taintedlove Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I was at a co worker's party where I bought a mutual friend. We like each and we were flirting and I was sitting on his lap all night. Everyone slept over so we ended up sleeping in the same room. The same bed actually because I told him to sleep on the floor but he said "we don't have to have sex just because we were in the same bed". So we ended up sharing the bed and it became a passionate make out session. He wanted more but I refused to take off my clothes. So I explained to him that I didn't want to sleep with him because we weren't in arelationship and I wasn't on birth control. + He said he had a condom but I should do only what I was comfortable with. I told him that I was a virgin and I wasn't ready yet. We hugged throughout the night. The next day after the party he left without kissing me goodbye. He did say bye but then he left and he didn't msging about me whether I got home alright. I sms-ed the next day saying "thanks for coming and sorry for being such a tease but I come to your place next time if you want me to." He hasn't replied and he usually does really quickly. Is this guy no longer interested in me or he likes me but is confused?
xpaperxcutx Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I don't think you want to bother looking for an answer for why he's ignoring you. Just by his action, you can tell he wanted to get under your clothes. When he didn't get his way, he left.
LadyInsanity Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I was at a co worker's party where I bought a mutual friend. We like each and we were flirting and I was sitting on his lap all night. Everyone slept over so we ended up sleeping in the same room. The same bed actually because I told him to sleep on the floor but he said "we don't have to have sex just because we were in the same bed". So we ended up sharing the bed and it became a passionate make out session. He wanted more but I refused to take off my clothes. So I explained to him that I didn't want to sleep with him because we weren't in arelationship and I wasn't on birth control. + He said he had a condom but I should do only what I was comfortable with. I told him that I was a virgin and I wasn't ready yet. We hugged throughout the night. The next day after the party he left without kissing me goodbye. He did say bye but then he left and he didn't msging about me whether I got home alright. I sms-ed the next day saying "thanks for coming and sorry for being such a tease but I come to your place next time if you want me to." He hasn't replied and he usually does really quickly. Is this guy no longer interested in me or he likes me but is confused? You made the right decision not to have sex with him, and now you see his true colors. He was just trying to see how far he could get.
BikerBeagle Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I think if you would've had sex with him, the subject of this thread would be "guy ignoring me after I slept with him".
OpenBook Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 He was just out to have a good time that night. Nothing wrong with that. And you didn't do anything wrong either. It's just one of those things that didn't catch fire. No skin off your nose. And aren't you relieved you didn't go "all the way" with him?? Your virginity is such a precious gift that you can only give away once in your lifetime. Value it highly... and wait for the guy who will value it even more than you do.
JoeNewbie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 This is the kind of situation that's difficult to assesss without knowing the people and the situation. It could be that he was in party mode and just wanted to have some fun. Nothing wrong with that. He may have backed off since sex for you means more than it does for him -- and he doesn't want that "responsibility". I would just let this go for now.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Honey, you did the right thing. You don't have to justify yourself by saying you will go to his house next time. Forget him, he was only after one thing.
BCCA Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Could be a millions things, but it's obvious he wasn't looking past that night. You definitely did the right thing, especially if you're a virgin, but you know how guys can get. There are a lot of women out there who just tease and tease to get you to jump through hoops, so perhaps that's what he was affraid was going on. You'll never know for sure, but you handled it the absolute right way.
JoeNewbie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Next time, don't sleep with a guy you're not even dating. Flirting and making out with a guy at a party is not dating him. Sleeping in the same bed with this guy you aren't even involved with, with other people staying over from a drunken party really isn't great behavior. Next time, instead of displaying that you're "that kind of girl" by sleeping in a bed and doing everything but with a guy you're not dating, sleep on the floor. You do realize that everyone who stayed over now knows you're "that kind of girl." You showing you're the kind of girl who guys don't want to take home to meet Mom, but the type of girl you f**k and ch**k. You should wait for a guy to ask you out on a date, date a while, then let the moment happen, and not at a drunken party in display of everyone knowing your business. It's probably going to take a while to restore your reputation, but find a guy outside of your work circle who doesn't know your current reputation and you should be fine. Good luck! Why won't you just let people act the way they want to?
BCCA Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Next time, don't sleep with a guy you're not even dating. Flirting and making out with a guy at a party is not dating him. Sleeping in the same bed with this guy you aren't even involved with, with other people staying over from a drunken party really isn't great behavior. Next time, instead of displaying that you're "that kind of girl" by sleeping in a bed and doing everything but with a guy you're not dating, sleep on the floor. You do realize that everyone who stayed over now knows you're "that kind of girl." You showing you're the kind of girl who guys don't want to take home to meet Mom, but the type of girl you f**k and ch**k. You should wait for a guy to ask you out on a date, date a while, then let the moment happen, and not at a drunken party in display of everyone knowing your business. It's probably going to take a while to restore your reputation, but find a guy outside of your work circle who doesn't know your current reputation and you should be fine. Good luck! Are you 13 or 75? Seriously, she didnt sleep with him, which implies having sex with him to every adult I know. What she did was perfectly acceptable, and if anything, would definitely make me personally interested in dating her. She wasnt just hooking up. Her reputation is fine. Yours is a total prude.
