for that. Seeing all the promiscuity makes me sick, as I'm sure it does for you guys as well. Hell, my ex (two girlfriends ago - don't have feelings for her) called me at 1AM NYE wanting to "hang out" - yeah, sure, I know what that means... thanks for letting me rant!
Surfer Dude Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I feel the same as you guys. Ever since my ex cheated on me and dumped me, I totally have zero patience or tolerance for people, I snap at things easily, I've become this rude as*hole, and I really have to try hard not to treat people like dirt. I sincerely want to be a good person (I think I am), but seeing so many idiots and whores in this society sickens me. This breakup really took toll on me and my tolerance levels, I think I seriously need a vacation someplace far in order to regain my old self, cause right now, I'm sickened by this society and scum that inhabit earth. Every time I go out in the evening and see party people and girls hanging out, I kinda see my ex in all of them. Damage has been done, she made me hate people and distrust women. What my ex does (cheating, lying, treating people like sh*t) is condoned by society and even rewarded, and yet guys like me who try real hard to be good to everyone get NOTHING but laughs and being ignored. Fck this, what a sh*tty world we live in.
lioness09 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I'm with you on that!!! I am feeling pretty isolated tonight myself. My boyfriend is an idiot and I just realized these past two weeks that he doesn't really love me, and my friends are self involved with their own lives and don't care about me over here crying myself sick. I want to find freinds that care but it seems like there's nobody like that in the world anymore. So you can cry to me if you want to and we can be friends even if it's just for today. My New Years resolution is to only allow people who love and care about me into my life from now on.
emotionalydistraugt Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 This breakup has shown me how many true friends I have and believe me they are limited. I've started to appreciate those people more than ever. I just fear that I have become too dependant on them. Self centered people are ridiculous and I work my hardest to make others feel better and let them know if they need someone to talk to or someone to vent to that I'm hear to listen. I will extend that invitation to all of you here also. If you people need someone to talk to send me a message on here or something and I'd be more than willing to help or listen. I think society has gotten to far away from what we are suppost to be and thats being good to your fellow man (no matter who they are)
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