Oferta Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Ok, My recent split and feelings are the usual par for the course. FYI, I knew she went back to her ex who she was with longer b4 me, but I cant tell if she is still with him. He had 'stuff' that was an issue, why she left, so i think she just needed him out her system. That s why I let her leave me. Her online status is still single. Anyway, after I emailed her just a brief happy xmas email, she emailed me one the nxt day, which was optimistically fast despite not much communication over the last couple months... Saying she was hoping good year for both of us, saying things are happening 4 her and feeling better ( she was v depressed, maybe condition actually) Sent me a big hug. I dont know, she wants to be friends it seems but i ve not seen her since she contacted me and took me out for a birthday cake tea, end november (with him at that point)!!. I still felt a connection in our silent stares that day. She knows i still love her. If she wants to be friends now is she just playing with me? Could there be possibility if i give it space. But Im frustrated. Friends dont just email! Maybe she doesnt want shut me out for my sake but knows it might hurt me to be around her. Most say NC/friends is best. She moved out close to me (10 blocks). I pass her house nearly everyday! IDK. Advice pls?
MWH Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 She used you then dumped you. You served your purpose then she disposed of you. Sorry but thats the facts. Move on and don't look back. Or... You can let her use you some more under the guise of "being her friend". Wanna be her backup plane to her backup plan? You deserve better. RUN away fast.
Riffmeister General Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I can't quite get from you what YOU want out of this. Never mind what SHE wants quite yet. I suspect you still harbour hopes of getting her back. If this is the case, then I hope for your sake warning lights and sirens and buzzers and all kinds of sh*t is going off above you, all to the soundtrack of a thousand chimps sh*tting. DANGER! She hasn't been in contact for ages, she does nothing more than email you. You're wrong, friends DO sometimes just email. Potential partners DON'T just email. She's feeling lonely and maybe depressed and is searching for some short-term relief. Sorry to break it to you like that, but you're getting sucked into the hole of hell that so many people do (so don't beat yourself up about it).
Author Oferta Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 Thank you for replying.. Its true I know. Her emails since she left were through the whole spectrum of thought/feelings. I guess what 'I' want is the fantasy of what I want her to be (has her good moments but is overall 'down') and 'not' the reality. I did make a list of how she made me feel ****. Mainly she dumped me while living with me and it was out the blue and no 'out' plan, i was having surgery two days later, she nursed me bitterly, and i had just booked a week holiday at the beach for us.... I went myself which was stingy too! The bottom just dropped and I just focused on nursing my physical healing at the time! I would have gave it a go again after, but she left like it was the end and I didnt feel like getting back soon after, though she wanted to. I wanted her to think about what she did. I was burned but i still loved her, probably shocking to you. I dont feel i will find someone again. I just never get in the situ with the women i want meet or attracted to. No matter where I go. Thats life for us all. I need have more optimism. But its so transparent. I was used.
MWH Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 No shock here. None whatsoever. I took my ex back and worse yet crawled back to her a bunch of times. Even AFTER she cheated on me. So you were used. Welcome to the club. Learn from it (sounds like you are!) and move on in a forward direction. You're in the right place to sort it all out- keep posting and don't think anyone here is gonna judge you. I know that feeling too, where you think you will never meet anyone again. That's a normal feeling. It will pass. Just know that what you are feeling is perfectly normal and you're doing yourself a big favor by taking the time to come in here and talk about it. Hang in there ok?
Author Oferta Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 yes. i just signed up today so a good resolution! for 09.. going forward and as much as its been all clear to me for a while its just the emotional attachment etc that binds me and not see the billboard signs of the reality in what has happened! I was also told by a friend that if it was like this already then realistically how would it be in time...? I appreciate the empathy on here.
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