D-Lish Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Next time, don't sleep with a guy you're not even dating. Flirting and making out with a guy at a party is not dating him. Sleeping in the same bed with this guy you aren't even involved with, with other people staying over from a drunken party really isn't great behavior. Next time, instead of displaying that you're "that kind of girl" by sleeping in a bed and doing everything but with a guy you're not dating, sleep on the floor. You do realize that everyone who stayed over now knows you're "that kind of girl." You showing you're the kind of girl who guys don't want to take home to meet Mom, but the type of girl you f**k and ch**k. You should wait for a guy to ask you out on a date, date a while, then let the moment happen, and not at a drunken party in display of everyone knowing your business. It's probably going to take a while to restore your reputation, but find a guy outside of your work circle who doesn't know your current reputation and you should be fine. Good luck! WTF? Maybe a little different if she had slept with him- she didn't even take her clothes off. Welcome to LS... the judgement and condemnation from some people never ceases to amaze me... OP- I think it's a good thing you didn't sleep with him. SO, you had some fun and got some flirting in! Nothing wrong with that at all. If he doesn't call- you have your answer, he was just out for some fun. I wouldn't try and contact him again. Just chalk it up to some fun and thank your lucky stars you didn't have sex with him.
BCCA Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Believe me, I'm no prude. But I don't get into bed with a guy I'm not dating at a party. Save that for private times after you're dating the guy, don't make a display for everything. You think the coworkers are not going around saying "Katie and John ended up in bed together at his party?" (Or insert their actual names.) They are, and her reputation is shot. I mean she said people were on the floor, were there coworkers/partiers in the same room when they were getting intimate and doing everything but? You're not a prude? Have you EVER been to a NYE party? Honestly? Thats what happens when people are drinking and having fun. If they're both single, who cares if they slept in the same bed. They were making out, her clothes stayed on...I don't see how her reputation is shot, youre being overly harsh. Everytime I go out with single co-workers, people get a little close and friendly. Thats the way it goes. As long as it doesnt go past some making out, its a complete non-issue and I wouldnt think anything less of anyone who was single and kissed another single person drunk. Seriously, I don't know where you live or your social circle, but this is a pretty harsh line in the sand youre drawing.
BubblyPopcorn Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I wonder why Oregon's username contains the word "beaver" in it
edinsvet Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Maybe he still does like you, but found some other girl who gives it up a little more easily and decided to focus on her.
JoeNewbie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Yes, I was at a NYE party last night with a guy I've been seeing. We had a fun time without making a display of making out in front of everyone. We kissed more during the midnight celebration. You can have a fun time at a party without making out with a guy you barely know in front of everyone and getting into bed with him. i still had fun and other people I know at the party (some coworkers) didn't have to see me making a public display of makeout moments with my date. I still have the reputation of a fun person who gets out and mingles, but don't have cowkrers talking on Monday (Jennifer and Mark, her date, were making out hot and heavy in front of everyone at the NYE party). (Not our real names). I don't want tongues wagging like that! Now it's left at that Jennifer is a lot of fun! It's your decision to act that way and no one is telling you wrong. Now let others have their own views on this and act in a way that THEY are comfortable with.
BubblyPopcorn Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Heard of Oregon State? Oh my bad, I was being a bit presumptuous when I first read it
Tomcat33 Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Oregon Beaver your comments are dryer than mummy spit. Why don't you losen up? Making out in public is the BEST! OP you did the right thing in holding your ground not going too far, you acted just fine. The guy was just looking for some fun DO NOT contact him anymore, let it go he's a wanker.
Trialbyfire Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 tainted love, I think you did the right thing and didn't sleep with him particularly since you weren't on birth control. Accidents can happen when only using condoms. But this confuses me: I sms-ed the next day saying "thanks for coming and sorry for being such a tease but I come to your place next time if you want me to." It sounds like you're texting him for a possible booty call. Is this what you honestly want to do or is this just a way to get his attention?
JoeNewbie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 It is kind of sad when you think to be a fun, happy, open person and to have a good time that involves getting into bed at a party with a guy you're not dating. You don't need a group full of your coworkers lying around on the floor while you're getting it on in bed with another coworker to be a fun person, lol. If you're like that, you get the reputation of the girl that no guy wants to date, just f**k and ch**k. Is that how you want people in the office on Monday to think about you? Because this is going to spread like wildfire on Monday, and it will be her, not him, suffering via her reputation for it. I have to admit that some of the things you mention do make sense but must also remind you that several relationships start with a party makeout session. Also, keep in mind some corporate environments are more liberal than others and it's not up to us strangers to judge that.
Tomcat33 Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 It is kind of sad when you think to be a fun, happy, open person and to have a good time that involves getting into bed at a party with a guy you're not dating. You don't need a group full of your coworkers lying around on the floor while you're getting it on in bed with another coworker to be a fun person, lol. If you're like that, you get the reputation of the girl that no guy wants to date, just f**k and ch**k. Is that how you want people in the office on Monday to think about you? Because this is going to spread like wildfire on Monday, and it will be her, not him, suffering via her reputation for it. What are you going on about?!?!? I said making out (ie. kissing) in pulbic is fun, not putting on a live sex show for your coworkers.
You'reasian Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I think we make assumptions about how women think about relationships. This day and age, women date like men. They will date many men and like men, can be players too. So she banged her co-worker - maybe she's banged him before? Generally speaking its not good to date where you work, unless there's some sort of separation (department) etc.
JoeNewbie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 A bunch of co-workers get together, get drunk, party and sleep over. Obviously, we're not talking about an executive meeting here. OP, have fun and forget about all the crap that was written here. Since your virginity is important to you, find yourself a man who you really like and make sure it is a special event. Until then, what you do and who you do it with is nobody's business but yours.
JoeNewbie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 She never said she was a virgin. Now if she is in college, working at the local McDonald's and these are the coworkers she is talking about, having a loose reputation is just going to last for the remainder of the college years. If she is out of college working in a professional environment, she is toast. Perhaps not careerwise, but as far as having respect for coworkers, bosses, etc. Read her first post again, she clealy mentions that she's a virgin. As for the professional environment or not, read my post again. Bunch of co-workers getting drunk together and sleeping over - what kind of professionals who do that? She's having fun, let her be.
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