rod_in_gtown Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Lol, Not really a dating question since I'm pretty sure I won't be dating her, HOWEVER, I just came back from a new years party where I was spending the new years with a group of friends. After a while at the end of the party a woman arrived in a nice red dress (this was black tie optional), we talked for a little and danced, there was instant chemistry. After a while of dancing we started making out, however she said that her friend was arriving and that she was just getting out of a relationship and wanted to meet a guy who would take it real slow, so I gave her my number and then she gave me hers. We made out a little bit more and then me and my friends decided to leave. So I went out to get the car and pick up the girls in our group. when we all got in the car, the brother of one of my buddies comes up to me and tells me "be careful with that woman, after you left, she pulled me over next to her and we danced for about 2 minutes before we started to make out". Now, this guy isn't a great friend but his brother is one of my best friends and he corroborated the story. So I confronted her with the story and she said "ewww, wtf?", I lean to believe my buddy and his brother, and I'm really turned off by the whole thing. I know this is not the norm for girls, but can anyone explain to me the rationale of making out with another guy not 5 minutes after the first one had left?
OpenBook Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Now, this guy isn't a great friend but his brother is one of my best friends and he corroborated the story. I disagree. You've got great friends there. Can you imagine if they didn't tell you, and you got involved with her and THEN found out?!? can anyone explain to me the rationale of making out with another guy not 5 minutes after the first one had left? It's just like a guy going out and flirting with every girl he can possibly get away with. Sometimes people just want to go out and have some FUN. Trip the light fantastic. And she was probably drunk. We all do stupid things when we're drunk.
birdie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 It's really immature to be at an adult party and make out publicly, in front of everyone, with a person you just met, so I really can't judge her behavior as being any more disgusting and inappropriate than yours. You need to grow up. where have you lived the last 40 years?
JoeNewbie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I believe that Rod got what he asked for indeed. Easy come, easy go. However, making statements such as "he should grow up" and "what he did was gross" is totally out of place. People nowadays have fun and as long as it's being done in a respectful manner, who the hell are you to judge others? Perhaps you are a bit too bitter to realize that people nowadays do have fun in several different ways. Not something you learn in church or with your mother, I agree.
Storyrider Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Sounds like she was drunk off her ass to me.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 I disagree. You've got great friends there. Can you imagine if they didn't tell you, and you got involved with her and THEN found out?!? It's just like a guy going out and flirting with every girl he can possibly get away with. Sometimes people just want to go out and have some FUN. Trip the light fantastic. And she was probably drunk. We all do stupid things when we're drunk. Very good point, I wasn't pissed at my friend for doing what he did and/or telling me about it, I really wasn't at a point where I was considering getting involved with this woman, she seemed nice and we had chemistry, but she kind of knew some of my group. she was either really careless or really drunk. Either way, I'm not taking her too seriously. I think going to a party, meeting someone for the first time, and making out in front of everyone is disgusting and inappropriate behavior. ... he is no better than her. Not going to quote that whole thing but I'll say you made some pretty liberal assumptions about what went on last night and your judgements are way off. You also didn't address the issue I was posting about. Thank you for your time and consideration but in the future you might either want to try and read closely or refrain from responding to my posts. Either way, have a happy new year.
JoeNewbie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Sounds like she was drunk off her ass to me. Yup. Perhaps she just wanted a good rebound ****, which I would've been happy to help her with.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 I believe that Rod got what he asked for indeed. Easy come, easy go. However, making statements such as "he should grow up" and "what he did was gross" is totally out of place. People nowadays have fun and as long as it's being done in a respectful manner, who the hell are you to judge others? Perhaps you are a bit too bitter to realize that people nowadays do have fun in several different ways. Not something you learn in church or with your mother, I agree. Sounds like she was drunk off her ass to me. Thanks Joe and Storyrider, yeah, we were both pretty boozed up, it was a new year's party and it's all good, maybe I should've framed the question a little bit differently, When I have chem with someone and kiss, I usually don't go around the room and kissing the next available person like that, I was wondering if more people do this on a regular basis.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 Yup. Perhaps she just wanted a good rebound ****, which I would've been happy to help her with. that's definitely a possibility, but she did say she wanted to meet a good guy and take it really slow, she also said she recently had her heart broken by a guy from the same country I'm from, so maybe I was hitting her way too close to home.
BCCA Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Well, to be blunt, she was well within her rights to make out with whomever she pleased, and if she did just get out of a relationship, she probably wants to explore a little. It sucks that it was with someone else you happened to know, because if it was someone you didnt know at all, chances are you would never find out and might have asked her out. Let me ask you this, if you went to another party after you left, and some other woman gave you the eye, would you feel bad for making out with her? And if she was drunk, a lot of people dont think making out is a big deal. By the same token, youre well within your rights to consider what she did unacceptable and be done with her. I personally think calling her out on who else she made out with was kind of out of line, especially since you just met her and have no rights over her, but again - thats your right, and if you feel you were justified, so be it.
