bodie124 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Help me please... after 14 days of NC my ex girlfriend just now shoots me a email saying "Can I talk to you?" I was just starting to feel okay about being alone and looking forward to my new life... now I have this sinking feeling in my gut and I feel like I just took five steps backwards. Can anyone give me some advice on how they would deal with this?
starzphalling Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 if i remember right you ended the relationship? i guess it comes down to, is there anything that could come out of talking to her that would help you? weight the positives against the negatives of seeing/talking to her. i mean she could tell you that everything in the world is your fault, or she could beg to be back with you, or she could just want to say some things she never said initially....so i guess its up to you, and whether or not its worth the risks to you.
Author bodie124 Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 Well I decided not to contact her, but she just sent me a new email saying how hard it is to forget me and how she tried to hate me but can't, and that she wants to see me and talk to me even if it doesn't mean getting back together. I've read enough of the threads on here to know where initiating contact again could lead. All I can think in my head is like this is the last thing I need to see right now. I am trying to be strong, but the things she is saying are pitiful.
Author bodie124 Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 I woke up to a barrage of emails and text messages from her this morning. Will this ever stop, or should I tell her once again not to talk to me?
saturnfell Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I'm assuming you don't want to speak with her / try again? She is like many of us that visit this forum, she needs to heal. She will text, call, email etc. It will stop over time. She just needs time. If you speak to her, will you be civilized? I know that sounds mean, but the majority of the time, when someone leaves someone and they talk, the one who ended the relationship is usually brutal, rude, etc. That's the last thing she'll need right now. If you're going to pull the jerk card, please don't talk to her, ever. If you can be civilized, then maybe? I don't know... I just think about being on the other end of the phone. One other thing, if you talk to her, talk to her on the phone or in person. None of this text / email bull. People deserve respect.
Author bodie124 Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 No, you're right I do not want to talk to her and I want just to move on, she on the other hand has been sending me countless messages begging me to talk to her. I don't want to be rude, nor do I want talk to her and put any thought of "hope" in her mind of a future relationship with me. I am just at a loss of what to do. She has always been this way, extremely attached...and I just don't know how long this could go on for. I know I can't blame her for feeling the way she does, but I know she just needs to see it through until the day she realizes we are better apart.
EmperorR Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 She is like how I was when I was dumped, it's a healing process, I know its agitating to you etc., but everyone does it. Soon she will realize and not contact you again.
Author bodie124 Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 She is like how I was when I was dumped, it's a healing process, I know its agitating to you etc., but everyone does it. Soon she will realize and not contact you again. No, you're right. I am sorry for being so ignorant. I guess my expectations were wrong about how this would turn out, given I hadn't heard from her in two weeks so I thought things were looking up. I just can't see how talking is going to help anything at this point. Should I tell her to stop or should I just wait it out?
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