griffinchicken53 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 i just joined this forum, and it would take alot to get up to speed but i'll try and sum it up. I've never had much luck with dating, actually the complete opposite of it. i've liked girls before, and it never worked out. I went for the wrong ones, the prettiest most popular ones. But all the others looked past me so I figure if I'm going to get rejected it might as well be from someone hot. Needless to say i've had alot of rejections. And on top of that, I don't think anyone has even looked me with a romantic notion. Alot of girls I knew all asked me about my older better looking brother. all the time. I had a friend who hooked up all the time, and he constantly gloated to me about it, which made me feel worse about myself. I was set up to go out with someone when i was 16, lasted 3 weeks, didn't get set up again until i was 18 and out of high school, she was a senior. I think both scenarios were out of pity, or to shut up my complaining. Roughly it has been 11 years since i was in a relationship. I've met a few girls I liked, guess i get fixated on one too much. we worked in the same place, she didn't really notice my existence. But it's one of those things that a mental list of characteristics i told myself i was lookiing for, she fit pretty close. needless to say i confided in a friend who also worked with me, but instead of helping he thought it would be better to tell everyone and humiliate me. so that ended, became friends with another girl i worked with, but it was a friend only thing. we'd go to lunch and i confided in her about the previous crap i had gone through. After awhile i sort of started to feel something towards her. Long story short it fell through. she knew how i felt, said she didn't feel the same, we were friends still but i couldn't get the feelings to go away. so later on, a big group of work friends went out and she asked if i'd pay for her drinks to avoid confrontation with her ex boyfriend/father of her kid. she hooked up with another guy from work that night, not only did i pay for her drinks, the other people wouldn't come back to the restaurant table but were wandering off and dancing, i ended up footing a huge portion of the meal. And when they sort of got stranded she had the nerve to call me to come get them. and stupid me went back the 20 miles and when i'm one block away she tells me nevermind the guy's brother is already there. I know, too much info right. so the next couple of years at work i went from having someone to hang out with, i had to watch her be all flirty with this other guy and just blew me off like i was noone. i got depressed, hated going to work, started being late and got fired. Then i had some medical issues, so i live with my parents, i'm 30 years old, can't find a good job, alot of debt and no income at the moment. I pretty much feel like i'm destined to be alone, who would want me now. If i hadn't focused all my attention I may have looked past someone, or someone looked past me cuz i was obsessed with the skank. there's some backstory, now i'll get to my point, if you are still reading. I'm always on myspace and i fill out the bulletins with obsurd answers and sometimes badmouth actor's poor acting skills. This girl i went to high school responded saying to stop badmouthing her future husband. so we've been emailing back and forth for a few months now. but i didn't really know her, i was a dork, she was a cheerleader. But she talks to me more than any other girl I know does. usually an email with a female only goes about three or 4 times, with her it's been almost every day, sometimes more than that. So i find myself subconsciously started to read for signs she might like me. But we don't hang out, and she's in a long term relationship. I would never do anything, and I hate myself that sometimes the thought pops in my head that maybe they break up. I don't want to be that guy that wishes for someone else's pain. She deserves to be happy. I need someone to tell me how to know if someone is interested, so i'm not constantly wondering. and i also need someone to meet me somewhere and beat some sense into me so i'll quit liking her. i want to go back to just wanting to be friends and not the other. sorry for so much but thanks for reading, and hope to hear from some of you.
You'reasian Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 i I need someone to tell me how to know if someone is interested, so i'm not constantly wondering. and i also need someone to meet me somewhere and beat some sense into me so i'll quit liking her. i want to go back to just wanting to be friends and not the other. sorry for so much but thanks for reading, and hope to hear from some of you. Just cut your losses. Let go. If someone isn't interested, their actions will show it.
Perry Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 You should cut out alot of that post, brother. Get to the point. Can you post a pic? The reason I ask is because it may not be your looks. And, if it is, IF, then maybe makeover tips from the posters can help you. But, there are many plain-looking guys who have girlfriends, so you can too. Don't believe me? Then sit in the mall one day and just "people watch." That is proof enough.
Confusedalways Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Sometimes I talk/flirt on instant messenger and email with men but have absolutely no intentions what so ever of seriously pursuing said individual. That being said, sometimes I flirt on AIM and email and have EVERY intention of wanting something more with them. It really depends on the person, and exactly what she's saying. And, I don't mean to be an ass, but the reason I flirt with guys over AIM/email is because I forget what they look like and/or their annoying traits. There's 1 guy in particular who comes to mind that I ADORE over AIM but once I remind myself what he looks like... I can't bear the thought of anything "real" coming out of it. Perhaps an example would be helpful?
Author griffinchicken53 Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 i appreciate the answers, sometimes i start typing and it doesn't stop. It's not like I talk to 10 women on a regular basis, and i'm gonna drop down to nine, this is more i talk to one, and it's gonna drop to zero. And I'm not a really great looking guy, at least i don't think so. Anytime I'm out I just always assume every woman is married or has a boyfriend. So I'm never going to try the bar pickup. My only option would be the friend becoming more thing, and that isn't an option. so i don't really guess there would be an example because deep down I know she won't like me. I just feel the need to have something to hope for. also couldn't edit the post down. sorry. i'll keep them shorter from here on out.
Perry Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 See if you can get a picture posted, and let's go from there. But, man, it can be anything: Bad breath It's all in your head You got turned down only a few times, and then think it is the end for you It really is your looks You look at them like a piece of tender New York strip On and on and on.... The main thing you should keep in mind is that women are just human beings, like us guys. Don't talk to them or treat them any different in the beginning. Talk to them, basically, like you would talk to a guy. And then casually invite them out to go do something. You know, like you did with your male buds. Last month I was talking to some guy at the gas station. I liked his car, and we got to talking. After awhile I asked him if he liked bowling. he said yes. I suggested that we get together sometime and bowl a few games, and get some beer. I just got a new friend. Now, this can be done the same way with women. Is there really any difference between asking a guy out to go do something and asking a woman for a date??? Don't ask for a date. Casually invite her out, like a friend, instead. And then, overtime, if she likes you, things will heat up after that. Think about it.
Author griffinchicken53 Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 i was seeing a therapist. before that i was on anti-depressants but none seemed to work, so finally started seeing a psychologist, but i couldn't get away from certain negative influences. i didn't take her advice like i should have. ended up also seeing a pyschiatrist who put me on some different medication, and i suspect it was that medicine that caused me to start having seizures. long story on that. now i can't find a job with health insurance so i can't afford to go back to the psychologist. she did help alot but i let a person tear everything out from under me. biggest thing is i'm socially awkward. hate to put a picture up cuz someone might see this thread, and say "i know the girl he liked, or the girl herself is on here"
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