Storyrider Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Thanks Joe and Storyrider, yeah, we were both pretty boozed up, it was a new year's party and it's all good, maybe I should've framed the question a little bit differently, When I have chem with someone and kiss, I usually don't go around the room and kissing the next available person like that, I was wondering if more people do this on a regular basis. They do when they've lost all their inhibitions due to alcohol.
JoeNewbie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Thanks Joe and Storyrider, yeah, we were both pretty boozed up, it was a new year's party and it's all good, maybe I should've framed the question a little bit differently, When I have chem with someone and kiss, I usually don't go around the room and kissing the next available person like that, I was wondering if more people do this on a regular basis. I've seen that kind of behaviour from girls who had a lot of problems (e.g. alcoholism, low self esteem, troubled relationships with parents, questionable sex history, etc). I'd take it for what it's worth, have fun then forget about it.
melodymatters Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Ok, a few answers and responses from good ol' me : first of all, I don't think the beav has a good handle on the party scenario. Lets say you have 100 people, strangers and friends, There's loud music, flashing lights and dancing. Do you SERIOUSLY think anyone is going to look twice at 2 people making out on New Years eve ?!? Maybe if they got naked and started humping on the table, but otherwise.... And no, Neither I, nor any of my friends would or have made out drunkenly with TWO strangers in 1 night. One, sure, two no, so the chick sounds a little flaky.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 So today I got a text from her at about 8 or 9 PM, she says that she remembers my friend, she says she said hi to him and he gave her his card. Then also gave me the name of the guy that came to the party to give her a ride home. The txt ended with "anyway, CALL ME soon babe". I'll think about it. Still keeping in mind all the aforementioned circumstances.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 Nope, sorry, you can't say that it's cool to make out with random strangers at parties, making a display in front of everyone, then say oh, but not two only one stranger to make out with publicly in front of everyone (sorry, that's gross, get a room, I don't see why you'd be making out with anyone in front of everyone anyway), that is not cool. If you're going to do that with one stranger, it's no better to do it with two, might as well, no difference. If that's who you are, putting on an intimate display with strangers in front of friends and acquaintances, that's who you are, don't bother to put a limit on the number, LOL. Ok, I've asked you to stay on topic. Since you can't do that I'll ask you to refrain from posting to my threads altogether.
D-Lish Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Thanks Joe and Storyrider, yeah, we were both pretty boozed up, it was a new year's party and it's all good, maybe I should've framed the question a little bit differently, When I have chem with someone and kiss, I usually don't go around the room and kissing the next available person like that, I was wondering if more people do this on a regular basis. No... they don't. Not when they have their **** together- drunk or not. Even if she is a super cool girl that is total dating material- the fact that she just got out of a relationship means she is going through turbulents. That means- red flag. Not datable RIGHT NOW. Know what I mean? I went out one evening after my divorce and got drunk on Tequila- walked around with my purse upside down, the contents falling all over the place... and ended up at my girlfriends house with her mother holding my hair as I barfed (I was 32). My friends dad was holding his daughters hair upstairs. Behaviour of a stable human being? No... But not indicative of a persons core character. I'd chalk this one up as a girl who is messed up for the time being. That alone is reason enough to lose her number... unless you just want a good time- and perhaps want to end your evening with barf on your pants.
Tomcat33 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Hey Rod, sounds like this woman is fresh out of a rel and might be going off the deepend a bit reclaiming her new single status. Sometimes when people are going through pain they act out in weird ways that are not typically what they would do. Plus she had a quite a bit to drink probably. I guess you could say she might be trying to burry her sorrow in careless behaviour. OR she could be your run of the mill nutty nut. Either way, seems like a bit of excessive baggage, you're too good for that, no? But think it through maybe you decide you want to take all that on what do I know... My only reservation is that she did this with your friend-ish, not cool. I mean it's not cool period to do this twice in one room in one night.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 No... they don't. Not when they have their **** together- drunk or not. Even if she is a super cool girl that is total dating material- the fact that she just got out of a relationship means she is going through turbulents. That means- red flag. Not datable RIGHT NOW. Know what I mean? I went out one evening after my divorce and got drunk on Tequila- walked around with my purse upside down, the contents falling all over the place... and ended up at my girlfriends house with her mother holding my hair as I barfed (I was 32). My friends dad was holding his daughters hair upstairs. Behaviour of a stable human being? No... But not indicative of a persons core character. I'd chalk this one up as a girl who is messed up for the time being. That alone is reason enough to lose her number... unless you just want a good time- and perhaps want to end your evening with barf on your pants. Thanks D-lish, that's exactly what I was thinking, I've found out a little more about her, she's a little over a decade older than me. And seems to be, in her professional life, in a great place. She looks like she's definitely rebounding so I won't date her, but I will go out with her as a friend. Hope it doesn't bite me in the arse. Hey Rod, sounds like this woman is fresh out of a rel and might be going off the deepend a bit reclaiming her new single status. Sometimes when people are going through pain they act out in weird ways that are not typically what they would do. Plus she had a quite a bit to drink probably. I guess you could say she might be trying to burry her sorrow in careless behaviour. OR she could be your run of the mill nutty nut. Either way, seems like a bit of excessive baggage, you're too good for that, no? But think it through maybe you decide you want to take all that on what do I know... My only reservation is that she did this with your friend-ish, not cool. I mean it's not cool period to do this twice in one room in one night. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, and since I'm not planning on dating her I don't believe that it makes much of a difference, but it does give me pause the whole behavior thing. I do agree with lish that the behavior of a person on the rebound doesn't speak to the core values that person holds and specially on a night like NYE, there is bound to be some misbehavior.
