missmos89 Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Hi all! Im a newbie here. Split up with my boyfriend at the beginning of october, we were together for 3 and a half months. Everything was great but I got paranoid as I felt things changed,i would keep asking if he was still happy etc because after 3 weeks things were amazing and he said he wasnt ready for a relationship so that confused me as he said he wasnt breaking up with me. Basically I was getting too paranoid so things ended. About 6 weeks ago, 7 tomorrow I think...I asked him back ..I said it was my fault, I wanted things back except i wouldnt get paranoid or upset I promised and I do promise... I love him so much. So that was on bebo mail and that night he sent me a really long message just asking how I was etc...with no mention of the mail...that week he kept talking which he nearly really did since we broke up, it was always me talking to him first...so this went on for 2 weeks and I asked him if he was still thinking about my mail and he replied with "yeah, ill reply as soon as I get a moment lol" So...nearly 5 weeks later hes still not replied..what do I do,do I ask again??? Hes a lovely guy and im sure hes not jsut gonna ignore it..hes the kinda guy that needs someone to initiate stuff, hes shy and cant deal with situations very well. I dont know if hes ignoring me or not...I dont think so cause on bebo on my sayings (if you understand or have a bebo lol) i put up "taking the piss much??" and he messaged me asking who I was referring to so I think he though it was him! it wasnt though What do you think? should I ask again? just cause its nearly a new year and I need to start a fresh?? also in my mail I told him no pressure and to take his time so..is he really just taking his time to think? I said i didnt want a reply straight away as I wanted him to think..I diddnt mean 5 weeks I meant like a week but ahhh help!!
GoneButNotForgotten Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Well he admitted to reading your email. So you put it out there. Really at this point all you can do is to wait it out. It is not fun. You have to be prepared that he may not want you back. You have given him the options but you really do have to focus on living life. Also relationships change over time. It is nothing to be afraid of. I know that I personally would not want a relationship to keep the new startup style forever. It is a lot of nervousness and things that I don't enjoy. I knew information about my ex that even her parents had forgotten. It is just something that I do. If a person is important to me then I remember lots of things about them that may not seem important at the time. Every relationship is different. If you look at a couple that has been together for 20 years they usually do not act all lovey dovey. It is not because the spark is gone or that love has faded. It is just how the relationship progresses. People can love each other without having to express it every waking moment.
Author missmos89 Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 Thanks for that I am only young and only had 1 other relationship that lasted 2 months it was just stupid but this one was amazing I just got paranoid because I cared for him so much and was worried he would leave me after I was hurt the first time in my other relationship. Now I understand the sweetness does go and its doesnt mean you dont love each other. So I will just wait? I was going to send a mail just asking if he had had a moment as its a new year etc. but at same time I do think I should wait ahh I dunno I just kind of want to know incase its a no then I have time to get over him as I start my 2nd year of uni on 26th january and I need to be focused. Also people have been telling me since hes no replied he obviously doesnt want to be with me as if he did he would have replied long ago but I really deep down think he is still thinking and just now maybe the times not right..What do you think?
BikerBeagle Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Seriously, you need to just use your head here and tell yourself the answer is 'no'. The 'people' telling you that he would have replied long ago are dead on ...it doesn't matter what you think 'deep down' ...the facts of the situation are speaking for themselves, and you are just fooling yourself. By holding 'hope', you are literally inviting him to use you ...as a booty call, as a plan B, as an option. Trust me, you don't want that.
lovehim4ever Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Hi all! Im a newbie here. Split up with my boyfriend at the beginning of october, we were together for 3 and a half months. Everything was great but I got paranoid as I felt things changed,i would keep asking if he was still happy etc because after 3 weeks things were amazing and he said he wasnt ready for a relationship so that confused me as he said he wasnt breaking up with me. Basically I was getting too paranoid so things ended. About 6 weeks ago, 7 tomorrow I think...I asked him back ..I said it was my fault, I wanted things back except i wouldnt get paranoid or upset I promised and I do promise... I love him so much. So that was on bebo mail and that night he sent me a really long message just asking how I was etc...with no mention of the mail...that week he kept talking which he nearly really did since we broke up, it was always me talking to him first...so this went on for 2 weeks and I asked him if he was still thinking about my mail and he replied with "yeah, ill reply as soon as I get a moment lol" So...nearly 5 weeks later hes still not replied..what do I do,do I ask again??? Hes a lovely guy and im sure hes not jsut gonna ignore it..hes the kinda guy that needs someone to initiate stuff, hes shy and cant deal with situations very well. I dont know if hes ignoring me or not...I dont think so cause on bebo on my sayings (if you understand or have a bebo lol) i put up "taking the piss much??" and he messaged me asking who I was referring to so I think he though it was him! it wasnt though What do you think? should I ask again? just cause its nearly a new year and I need to start a fresh?? also in my mail I told him no pressure and to take his time so..is he really just taking his time to think? I said i didnt want a reply straight away as I wanted him to think..I diddnt mean 5 weeks I meant like a week but ahhh help!! Give him some space. He's probably just thinking about the email still and isn't sure what he wants yet. It's obvious that he still cares somewhat otherwise he'd be ignoring you completely. Here's some advice go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjJzA0Dz1Ok check out the vid and see if it helps you out. Good luck!
Author missmos89 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 Thanks I keep thinking that too! I need some tips...On bebo I am not talking I am letting him come to me and its working!! I have changed a skin on bebo to "your really my kinda cup of tea" he made jokes that because im a nurse all i do is drink tea so I liked this skin but dunno if I should put stuff like this up like last week my bebo skin said "her heart finally told her to give up" but I took it off that day. Just dont want to mess anything up. Also should I ask again?
Author missmos89 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 Lovehim4ever what do you think?
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