D-Lish Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 A super cool person who is dating material doesn't make out with strangers at parties, same with guys. Rod, you are no better than her, you put on intimate displays with strangers at parties, for all your friends/acquaintances to see. She did the same with some other guy after you left. You two seem pretty compatible to me! Go for it! LOL... You're either bitter... or you hang out and go to Mass with my great grandma. Please tell Grandma Ethel I say hello. She won't speak to me because I make out with people in public (girls and guys). Have you totally missed out on life or what? People act out in strange ways during a crisis. It is never indicative of who they are when they get their apples back together. Miss beaver...Didn't you say in another post that you had learned from experience and changed your wicked ways? Maybe you were that hussie making out on the dancefloor once? If she is hurt and angst ridden after breaking up with someone- don't pursue. She's in the "holy crap I have no clue what I want stage". Sure, you could get a lay- but I don't think that is what you want. Hey- we all find our way here to find answers to our angst. Most of us understand angst.... We also know to stay away from those first entering it- and that is the stage this girl you just met seems to be entering.
D-Lish Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Thanks D-lish, that's exactly what I was thinking, I've found out a little more about her, she's a little over a decade older than me. And seems to be, in her professional life, in a great place. She looks like she's definitely rebounding so I won't date her, but I will go out with her as a friend. Hope it doesn't bite me in the arse. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, and since I'm not planning on dating her I don't believe that it makes much of a difference, but it does give me pause the whole behavior thing. I do agree with lish that the behavior of a person on the rebound doesn't speak to the core values that person holds and specially on a night like NYE, there is bound to be some misbehavior. Hi Sweetie-pants... As I said- bad news to get emotionally involved- but OF COURSE someone who is broken hearted acts in ways unusual to their normal course of existance. I have more stories about my post divorce acting out... but I was afraid the Beav would crucify me. I am a different person 6 years later- and a better catch now than I would have been during my messy time. Geez, ok, nevermind. One thing I can say is that she probably needs a stable friend. It's noble you might want to pursue a friendship- just make sure you don't get emotionally involved... okay? Promise me. xo D
Author rod_in_gtown Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 If she is hurt and angst ridden after breaking up with someone- don't pursue. She's in the "holy crap I have no clue what I want stage". Sure, you could get a lay- but I don't think that is what you want. You're right, that's not what I want, I do want to hang out with new people, I enjoy it so I'll call her tomorrow, mostly because she asked. I don't believe in ignoring people or hitting them with the silent treatment Hey- we all find our way here to find answers to our angst. Most of us understand angst.... We also know to stay away from those first entering it- and that is the stage this girl you just met seems to be entering. You're a sage D-Lish
D-Lish Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I never said I was wicked. I just think it's funny to say this girl has problems for doing the same thing the guy does. I didn't say anything using the word Hussie, so you must be the one who needs to come to terms with herself. Now isn't it time to go to bed, D-Lish, won't your parents be mad if you don't get to beddy-bye soon, hon? I'd be worrying more about getting a job than on this board wasting time if I were you!!! If I were your age and had to live with parents and not able to support myself, I would be scared crapless!!! It's not like your 26, you're almost 40 and what do you have to show for it??? Living at home, unsuccessful careerwise, worrying about young men and cougering....may 2009 bring you luck, D-Lish! LOL, I knew it was you Petra... Just checking. P.S. I LOVE cougaring.
BubblyPopcorn Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 A super cool person who is dating material doesn't make out with strangers at parties, same with guys. Rod, you are no better than her, you put on intimate displays with strangers at parties, for all your friends/acquaintances to see. She did the same with some other guy after you left. You two seem pretty compatible to me! Go for it! I’m sorry to question this, but I clearly do not understand the rationale. How does one defend an apparent “married man” who made out with a woman at a NYE’s party (i.e. tainted’s post), yet condemn this post, a man who is single who made out with a female in public. How are your viewpoints in these two instances formulated exactly? As for the OP, I personally don't blame him for having his reservations given the situation but I'm sure he is capable of handling the situation according to what's best for him.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 Lish, popcorn, I've said my peace to beav, I asked her to stay off my posts but she won't, she's rude and judgemental and I don't care for her "advice", all that's left to do is ignore her.
zenith Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 do you guys know each other? sounds like there's some kind of personal grudge going on here
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